Forgoing the elf - is this realistic?

[Anonymous]

My kids are 6 and 4 and we’ve made it this far without them asking about the elf on the shelf but my oldest is in K and it finally happened this year. We do Santa but I try not to make it a huge focus. We’ve always done advent instead with a calendar and talked about the meaning of advent - we’re very involved with our traditional Presbyterian church and the main reason I haven’t started the elf is because we already do the advent calendar and I don’t want to add a second secular thing in since Santa already comes and we have other traditions like going to zoo lights, going to tea downtown, the nativity pageant at church, and lots of parties.

My question is, does every single kid at school have an elf? And if we decide to forego that tradition, how should I explain to them why we do?

I’m not totally opposed to doing the elf but it seems like a lot of work and my hope it to keep the religious piece the most important part of Christmas.

[Anonymous]

We never had an elf. With a full time job and three kids, that was an extra I had no intention of taking on. Kids now 8,10 and 12. Occasionally, the elf topic was mentioned, probably because of something another kid said at school, but my kids have never complained about not having one.

[Anonymous]

Never had one.

[Anonymous]

We did not do the ELF. Kids are fine. We did advent calendars, stockings, made gingerbread houses, prepped for Santa/reindeer.

The Elf is not mandatory. But be careful to not be “we focus on the religious part” sanctimony.

[Anonymous]

We never did the Elf. Never got asked about it. I thought it was a weird suburban thing. Do people do that in DC?

[Anonymous]

My SIL sent the ELF when my kids were 2 and 4.
My kids could not agree on the Elfs' name - it went back in the box and never came out.

Kids are now 19, 17 and 14 and they are well adjusted with limited trauma by not having the elf.
Note - my kids attended a public school that was probably 60%+ Christian

[Anonymous]

This is a "know your kid" sort of call.

I avoided it for a few years, but eventually my then 2nd grader old was despondent that she didn't have an Elf. Partly because the other 7 year olds hadn't learned that maybe it's not polite to brag about things like that, partly because my kid has so much FOMO it's exhausting. So I gave in. It's a pain, but mostly manageable and does bring her a LOT of joy - even now 5 years later. Especially because December is a slog until school is out.

I know the vast majority of DCUM can stand firm and have highly evolved children who understand and accept that life is unfair. Alas, I can't and don't, at least when it comes to that elf.

When it's 11pm, I'm exhausted and the house is a mess and I can't think of a dang thing to do with the elf, I console myself knowing that at some point, when my future grandbabies are 4 or 5, grandma is going to tell them all about their mommy's elf and maybe she'll visit them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We never did the Elf. Never got asked about it. I thought it was a weird suburban thing. Do people do that in DC?

No, the doll combusts if you attempt to carry it into city limits.

Y’all get on here and type anything.

[Anonymous]

My younger two kids always ask for an elf, but it is a 30 second conversation every year. We have a lot of wonderful Christmas traditions and I couldn't just undertake one more thing between work and christmas cards and shopping and wrapping and decorating and cookie baking and hosting a big party and visiting friends and family in another city. They are 6, 11 and 14. The youngest one had an elf in K and in his 1st grade classroom so he gets the experience at school.

[Anonymous]

Never did it. My dd would have loved it, but her teachers in school did it when she was little and that scratched the itch for her. Ds never cared about it.

I am not an elf sort of mom. It was never going to happen here.

[Anonymous]

We don’t do it anymore, but I didn’t find it to be a burden. I never created those over-the- top scenes. I just moved it from one place to another. It took 6 seconds a day.

[Anonymous]

Never had it even when my kid wanted it. She is a perfectly fine 13 year old now.

“No, we aren’t buying an elf at target” was always a sufficient response. If someone had gifted it to us, I would have donated it. Or we would have put it out and never, ever moved it, etc. If my husband decided to move the thing around, he would have been welcome to do so. But I’m pretty sure he would have been on the “let’s just donate this” side of things with me.

We don’t sign ourselves up for all this “magical” nonsense. Ain’t nobody got time for that at our house. 😀

[Anonymous]

My neice took hers and threw it in the trash she's 7.

She said "christians are suckers"

Love that kid.

My BIL not happy. My sister to me "love that she did that, she is honest"

LOL

[Anonymous]

We never did the elf. I had no interest, and I honestly don't remember if DS1 ever asked about it.

When he was about 6 or 7, DS2 asked what elf on the shelf was. When I told him that it's a Christmas tradition that some families have where the parents move the elf around the house so he shows up in different places every morning, like a surprise, DS2's eyes got very wide and he said, "That sounds like a nightmare," LMAO. And really, you can easily imagine a horror movie based on this concept. ~shudder~

[Anonymous]

We did it for a few years. It is a lot, even though you don’t think it will be. But the kids really enjoyed it. Even when they were older, kids took turns hiding it.
The last two PPs need to be better people. I don’t care what other people’s traditions are, but be better and teach that 7 yo some manners.