DD dyed her hair pink and I’m not mad but am concerned

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you believe that dyeing your hair pink is a cry for help?

OP here. Yes I do. When I was growing up this was the conventionally accepted belief in that time and place. That dyeing your hair an unnatural color is a sign of deeper problems.

I can attest. My kid has some mental health issues that surfaced and has also recently started dying her hair.

[Anonymous]

She can be a freak when she's supporting herself, out of the house, with her own money. If she wants an ordinary life in a family home, being gifted a college education - she's not to look like a freak

[Anonymous]

I have a kid with neon hair, a small tattoo, and a piercing. Kid is at a top university. Has joked to me how the parents on the student tours will look at them askance and with fear in their eyes as they pass by on campus. This kid is a top of class student in chosen major, will graduate with honors, is employed, is nearing graduation, is being recruited, is doing very, very well. For Gen Z, dying hair and body art is like wearing checkered Vans with a mohawk was for Gen X.

[Anonymous]

still, she wouldn't scare some people -- if she didn't look this way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your cheerful pink-haired daughter is crying for help? What?

Did you ask her what spurred the change? Because your post makes very little sense. Changing your hair in your teens is a pretty classic way to assert your independence, it's developmentally appropriate, not permanent, and the choice she made (fun dye color, not shaving her head anything) seems not at all alarming.

This. Find out why she did it. Assess if the reason seems plausible and/or is alarming. Dying one's hair obviously could be a cry for help (just like virtually any other abrupt change), but almost certainly isn't.

[Anonymous]

It's called being a teenager, guys.

[Anonymous]

Who are the people with such children? I blame the detached and uninvolved parenting.

LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD 16 dyed her hair pink. To be fair I never told her she couldn’t, but she went and did it. I don’t necessarily feel the need to punish her, it’s really not that big a deal, but I do find this worrying. Maybe I wouldn’t if it was just a streak or something but dyeing ALL your hair (which she did) is what I would deem a cry for help. However, she seems her normal cheerful self, but due to the hair choices I know that’s not the case. Or at least I suspect it’s not the case. I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t intervene? Thoughts?

OMG just stop.

It is hair color. Not like she tatooed her face or got a nose ring.

Leave her be.

Hair grows out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid with neon hair, a small tattoo, and a piercing. Kid is at a top university. Has joked to me how the parents on the student tours will look at them askance and with fear in their eyes as they pass by on campus. This kid is a top of class student in chosen major, will graduate with honors, is employed, is nearing graduation, is being recruited, is doing very, very well. For Gen Z, dying hair and body art is like wearing checkered Vans with a mohawk was for Gen X.

+1

[Anonymous]

A teenager is expressing herself!? The horror! Who let this happen? Teenagers are to be neither seen, nor heard, and should reflect the highly narcissistic parent in manner and appearance at all times!

[Anonymous]

Does it upset you when she sees how small your mind is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid with neon hair, a small tattoo, and a piercing. Kid is at a top university. Has joked to me how the parents on the student tours will look at them askance and with fear in their eyes as they pass by on campus. This kid is a top of class student in chosen major, will graduate with honors, is employed, is nearing graduation, is being recruited, is doing very, very well. For Gen Z, dying hair and body art is like wearing checkered Vans with a mohawk was for Gen X.

+1

Forgot to mention that this heathen child is in the honors college, too. Very well balanced kid, wise beyond their years, quite frankly a mensch, pays their rent in total now from job earnings, plans to pursue a Ph.D., is the person all their friends come to for life advice. Yes, even with that neon hair...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD 16 dyed her hair pink. To be fair I never told her she couldn’t, but she went and did it. I don’t necessarily feel the need to punish her, it’s really not that big a deal, but I do find this worrying. Maybe I wouldn’t if it was just a streak or something but dyeing ALL your hair (which she did) is what I would deem a cry for help. However, she seems her normal cheerful self, but due to the hair choices I know that’s not the case. Or at least I suspect it’s not the case. I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t intervene? Thoughts?

I agree with you, I’d be deeply concerned and I’d voice that. I’d also sit down with her and review everything - school, friends, etc to see what’s causing this crisis. Clearly she is trying to tell the world she needs help. And damaging her hair in the process.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s a sign of mental health issues in this day and age. It’s pretty popular in certain groups. But if it seemed like part of an extreme personality change, I’d be worried. Like if she was previously very preppy and her dark hair was her pride and joy or something…. Sometimes kids (particularly girls) will do an abrupt style change because of something that happened to them — it’s a way of making an obvious break with who they were before. I’d talk to her about why she did it and also check in to see how she likes it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you believe that dyeing your hair pink is a cry for help?

OP here. Yes I do. When I was growing up this was the conventionally accepted belief in that time and place. That dyeing your hair an unnatural color is a sign of deeper problems.

How old are you? Seriously?