Forgoing the elf - is this realistic?

[Anonymous]

We never did it. Your kid will be fine.

[Anonymous]

We did the elf but it was not real and DS knew that. It was just a fun thing to do and DS enjoyed either trying to find the elf in the morning or seeing what the elf got up to (like eating a cookie and leaving crumbs or playing with one of his toys, we didn't do mischief stuff). But DS didn't think the elf reported to Santa, that he couldn't touch it, and he knew DH and I were moving it.

He also didn't care if the elf didn't move for a couple days as a result.

[Anonymous]

We never did it. Thankfully, my kids never asked, so it wasn’t an issue.

[Anonymous]

My kid is almost 7, we never did it and it hasn't seemed to be an issue. "Every house is different" works fine. This Elf on the Shelf stuff is just marketing and I'm nit interested.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 10 and 6. My spouse went out and bought one to start this year. Whyyyyy. I think the whole thing is stupid.

[Anonymous]

We never did it. Our kids asked once why we didn't have an elf and I just kind of shrugged it off. The kids are in high and middle school now. They survived. We have lots of other holiday traditions.

[Anonymous]

Never did the Elf - kids survived...

[Anonymous]

I have never done Elf on the Shelf. Lots of ways to make the holidays special without it. I'm not a huge fan of the concept behind Elf on the Shelf (of using it as a way to convince kids to behave).

I got a bad impression of it before I even had kids because some of the moms in my Facebook feed would stage extremely elaborate scenes with theirs and then post them. It was very elaborate and there were a lot of comments on their posts from other moms that were like "this is amazing, I wish I had the energy" or "you are putting me to shame, wow." When I became a mom, I quickly realized that I really didn't like this sort of competitive parenting and resolved not to post stuff like that to social media and not avoid social media that made me feel, always, like I needed to be doing more. There is so much pressure on moms, especially around the holidays, and I hate this increasing idea that moms need to "make magic" or "create memories." Elf on the Shelf, decorating, holiday outings, holiday cards... all of this is stuff that mostly women I know invest time in and men rarely take charge of, it becomes an expectation for moms, and I don't want to participate.

I pick and choose what I actually want to do. My DH chooses the traditions he wants to do and he's in charge of them unless it's something I'm invested in too. I avoid social media and work to avoid comparing our Christmas with that of other people.

[Anonymous]

We never did it. Every year I'm increasingly glad we didn't start. There were a few questions when my kids were in maybe 1st, 2nd grade but it was never a big deal and now it doesn't come up (older elementary).

[Anonymous]

No elf. Kid is 16 and hasn’t complained, so I assume he’s fine without it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is almost 7, we never did it and it hasn't seemed to be an issue. "Every house is different" works fine. This Elf on the Shelf stuff is just marketing and I'm nit interested.

This. We aren't Christian and don't do Christmas at all, so we are used to saying a version of the above. Even for our own holidays we don't do everything some people do, and we do more than some of our kids' friends do. So, again, same version of "every family does it differently" is fine.

Rinse and repeat for all holidays, vacations, and other activities that don't fit our values or interests. And I am sure we are not alone in that.

Kids are 8 and 12.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We never did the Elf. Never got asked about it. I thought it was a weird suburban thing. Do people do that in DC?

Not that I’ve seen or heard of. I thought it was a semi rural thing for entertainment because there is generally less to do and more kids to enjoy the ‘magic’.

[Anonymous]

The origin story of the tradition: https://thestoryexchange.org/women-behind-elf-on-a-shelf

“The sisters told Bloomberg they hope to become a billion-dollar enterprise, with an elf in every family’s home. “If we stay true to that, the Elf on the Shelf should be every bit a part of Christmas as Santa Claus,” Bell says.”

[Anonymous]

What is the big deal about moving an elf at night to a different place

[Anonymous]

Never. When my youngest got to K, he did ask about it. I said “oh they’re just pretend, something fun to do in the mornings in December, but you have an advent calendar instead”. He never brought it up again, didn’t seem to care.