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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell IL's to limit to a certain number of toys or a certain dollar amount. If you can't think of more toys for them, give IL's a list of other things they need (books, clothes, sports equipment). For you and DH, mostly just get them experience gifts (movie tickets, trip to a trampoline park, etc.) that don't take up space.

Lots of ways to manage this. I'm sorry your DH is not helpful but you can find ways to harness your IL's largesse to benefit you and your kids, without throwing in the towel and then literally getting rid of your kid's toys over their objections.[/quote]

No, OP shouldn't have to be the one communicating with ILs. The husband should but good ole boy can't bear to tell parents. This forum will tell you two typical responses: schedule therapy sessions for you and your husband, or divorce[/quote]

I make the list, DH communicates it to ILs. Often what I'll do is type out the list and instructions for my parents (stuff like "no more dinosaur stuff for kid A, he has way too much, kid B is getting a kindle from us so books aren't the best gift this year, etc.and then also the gift or price limit). BCC DH and let him know he can repurpose for his parents and if there's anything he should add or remove fir them (sometimes we suggest different stuff to avoid overlap).

Is it annoying I have to figure this out and draft the email? Not really, because DH does more cooking and laundry in December to make up for me doing more of this sort of thing. I'm better at it and have more definitive ideas of what is a reasonable number of gifts per kid and what's an appropriate gift.

If I left it to DH, he would do what OP's DH does and say nothing, and then we just have to live with whatever the do. My ILs are prone to overbuying stuff that is not age appropriate or takes up insane amounts of space, so it's worth it to me to take an hour or so and draft these emails. It's not that hard because I'm already gift shopping for the kids and it's easy to think "oh that might be a fun one for MIL, I won't get it but I'll suggest it to her."

Actually I often save the most "fun" gifts for grandparent suggestions because they just want to give something that the kids will be visibly excited about when they open it. I wind up buy my stuff that is more sentimental or that I know they'll ultimately love but won't necessarily get a BIG reaction. My gifts tend to have more longevity in their lives. I sometimes think it would nice if grandparents bought that kind of stuff instead and I got the fun stuff, but they don't know my kids well enough and are not thoughtful in that way, so they buy the Lego kits and roller skates. It works.[/quote]

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