He hasn't had sex in 6 years

[Anonymous]

DH here: I’m with “yellow flag” PP above. On the one hand, he’s saying the right things; on the other, 6 years is a LONG time for an otherwise-desirable man to go without sex at that age. So there is probably something floating around on that issue, may or may not be a deal breaker. For example, the fact that he’s talking about getting mentally healthy may mean he was on an SSRI for some period of time and those are notorious for killing libido. (That’s just an example, could be a lot of things.) So I’d say “proceed with caution” and make sure the sex part of the relationship works before getting too deeply involved, but I would not rule him out at this point. He might have just been super busy and stress at work or something.

[Anonymous]

Op, it is fine. He has been telling you all these things because he cares of not hurting you. He could have hid it and being sneaky and you would hv found out later on when deeply invested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did not have sex for 7 years when I was married. I am a woman. Low T was an issue (also the fact that we never should have married).

How old was he when he had that issue started? usually, it is easily fixable so not sure what treatment he got.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was with a woman recently who had about the same dry spell. She had a long-term boyfriend and they broke up during Covid (had difficult meeting up due to restrictions), then she never found another guy to date until now. I dont' think she was a sex addict, just was focused on her career and didnt' have a lot of time for dating.

wow! that's a lot and I wonder why she gave up on it. Sex is not that difficult for women and for her to not getting it would be more behind that reason.

[Anonymous]

6 years without sex or 6 years without having sex [i]with a woman[i]?

99% there's something going on here that you want no part of, OP. You'll see I told you so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not have sex for 7 years when I was married. I am a woman. Low T was an issue (also the fact that we never should have married).

How old was he when he had that issue started? usually, it is easily fixable so not sure what treatment he got.

He was 36. We were just married. Bad idea to begin with. He did not want to get it treated. I did not care. I was trapped in a crappy marriage and had no interest in sleeping with him. It took 8 years to get to the right location (this area) to divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not have sex for 7 years when I was married. I am a woman. Low T was an issue (also the fact that we never should have married).

How old was he when he had that issue started? usually, it is easily fixable so not sure what treatment he got.

He was 36. We were just married. Bad idea to begin with. He did not want to get it treated. I did not care. I was trapped in a crappy marriage and had no interest in sleeping with him. It took 8 years to get to the right location (this area) to divorce.

wow, you didn't have sex with him for 8 years and that too from the start of the marriage? I am sorry, PP, that sucks.

[Anonymous]

He sounds married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah ..He’s def BS-in’ you. He prob has ED

There's more than one magic pill that solves ED, and then some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sex addiction. Hes a sex addict.

Only an extremely stupid person would think she could diagnose this just by what is posted. I’m worried this person is so stupid they may forget to breathe and die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not have sex for 7 years when I was married. I am a woman. Low T was an issue (also the fact that we never should have married).

How old was he when he had that issue started? usually, it is easily fixable so not sure what treatment he got.

He was 36. We were just married. Bad idea to begin with. He did not want to get it treated. I did not care. I was trapped in a crappy marriage and had no interest in sleeping with him. It took 8 years to get to the right location (this area) to divorce.

wow, you didn't have sex with him for 8 years and that too from the start of the marriage? I am sorry, PP, that sucks.

Married 10 years. Did not have sex for the last 7. Very few times in the first 3. We were never compatible that way anyway. Lived outside of this area for 8 out of the 10 years. We should have never married. Bad from the start.

[Anonymous]

Is he using porn? He msy no longer be much excited by piv.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not have sex for 7 years when I was married. I am a woman. Low T was an issue (also the fact that we never should have married).

How old was he when he had that issue started? usually, it is easily fixable so not sure what treatment he got.

He was 36. We were just married. Bad idea to begin with. He did not want to get it treated. I did not care. I was trapped in a crappy marriage and had no interest in sleeping with him. It took 8 years to get to the right location (this area) to divorce.

wow, you didn't have sex with him for 8 years and that too from the start of the marriage? I am sorry, PP, that sucks.

Married 10 years. Did not have sex for the last 7. Very few times in the first 3. We were never compatible that way anyway. Lived outside of this area for 8 out of the 10 years. We should have never married. Bad from the start.

Thanks for being honest, PP. Now, you know what you want and focus on that. There are plenty out there that give back in the same way they receive.

[Anonymous]

It's a yellow flag but not necessarily a red flag. I think it's nice that he was able to go that long without using someone for s*x.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH here: I’m with “yellow flag” PP above. On the one hand, he’s saying the right things; on the other, 6 years is a LONG time for an otherwise-desirable man to go without sex at that age. So there is probably something floating around on that issue, may or may not be a deal breaker. For example, the fact that he’s talking about getting mentally healthy may mean he was on an SSRI for some period of time and those are notorious for killing libido. (That’s just an example, could be a lot of things.) So I’d say “proceed with caution” and make sure the sex part of the relationship works before getting too deeply involved, but I would not rule him out at this point. He might have just been super busy and stress at work or something.

It's not, though. Let's progress beyond the nonsense narrative that men need to be having sex to exist. They really don't. Sex is great, and fun, and for those who are into it, often an important part of a relationship. Sex with other people is NOT an important part of a healthy relationship with yourself, and is often a distraction (or even a liability, to the point of addictive behavior). Recognizing that you're doing people instead of doing your personal work is maturity, and may require some time away from relationships to heal and rewire. Stop pathologizing people who are willing to do that work just because you can't imagine not getting your dick wet for a few years.