Reply to He hasn't had sex in 6 years

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH here:  I’m with “yellow flag” PP above.  On the one hand, he’s saying the right things; on the other, [b]6 years is a LONG time for an otherwise-desirable man to go without sex at that age[/b].  So there is probably something floating around on that issue, may or may not be a deal breaker.  For example, the fact that he’s talking about getting mentally healthy may mean he was on an SSRI for some period of time and those are notorious for killing libido.  (That’s just an example, could be a lot of things.) So I’d say “proceed with caution” and make sure the sex part of the relationship works before getting too deeply involved, but I would not rule him out at this point. He might have just been super busy and stress at work or something.[/quote]

It's not, though. Let's progress beyond the nonsense narrative that men need to be having sex to exist. They really don't. Sex is great, and fun, and for those who are into it, often an important part of a relationship. Sex with other people is NOT an important part of a healthy relationship with yourself, and is often a distraction (or even a liability, to the point of addictive behavior). Recognizing that you're doing people instead of doing your personal work is maturity, and may require some time away from relationships to heal and rewire. Stop pathologizing people who are willing to do that work just because you can't imagine not getting your dick wet for a few years. [/quote]

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