Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.

Maybe that's why. Perhaps they'd like the wedding and reception to not have a ton of young kids running around.

This. If they have to provide a seat, a meal, and cake for every niece and nephew it would be a lot. And might mean a larger venue.

Since you will have a baby in arms, and you're close relatives, you may ask.

A 1 year old is not a baby in arms. A 1 year old is a loud, active, bundle of motion.
I agree you should clarify, though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have said just you guys, but I just got a invitation for a wedding this summer that I KNOW my kids are invited to (as the bride and groom were talking to my kids about it recently, and how much fun the kids would have) and it says just my husband and I.

So yeah, you gotta check with someone.

Same here - my kids are in the wedding and their names weren't on the invite.

[Anonymous]

Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids?

Yes. I would assume this and arrange for childcare.

Even if the invite read "Mr and Mrs Smith & Family" - I would arrange for childcare.

[Anonymous]

Means no kids.
Have your husband clarify w his brother.

[Anonymous]

Your husband should communicate with his brother. Generally it means no kids.

[Anonymous]

I think you can’t really tell without asking. People aren’t going to address a save the date to a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Exactly. And if you ask now there's a chance to clarify that if the baby can't come, your family may not be able to show up.

What you are describing is not a "chance to clarify"; it's a chance to be passive aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Do they have a website that might provide some insight?

Since it's family - I'd also have DH reach out to one of his parents for clarification (or as one of his siblings with kids).

[Anonymous]

Feeling like a lot of important people won't be able to make it is just your opinion. Perhaps other people are more important that day than distant siblings who have kids they may not have even met. Have your BIL and his fiance met your baby at least once?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feeling like a lot of important people won't be able to make it is just your opinion. Perhaps other people are more important that day than distant siblings who have kids they may not have even met. Have your BIL and his fiance met your baby at least once?

This. I have three kids (6, 4, and 2) and even if they were invited I wouldn’t bring them to a wedding, I want to enjoy myself!! I’ve left them with family and gotten babysitters at an AirBnB through the couple/couples parents to attend weddings. I’d assume most parents want to enjoy a wedding without their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feeling like a lot of important people won't be able to make it is just your opinion. Perhaps other people are more important that day than distant siblings who have kids they may not have even met. Have your BIL and his fiance met your baby at least once?

This. I have three kids (6, 4, and 2) and even if they were invited I wouldn’t bring them to a wedding, I want to enjoy myself!! I’ve left them with family and gotten babysitters at an AirBnB through the couple/couples parents to attend weddings. I’d assume most parents want to enjoy a wedding without their kids.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feeling like a lot of important people won't be able to make it is just your opinion. Perhaps other people are more important that day than distant siblings who have kids they may not have even met. Have your BIL and his fiance met your baby at least once?

This. I have three kids (6, 4, and 2) and even if they were invited I wouldn’t bring them to a wedding, I want to enjoy myself!! I’ve left them with family and gotten babysitters at an AirBnB through the couple/couples parents to attend weddings. I’d assume most parents want to enjoy a wedding without their kids.

I agree, but when DH's siblings got married, my baby's presence was demanded. I wanted to leave her with a babysitter, since dh and I were also in the wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.

Don’t ask. Take your baby with you. Don’t traumatize a 1 year old.

Traumatize? Are you always this unhinged?

OP, absolutely ask as it is extremely rude to assume and just take the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feeling like a lot of important people won't be able to make it is just your opinion. Perhaps other people are more important that day than distant siblings who have kids they may not have even met. Have your BIL and his fiance met your baby at least once?

This. I have three kids (6, 4, and 2) and even if they were invited I wouldn’t bring them to a wedding, I want to enjoy myself!! I’ve left them with family and gotten babysitters at an AirBnB through the couple/couples parents to attend weddings. I’d assume most parents want to enjoy a wedding without their kids.

I agree, but when DH's siblings got married, my baby's presence was demanded. I wanted to leave her with a babysitter, since dh and I were also in the wedding.

DP This is being a little over-dramatic. If you truly wanted your baby at a babysitter, it would have been fine.

[Anonymous]

Ask MIL.