Midlife Sartorial Ennui

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't work and I dress well just for myself, OP. I'm 45 and reject the expectations you are talking about.

OP was talking about how she feels and what she is going through. I didn’t see anything in OP’s post about shared expectations or saying others need to feel what she is feeling. What I’m saying is, she is not talking about you or expecting you to feel like her.

OP, I’m kind of on the cusp of this I think. I used to love working out and putting together cute looks but my body looks frumpier now and dressing is definitely less fun. It can feel weird to remember something that was such a big part of my personality at one point and realize it’s not anymore, even if there is good reason for that. But maybe this just means your brain has freed up some space to channel into something that will be for you now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want some ideas or some inspiration, I recommend looking at Hey Mrs. Solomom’s instagram account (she’s in her 50s). She also has a great Substack.

I checked out this person and was appalled. She is wearing one mess after another.
NP

[Anonymous]

You sound depressed OP. I hope you get some support. Maybe you need to exercise more?

I'm 46 and still enjoy putting daily outfits together from my wardrobe. A daily walk and toga sessions does wonders!

[Anonymous]

I just shop on ebay and poshmark for clothes made over 10 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Yes, 51, and I have this. I think the issue is that I don’t have a lot of interesting places to wear nice clothes. I started work wearing suits and now I wear jeans and athletic sneakers.

[Anonymous]

Yes this is normal - you’re not depressed. At least not just because of this.

There’s a time and place for everything and you’re just in a different phase of life. Life is long nd we go through growth and phases. The body changes too and clothes aren’t as fun as they used to be. You gain other interests or value being comfortable. I like a party but prefer a casual night rather than getting all dressed up these days.

Funny a PP said in the 40s women get into interior decorating- that is totally me.

Haven’t started gardening but will see what my 50s bring.

Also had you turn the corner around 50, we become more community focused instead of self focused in general so maybe less emphasis on your own clothes or appearance or just more interest in others and serving society and bigger things in life than material possessions.

I didn’t think your post was meandering- I appreciated your candid reflection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound depressed OP. I hope you get some support. Maybe you need to exercise more?

I'm 46 and still enjoy putting daily outfits together from my wardrobe. A daily walk and toga sessions does wonders![/quote

Have you reflected on why you enjoy putting daily outfits together?

[Anonymous]

At 50ish, I'm feeling invisible, no matter what I wear. That has affected my interest in what I wear, unfortunately. I used to love fashion, too. Now I like the energy to care much about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 50ish, I'm feeling invisible, no matter what I wear. That has affected my interest in what I wear, unfortunately. I used to love fashion, too. Now I like the energy to care much about it.

*lack* not like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clothing is terrible now. Abjectly terrible.

I do think this has a lot to do with it. Everything is smocked and drop shouldered and whatever it takes to make it easy on mass manufacturers not to have to tailor anything. So nobody looks fabulous unless you spend a good bit more money (on a cut/style to begin with and then on tailoring) and are a ton more selective. It's just so much work!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clothing is terrible now. Abjectly terrible.

I do think this has a lot to do with it. Everything is smocked and drop shouldered and whatever it takes to make it easy on mass manufacturers not to have to tailor anything. So nobody looks fabulous unless you spend a good bit more money (on a cut/style to begin with and then on tailoring) and are a ton more selective. It's just so much work!

Correct. Everything is baggy and shapeless. Every time I get a compliment on something it's 20 years old. Today I wore a pencil skirt and blouse from Forever 21 circa 2006. When I check out new clothes I never buy anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Clothing is terrible now. Abjectly terrible.

I do think this has a lot to do with it. Everything is smocked and drop shouldered and whatever it takes to make it easy on mass manufacturers not to have to tailor anything. So nobody looks fabulous unless you spend a good bit more money (on a cut/style to begin with and then on tailoring) and are a ton more selective. It's just so much work!

Correct. Everything is baggy and shapeless. Every time I get a compliment on something it's 20 years old. Today I wore a pencil skirt and blouse from Forever 21 circa 2006. When I check out new clothes I never buy anything.

This is why I shop on Poshmark. I do not follow trends blindly, unless it's miraculously something that I know will flatter my figure. I buy the stuff that I know will suit me, and it doesn't matter whether it's vintage or recent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 50ish, I'm feeling invisible, no matter what I wear. That has affected my interest in what I wear, unfortunately. I used to love fashion, too. Now I like the energy to care much about it.

This is weird. Don't you dress for yourself?

[Anonymous]

I’m 43. I don’t feel this way at all based on midlife but I did feel that way at certain times and phases of life.

- does your partner care about or react to you dressing up? Not having a husband who ever took me out on dates or complimented me made me not try very hard.
- having little kids made me not care very much either. They’re older now and I have more time for myself. I was also a SAHM for years.
- being overweight also made not trying on clothes very fun. I lost weight and now I love showing it off.

I am divorced, have an enthusiastic partner, and feel more sexy and beautiful than ever. I think the difference is confidence.

[Anonymous]

Yes. This really kicked off during covid after years of wearing suits, nice dresses, heels etc. I have been fully remote since and changed jobs to a casual field. I basically dress to be on camera from the waist up and go on long dogs walks. I wouldn't say I look a mess or anything, but I have a few different uniforms and I buy things I like in multiple colors/patterns. So from here until spring I will be in jeans, a sweater, and either boots or sneakers 99% of the time. I kind of like it though, it's very easy and much more comfortable than my previous life.