I hate gifts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I return literally everything but one thing and save the rest. It's usually Amazon so we have a very healthy credit after Christmas.

Ok Ebeneezer.

[Anonymous]

Can you stash some of the gifts away to open one at a time maybe? Or maybe for each new toy, the kids have to pick an old one to donate.

[Anonymous]

They can take the grandkids for a weekend of fun at their house. You and your husband can getaway for some adult fun. Win-win.

[Anonymous]

My kids are grown but they loved Christmas. They appreciated everything and it never bothered me. I feel sorry for kids today.

[Anonymous]

I hate the stress of selecting gifts, not just for kids but for everyone. I want to give good items they will like and use and it's stressful trying to find the right things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Books
Experience gifts
Seasonal clothing
Fun snacks/candy

You really can’t think of more than 5 things that will bring your kids joy?

Why can't the kids get those things other times of the year? That's it, for the holidays? Fun snacks/candy?? You're saying your kids font get fun snacks and candy throughout the year?? -DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They can take the grandkids for a weekend of fun at their house. You and your husband can getaway for some adult fun. Win-win.

Maybe the husband wants to see his parents tho?

[Anonymous]

My kids never had grandparents growing up so I may have a different perspective on this.

I suggest that you be grateful that your parents love your children so much that they buy them presents during the holidays. ❤️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell IL's to limit to a certain number of toys or a certain dollar amount. If you can't think of more toys for them, give IL's a list of other things they need (books, clothes, sports equipment). For you and DH, mostly just get them experience gifts (movie tickets, trip to a trampoline park, etc.) that don't take up space.

Lots of ways to manage this. I'm sorry your DH is not helpful but you can find ways to harness your IL's largesse to benefit you and your kids, without throwing in the towel and then literally getting rid of your kid's toys over their objections.

No, OP shouldn't have to be the one communicating with ILs. The husband should but good ole boy can't bear to tell parents. This forum will tell you two typical responses: schedule therapy sessions for you and your husband, or divorce

I make the list, DH communicates it to ILs. Often what I'll do is type out the list and instructions for my parents (stuff like "no more dinosaur stuff for kid A, he has way too much, kid B is getting a kindle from us so books aren't the best gift this year, etc.and then also the gift or price limit). BCC DH and let him know he can repurpose for his parents and if there's anything he should add or remove fir them (sometimes we suggest different stuff to avoid overlap).

Is it annoying I have to figure this out and draft the email? Not really, because DH does more cooking and laundry in December to make up for me doing more of this sort of thing. I'm better at it and have more definitive ideas of what is a reasonable number of gifts per kid and what's an appropriate gift.

If I left it to DH, he would do what OP's DH does and say nothing, and then we just have to live with whatever the do. My ILs are prone to overbuying stuff that is not age appropriate or takes up insane amounts of space, so it's worth it to me to take an hour or so and draft these emails. It's not that hard because I'm already gift shopping for the kids and it's easy to think "oh that might be a fun one for MIL, I won't get it but I'll suggest it to her."

Actually I often save the most "fun" gifts for grandparent suggestions because they just want to give something that the kids will be visibly excited about when they open it. I wind up buy my stuff that is more sentimental or that I know they'll ultimately love but won't necessarily get a BIG reaction. My gifts tend to have more longevity in their lives. I sometimes think it would nice if grandparents bought that kind of stuff instead and I got the fun stuff, but they don't know my kids well enough and are not thoughtful in that way, so they buy the Lego kits and roller skates. It works.

[Anonymous]

You can’t control this, it seems you’ve tried and failed so move the goal posts. All the toys/stuff don’t need to be opened and played with. Identify the ones to keep and set the others aside for later. Once IL’s are gone donate the remainder to good cause. Tell your kids and get them involved. There are plenty of children and organizations that can make very good use of those gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Books
Experience gifts
Seasonal clothing
Fun snacks/candy

You really can’t think of more than 5 things that will bring your kids joy?

Why can't the kids get those things other times of the year? That's it, for the holidays? Fun snacks/candy?? You're saying your kids font get fun snacks and candy throughout the year?? -DP

I’m the PP. my kid does. This is for OP who can’t think of anything her kids might like as presents. My kid loves ferrero Roche chocolate. She does get it occasionally throughout the year. She still enjoys getting it as a wrapped gift for Christmas

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tears? C’mon you’re making this into an unnecessary battle.

It happens. If you're in this, you know

No, it doesn’t, unless you’re melodramatic and childish. Get some real life problems.

NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell IL's to limit to a certain number of toys or a certain dollar amount. If you can't think of more toys for them, give IL's a list of other things they need (books, clothes, sports equipment). For you and DH, mostly just get them experience gifts (movie tickets, trip to a trampoline park, etc.) that don't take up space.

Lots of ways to manage this. I'm sorry your DH is not helpful but you can find ways to harness your IL's largesse to benefit you and your kids, without throwing in the towel and then literally getting rid of your kid's toys over their objections.

No, OP shouldn't have to be the one communicating with ILs. The husband should but good ole boy can't bear to tell parents. This forum will tell you two typical responses: schedule therapy sessions for you and your husband, or divorce

I make the list, DH communicates it to ILs. Often what I'll do is type out the list and instructions for my parents (stuff like "no more dinosaur stuff for kid A, he has way too much, kid B is getting a kindle from us so books aren't the best gift this year, etc.and then also the gift or price limit). BCC DH and let him know he can repurpose for his parents and if there's anything he should add or remove fir them (sometimes we suggest different stuff to avoid overlap).

Is it annoying I have to figure this out and draft the email? Not really, because DH does more cooking and laundry in December to make up for me doing more of this sort of thing. I'm better at it and have more definitive ideas of what is a reasonable number of gifts per kid and what's an appropriate gift.

If I left it to DH, he would do what OP's DH does and say nothing, and then we just have to live with whatever the do. My ILs are prone to overbuying stuff that is not age appropriate or takes up insane amounts of space, so it's worth it to me to take an hour or so and draft these emails. It's not that hard because I'm already gift shopping for the kids and it's easy to think "oh that might be a fun one for MIL, I won't get it but I'll suggest it to her."

Actually I often save the most "fun" gifts for grandparent suggestions because they just want to give something that the kids will be visibly excited about when they open it. I wind up buy my stuff that is more sentimental or that I know they'll ultimately love but won't necessarily get a BIG reaction. My gifts tend to have more longevity in their lives. I sometimes think it would nice if grandparents bought that kind of stuff instead and I got the fun stuff, but they don't know my kids well enough and are not thoughtful in that way, so they buy the Lego kits and roller skates. It works.

This.

[Anonymous]

Tears? Please. You're lucky. Some kids wish they could get more presents. Why would you "throw" toys away? Just ask your kids to make a list, and maybe grandparents can get one higher priced ticket item like one of those Barbie houses, a bike...

[Anonymous]

My kids are 11 and 13 and stopped wanting most gifts and just want experiences or one special thing now. We definitely don’t focus on gifts in our family (at least in high quantity) and it’s much easier that way. Try to reduce now and by the time they are older it will be of less importance to them.