I hate gifts

[Anonymous]

I just hate this time of year when we are expected to get our kids gifts. They are 9 and 6. My in laws go overboard on Xmas. We celebrate Xmas and Chanukah and it’s the little ones birthday month. I cannot think of more than 5 gifts for each. My DH refuses to ask his mom to chill out on the gifts. It’s a losing battle and in 2 months I’ll end up throwing all the toys out because they take up space and have too much stuff. How do I survive without tears?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it's ridonc what some do for the holidays.
Cry it out cry it out.
Old people stuck on their ideas. One day you might be looked upon in a similar way by the younger people in your family.

[Anonymous]

Tell IL's to limit to a certain number of toys or a certain dollar amount. If you can't think of more toys for them, give IL's a list of other things they need (books, clothes, sports equipment). For you and DH, mostly just get them experience gifts (movie tickets, trip to a trampoline park, etc.) that don't take up space.

Lots of ways to manage this. I'm sorry your DH is not helpful but you can find ways to harness your IL's largesse to benefit you and your kids, without throwing in the towel and then literally getting rid of your kid's toys over their objections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell IL's to limit to a certain number of toys or a certain dollar amount. If you can't think of more toys for them, give IL's a list of other things they need (books, clothes, sports equipment). For you and DH, mostly just get them experience gifts (movie tickets, trip to a trampoline park, etc.) that don't take up space.

Lots of ways to manage this. I'm sorry your DH is not helpful but you can find ways to harness your IL's largesse to benefit you and your kids, without throwing in the towel and then literally getting rid of your kid's toys over their objections.

No, OP shouldn't have to be the one communicating with ILs. The husband should but good ole boy can't bear to tell parents. This forum will tell you two typical responses: schedule therapy sessions for you and your husband, or divorce

[Anonymous]

Tears? C’mon you’re making this into an unnecessary battle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tears? C’mon you’re making this into an unnecessary battle.

It happens. If you're in this, you know

[Anonymous]

Gifts are not worth tears.

[Anonymous]

Ask for edible gifts and books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just hate this time of year when we are expected to get our kids gifts. They are 9 and 6. My in laws go overboard on Xmas. We celebrate Xmas and Chanukah and it’s the little ones birthday month. I cannot think of more than 5 gifts for each. My DH refuses to ask his mom to chill out on the gifts. It’s a losing battle and in 2 months I’ll end up throwing all the toys out because they take up space and have too much stuff. How do I survive without tears?

Point out to your DH that his parents are literally throwing their money away...is that what he wants them to do? Open a savings account/mutual fund for the kids and suggest that they contribute to it every year and at birthday time. You can't tell them not to buy any gifts, but this might cut down on the waste and actually help the kids out someday.

[Anonymous]

Shut it down. Find a way to shut.it.down.

Declare you cannot handle the overconsumption, and you won't do it, and they are getting 5 gifts each and that is it. ILs can give one to two gifts and that is it. Because you are doing what is best for your children. Full stop.

[Anonymous]

I return literally everything but one thing and save the rest. It's usually Amazon so we have a very healthy credit after Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Books
Experience gifts
Seasonal clothing
Fun snacks/candy

You really can’t think of more than 5 things that will bring your kids joy?

[Anonymous]

It's The Grinch!

No worries. Your heart will soon grow three sizes!

[Anonymous]

I feel ya! Great suggestions. Focus on experience gifts that benefit you like a place they get out all their energy. It sucks your husband won't set limits with his parents. He should at least be the one to gather and donate when they stop using the gifts. If he were on your side, it would be easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just hate this time of year when we are expected to get our kids gifts. They are 9 and 6. My in laws go overboard on Xmas. We celebrate Xmas and Chanukah and it’s the little ones birthday month. I cannot think of more than 5 gifts for each. My DH refuses to ask his mom to chill out on the gifts. It’s a losing battle and in 2 months I’ll end up throwing all the toys out because they take up space and have too much stuff. How do I survive without tears?

You use your words.