Forgoing the elf - is this realistic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never did an elf. I told my kids different families have different traditions at the holidays.

Exact same. Nobody needs one more thing to do in December especially one that goes on for weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never did it and my sons never brought it up. Seems like a stupid made up thing people do to post on FB.

+1. One more things for moms to do.

This was always my take. We never did it.

[Anonymous]

It is entirely up to you. My kids got a lot of joy out of our elf, so I am glad we did it, but you do have to make sure to remember him to move him and to hide him really well 11 months out of the year! I will say this, if you do decide to do the Elf on the Shelf, make it easy on yourself. Do not do elaborate set-ups that you have to equal or top every day...for years! Our elf would reappear in a different spot every morning and my kids were delighted hunting for him every morning. My kids are in their late teens now and we all take turns hiding the elf...it has become a really fun thing!

[Anonymous]

We did the elf but we’re done with it 10 years ago before people started getting elaborate with elf scenes posted on social media. All we ever did was move our elf and occasionally write letters urging the kids to get along or clean their rooms, etc. All of their friends had elves and it seemed a frequent topic of conversation among the kids in December.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We never did it and my sons never brought it up. Seems like a stupid made up thing people do to post on FB.

+1. Well one of my kids might have brought it up once and I just said “yeah I’m not doing that.” Really by the time kids realize that other families do it, they also basically realize that it is the mom doing that work. I think it’s really important to set the tone with your kids that you are not their genie in a bottle. Childhood magic is fine but it’s also important for mom to be able to say “this is where I draw the line”
I really couldn’t remember the tooth fairy stuff so was not looking to add more invented obligations. My kids are teens now and seem fine.

[Anonymous]

I guess I'm also grouchy because Elf on the Shelf is just some really successful marketing for a book and toy. It's only been a thing since 2005, not some sort of longstanding tradition. So it's just one if those "What’s marketing going to try to shove down my throat next".

[Anonymous]

Ironically we made it through the Santa years with no Elf but my younger DD asked for one after she already knew the truth. She confessed she had always wanted one. So I bought one and we have fun with it but no pressure if it doesn’t move and she joins in sometimes.

It’s just more female invisible labor and I already have a husband who does literally nothing to help with Christmas (apart from contributing funds.)

[Anonymous]

Elf on the Shelf is just some artificial thing created by some woman in Iowa who had to self-publish her book. It’s not a real tradition.

[Anonymous]

I never wanted to do this and we haven’t (oldest is almost 8). It hasn’t really come up. It probably depends on your kids’ specific friends. If I am ever asked, I am prepared to say that parents decide if they want an elf at their house and we have not put in a request.

[Anonymous]

We do neither Santa nor Elf. The tree is enough! Kids are Christian so we are treating it as a religious holiday + many showings of Muppet Christmas Carol.

[Anonymous]

I think traditions you do [/b]with your children are more fun for everyone than the ones you do for[b] your children.

The elf seems to be about 90% Mom and 10% kid, so we never did it. It seemed like a recipe for holiday overload and resentment.

My kids were fine. We also live in a religiously diverse area, my kids go to public school and stopped believing in Santa around kindergarten when they figured out pretty quickly he wasn't going to everyone's house.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 10, 7, 4, and 2, and we've never done the elf and don't plan to start. My oldest made a big deal about not having an elf in second grade because she was apparently the only kid in her class that didn't have an elf on the shelf but I just shrugged and said our family doesn't do that.

I can see how it would be a fun tradition if it is approached in a low key way, but my introduction to it was over the top Facebook posts of elaborate set ups which really turned me off from the whole idea.

[Anonymous]

Stay off social media idiots and do it low key

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never did the Elf. Never got asked about it. I thought it was a weird suburban thing. Do people do that in DC?

Not that I’ve seen or heard of. I thought it was a semi rural thing for entertainment because there is generally less to do and more kids to enjoy the ‘magic’.

This is stupid. I live in close-in Arlington and do the elf and have a friend in DC who does as well. It’s a fairly mainstream tradition.

I also know plenty of people who don’t do it though and it’s nbd. I’m sure they do things my family does do (for instance I’m not a big cookie baker). We also aren’t very religious so Christmas to us is mostly just about Santa/elves and we also adopt an angel tree kid to shop for.

To answer OP though, your kids will be fine with or without an elf. I’d chalk this up to the same category that some families are into travel ball, some have theater kids, some go skiing all the time. Just pick what works for you.

If you decide to do it you can just move it around. I swear my kids love searching for the hidden elf more than the elaborate scenes.

And to a PP who commented about not liking the disciplinary element of it, I totally agree. I don’t think fun traditions should be turned into a discipline tool. Our elf doesn’t tattle, he just creates hijinx and occasionally leaves a note recognizing something nice the kids have done.

[Anonymous]

Never did it. My son asked about it in early elementary but I just said it wasn't one of our traditions. Like you we have lots of other traditions. It was fine to skip.