How do you discipline or punish your 18 YO?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS had a 2 hour school delay this morning because of snow. DH and I each asked him to shovel driveway and sidewalks this morning before leaving for school. He did not; he slept in and left for school while we were at work.

This is out of character for him, although he can be lazy. Just usually not so in-your-face disobedient to reasonable requests.

How would you handle?

Why are you asking your teen to shovel the driveway what's wrong with the adults and why can't you pay someone?

NP. Are you kidding? How spoiled are your kids, PP? It sounds like the “adults” are going to work to pay the bills. And why should parents pay someone to shovel when they have a perfectly capable young man in the house to do so?

[Anonymous]

Why didn't you wake up earlier to shovel your own driveway? The teen overslept, as did you, do you see the hypocrisy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grounded for a day or two, no phone or screen time until job done. Required sit down meeting to explain why it wasn’t done.

Is this what your spouse does to you if you forget or sleep in? How ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

If you didn't need to shovel it to get to work, it doesn't need to be shoveled 2 hours later. The whole point of shoveling is to clear the road. Looks like all of you got out of the house to work/school fine.

[Anonymous]

I expect my high schoolers to chip in with chores whether they are 18 by senior year or not. Call it punishment or call it taking away privileges that I pay for, but kids should be expected to chip in.

[Anonymous]

Take phone or car away for x amount of days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take phone or car away for x amount of days.

at 18?????

Ridiculous. He shovels when he gets home. Case closed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I expect my high schoolers to chip in with chores whether they are 18 by senior year or not. Call it punishment or call it taking away privileges that I pay for, but kids should be expected to chip in.

Yes, and I also realize that they are human and slip up. Which is likely the case here. Give him a chance to fix it before you assume the worst FFS.

I'm beginning to see why so many of your families constantly fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take phone or car away for x amount of days.

at 18?????

Ridiculous. He shovels when he gets home. Case closed.

Ridiculous, how?

18 is a teen child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take phone or car away for x amount of days.

at 18?????

Ridiculous. He shovels when he gets home. Case closed.

Ridiculous, how?

18 is a teen child.

18 is not a child. 18 is an adult who can sign legal contracts, be drafted, and vote. You treating him like a 10 year old doesn't change that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grounded for a day or two, no phone or screen time until job done. Required sit down meeting to explain why it wasn’t done.

Is this what your spouse does to you if you forget or sleep in? How ridiculous.

My understanding is the 18 yo is not the spouse, but a teenager child still in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grounded for a day or two, no phone or screen time until job done. Required sit down meeting to explain why it wasn’t done.

Is this what your spouse does to you if you forget or sleep in? How ridiculous.

My understanding is the 18 yo is not the spouse, but a teenager child still in school.

God help your "child."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take phone or car away for x amount of days.

at 18?????

Ridiculous. He shovels when he gets home. Case closed.

Ridiculous, how?

18 is a teen child.

18 is not a child. 18 is an adult who can sign legal contracts, be drafted, and vote. You treating him like a 10 year old doesn't change that.

No, 18 is not an adult. They can do all those things legally, but probably should not, especially be drafted. The law doesn’t define adult correctly, it is very arbitrary. Your 18 year isn’t any different from your 17 or 16 year old mentally, physically. No reason to treat them like a fourty year old.

[Anonymous]

You say "do me a favor and get the driveway done when you get home after school, please"!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS had a 2 hour school delay this morning because of snow. DH and I each asked him to shovel driveway and sidewalks this morning before leaving for school. He did not; he slept in and left for school while we were at work.

This is out of character for him, although he can be lazy. Just usually not so in-your-face disobedient to reasonable requests.

How would you handle?

Why are you asking your teen to shovel the driveway what's wrong with the adults and why can't you pay someone?

He lives in the house and is part of the family.
I had my 13yo
Shovel a path on the back deck this morning and a path on the grass for the dogs. She did it in about 10 mins. Tbats literally the only thing I asked her to do before her 2 hour delay.
I walked the dogs and did the driveway then made her breakfast. We all pitch in.