How do you discipline or punish your 18 YO?

[Anonymous]

DS had a 2 hour school delay this morning because of snow. DH and I each asked him to shovel driveway and sidewalks this morning before leaving for school. He did not; he slept in and left for school while we were at work.

This is out of character for him, although he can be lazy. Just usually not so in-your-face disobedient to reasonable requests.

How would you handle?

[Anonymous]

I would make sure he did it first thing when he came home

[Anonymous]

It's out of character for your adult child?

Good, you raised them well. Now wask the to shovel it when they get home

[Anonymous]

He probably overslept. It's not that serious. I would ask him to shovel when he came back home.

[Anonymous]

You don't punish adults.

[Anonymous]

There wasn’t that much snow, how did you both get to work? He was probably running behind and didn’t have time. And how do you know he didn’t do it. Are you home from work already?

I am treating my 18 yo very differently now and wouldn’t punish for something like this. I would ask what happened and if he forgot, overslept or what? Then I would move on. This would not be that big of a deal.

[Anonymous]

Have him do it when he gets home, why would you punish a kid who is usually on top of things. Perfect people are stressed people. Cut him some slack.

[Anonymous]

Grounded for a day or two, no phone or screen time until job done. Required sit down meeting to explain why it wasn’t done.

[Anonymous]

Nothing changes with their 18. Same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have him do it when he gets home, why would you punish a kid who is usually on top of things. Perfect people are stressed people. Cut him some slack.

This. My teens have to wake up at 8:30 on a two hour delay day. Maybe he was tired and wanted to “sleep in” instead of getting up half an hour earlier to do this. Also it’s warmer and melting now. It’s not a huge deal to not have your driveway shoveled in the am

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't punish, he just has to shovel when he's gets home. Which will be harder now that the driveway has been driven on and the walk way has been walked on.

Stuff happens.

I think the only time you need to "punish" an 18 year old is when there are negative externalities that he doesn't feel at all because he's young, but will be very real when he's an adult. Adults forget to shovel, or over sleep, and they do it later. No problem.

But if, for example, he wrecked your car and you had to buy a new one and your insurance premiums shot up, well, he's a kid in school, you're going to eat the $40k, not him. So then he might get a "punishment" like... not being able to drive the new car for a few months and being expected to pick up some additional chores or something.

[Anonymous]

I would not be punishing an 18 year old for something like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grounded for a day or two, no phone or screen time until job done. Required sit down meeting to explain why it wasn’t done.

Lol controlling much?

You are sick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS had a 2 hour school delay this morning because of snow. DH and I each asked him to shovel driveway and sidewalks this morning before leaving for school. He did not; he slept in and left for school while we were at work.

This is out of character for him, although he can be lazy. Just usually not so in-your-face disobedient to reasonable requests.

How would you handle?

Why are you asking your teen to shovel the driveway what's wrong with the adults and why can't you pay someone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grounded for a day or two, no phone or screen time until job done. Required sit down meeting to explain why it wasn’t done.

Lol controlling much?

You are sick

How is it controlling?

This is a teen in high school, lives at home, doeesnr pay bills. Obviously didn’t magically become a responsible and mature adult who shoveled the driveway the minute he turned 18. If he were 30, it’s be different or even 21, but he’s eighteeen.