If you found this out what would you do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you found out that your husband slept with his best friends girlfriend ( now wife) while in college 15 years ago, would you tell the friend? Apparently they were all friends, and my now husband had a crush on her. I don’t feel threatened by this woman, but if your best friend slept with your now wife, wound you want to know? They have kids.

They live far away from us and it’s a meetup every few years.

Did you just find out about this? How did it come up in conversation? No. You don't tell anyone about it. They are married and have kids. If she desired your dh, she would be married to him now and not the other guy.

Yeah are you trying to blow up their family and ruin their kids’ lives?? Why??

[Anonymous]

I mean, I would want to know but NOT from you! And that's not universal - it was a million years ago from before they were married, many (most?) people wouldn't even want to know.

Your husband's best friend is a big boy and can handle his own marriage and his own past. I'd want my husband to tell me, but I'm not in this marriage.

If it's been eating at your husband, he could potentially tell, but it's been 15 years, I'm guessing he long ago decided to bury it. And "my wife thinks I should" is NOT a reason for him to upend this apple cart so don't even try to nudge him toward telling.

This is so, so far from your area of concern.

[Anonymous]

Was she dating her now husband at the time or were they all single?

[Anonymous]

I usually want to know in these scenarios but not this one (if I were the other wife). This sounds more like a plot line in a trashy reality Tv show.

[Anonymous]

Clearly you are threatened by her if you're even considering this. Why would you try to inject trouble into their marriage and your DH's relationship with your best friend? You not only risk those relationship, but also your own marriage. Don't be a destructive fool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clearly you are threatened by her if you're even considering this. Why would you try to inject trouble into their marriage and your DH's relationship with your best friend? You not only risk those relationship, but also your own marriage. Don't be a destructive fool.

With *his* best friend, that is.

[Anonymous]

Why are you trying to stir up trouble? It's been 15 years!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. They weren't married. It was college. It seems like you're looking for drama.

+1

What possible good would come from this?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you found out that your husband slept with his best friends girlfriend ( now wife) while in college 15 years ago, would you tell the friend? Apparently they were all friends, and my now husband had a crush on her. I don’t feel threatened by this woman, but if your best friend slept with your now wife, wound you want to know? They have kids.

They live far away from us and it’s a meetup every few years.

You are not part of this triangle. Stay out of it. I would be LIVID if my husband thought something like this was appropriate to tell someone.

[Anonymous]

No. MYOB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well I would want to know.

I wouldn't and I know for a fact my DH wouldn't want to know either. What possible benefit could there be to knowing? What could anyone do that would be an improvement over the current situation, which seems fine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you certain your husband's friend doesn't already know?

This. If they were all in college together he probably knows. Did just your DH and friend’s DW go to college together but nobody else? Then friend may not know but don’t tell anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clearly you are threatened by her if you're even considering this. Why would you try to inject trouble into their marriage and your DH's relationship with your best friend? You not only risk those relationship, but also your own marriage. Don't be a destructive fool.

This. OP keeps thinking about it and that's why she wants to pick at it and make other people think about it too.

It would have been a lot better if OP didn't even know about it, obviously, so the idea of imposing this on another person is so dumb.

[Anonymous]

Has he been banging her during your meetups?

[Anonymous]

Why would you think you should be the one to share this? How do you know that her husband doesn’t know and just doesn’t care since it happened when they were in college and not married to each other?