Friend’s 10th grader anxiety & math

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should know better than to complain to you.

My oldest, now in college, has ADHD/ASD with anxiety and low processing speed. He had an IEP and meds. I pushed him in math as well and got him tutors, because he has motor coordination issues and his only strength is academics. I wanted him to have the best profile he could get for college admissions. He can’t be a plumber. He got into a T50 and is doing well.

The thing is, we all have anxiety and inattention in the family. These things are not an excuse to avoid doing the best we can. I pushed myself in school. My second is in 10th grade in AP Calc BC and Physics C. She has anxiety too. She’s doing well.

Don’t be so quick to judge, OP. This family is anxious, and also ambitious. That’s OK.

I love this! Great way to think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t agree with doing that either OP but sincere question why do you care about this enough to type this on the internet?

I guess I’m just tired of listening to essentially the same vent every time I talk to her. Basically “I signed my kid up for too much academically and he’s struggling and anxiety through the roof.” She takes him into work with her when he has days off so she can monitor that he is doing his homework. I honestly feel sorry for the kid.

You know, I have a very close friend whose husband was diagnosed with a very debilitating disease. When we chat, most of it is about his health, her struggles and fears and lots of tears. I am honored that she can be open and honest with me even though our conversations are basically the same and have been for a few years. It’s what friends do. Just let this friend go as you aren’t a true friend.

[Anonymous]

My teens would be mortified if they knew other parents were talking and posting about their academics and abilities. MYOB and that mom should back off on over sharing. It’s absolutely strange

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

There are many high-achievers who are very anxious. You just don't notice it, because they're not telling you. It doesn't stop them from getting As on the most advanced tracks in every single topic

And we should live our lives anxious? No
I bet all you and I can do is agree to disagree.

PP you replied to. Actually yes. Sounds like you don't know much about anxiety. It's a brain difference, rather like depression. It doesn't go away. It has to be managed throughout life. People with autism and/or ADHD have anxiety built into their diagnosis, but one can have lifelong anxiety as a free-standing diagnosis as well.

If you can give me a fix for my anxiety, I'm all ears! I've tried the meds, I've tried therapy, I've tried the usual non-pharmaceutical relaxation aids (hard exercise, yoga, meditation, walks outside, walking the dog, forest bathing, sound bathing, deep breathing, massage)... basically everything except illegal drugs. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I have a healthy lifestyle.

And at 45, I'm still anxious. My children are the same way. I teach them to manage their anxiety. It's not going to disappear just by going down a level in math. Ha. What a ridiculous idea. If only it were that easy!!!!

The kid you're talking about has autism, ADHD and anxiety. He will always have those things. Good for him for stretching himself. He should be commended and supported.

And you should hang your head in shame and just feel humbly grateful you are not afflicted with this malady.

[Anonymous]

Because the career world seems so high stakes, parents are getting way too involved with their kids academics.

I have a kid like Cayden. CP math all the way where a solid B is the goal. Other classes are my kids strength and where excellence can happen.

My kid will not go to an exclusive college. It will be their job to figure out life, not mine.

[Anonymous]

You answered your own post. I copied the line.

“MYOB and just listen”

The rest was too much and you shouldn’t care. Not your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t agree with doing that either OP but sincere question why do you care about this enough to type this on the internet?

I guess I’m just tired of listening to essentially the same vent every time I talk to her. Basically “I signed my kid up for too much academically and he’s struggling and anxiety through the roof.” She takes him into work with her when he has days off so she can monitor that he is doing his homework. I honestly feel sorry for the kid.

You know, I have a very close friend whose husband was diagnosed with a very debilitating disease. When we chat, most of it is about his health, her struggles and fears and lots of tears. I am honored that she can be open and honest with me even though our conversations are basically the same and have been for a few years. It’s what friends do. Just let this friend go as you aren’t a true friend.

OP here. It is different. I have a friend with a teenager with level 3 autism, non-verbal, not potty trained. Our conversations are the same and I listen to her vent, because she needs someone to hear her and I am a safe space.
For Cayden’s mom, it is “self” inflicted. He doesn’t need to be in Honors Alg II when he was already struggling over the summer.
I was his middle school robotics coach. I also introduced him to swim team. I have witnessed his anxiety first hand. Normally, it takes him 1-2 weeks into something “new” or “harder” for his anxiety to settle. His first season of swim team (he knew how to swim, private lessons) - he refused to go into the water the first practice, second practice he only stood in the water, and third practice he was out swimming with all the other kids. Each season of swimming, his is anxious the first 1-2 practices. Robotics - some practices I would let him just build on his own as he worked through his anxiety, and when he had worked through whatever had him anxious, he would join in. In this case, he has been struggling / anxious since late June - 5 months - with only a 1 week break between summer geometry and Honors Algebra.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t agree with doing that either OP but sincere question why do you care about this enough to type this on the internet?

I guess I’m just tired of listening to essentially the same vent every time I talk to her. Basically “I signed my kid up for too much academically and he’s struggling and anxiety through the roof.” She takes him into work with her when he has days off so she can monitor that he is doing his homework. I honestly feel sorry for the kid.

You know, I have a very close friend whose husband was diagnosed with a very debilitating disease. When we chat, most of it is about his health, her struggles and fears and lots of tears. I am honored that she can be open and honest with me even though our conversations are basically the same and have been for a few years. It’s what friends do. Just let this friend go as you aren’t a true friend.

OP here. It is different. I have a friend with a teenager with level 3 autism, non-verbal, not potty trained. Our conversations are the same and I listen to her vent, because she needs someone to hear her and I am a safe space.
For Cayden’s mom, it is “self” inflicted. He doesn’t need to be in Honors Alg II when he was already struggling over the summer.
I was his middle school robotics coach. I also introduced him to swim team. I have witnessed his anxiety first hand. Normally, it takes him 1-2 weeks into something “new” or “harder” for his anxiety to settle. His first season of swim team (he knew how to swim, private lessons) - he refused to go into the water the first practice, second practice he only stood in the water, and third practice he was out swimming with all the other kids. Each season of swimming, his is anxious the first 1-2 practices. Robotics - some practices I would let him just build on his own as he worked through his anxiety, and when he had worked through whatever had him anxious, he would join in. In this case, he has been struggling / anxious since late June - 5 months - with only a 1 week break between summer geometry and Honors Algebra.

It’s not different. We don’t need a novel on the other kid. Just drop the rope….you’re not interested and need to just MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t agree with doing that either OP but sincere question why do you care about this enough to type this on the internet?

I guess I’m just tired of listening to essentially the same vent every time I talk to her. Basically “I signed my kid up for too much academically and he’s struggling and anxiety through the roof.” She takes him into work with her when he has days off so she can monitor that he is doing his homework. I honestly feel sorry for the kid.

You know, I have a very close friend whose husband was diagnosed with a very debilitating disease. When we chat, most of it is about his health, her struggles and fears and lots of tears. I am honored that she can be open and honest with me even though our conversations are basically the same and have been for a few years. It’s what friends do. Just let this friend go as you aren’t a true friend.

OP here. It is different. I have a friend with a teenager with level 3 autism, non-verbal, not potty trained. Our conversations are the same and I listen to her vent, because she needs someone to hear her and I am a safe space.
For Cayden’s mom, it is “self” inflicted. He doesn’t need to be in Honors Alg II when he was already struggling over the summer.
I was his middle school robotics coach. I also introduced him to swim team. I have witnessed his anxiety first hand. Normally, it takes him 1-2 weeks into something “new” or “harder” for his anxiety to settle. His first season of swim team (he knew how to swim, private lessons) - he refused to go into the water the first practice, second practice he only stood in the water, and third practice he was out swimming with all the other kids. Each season of swimming, his is anxious the first 1-2 practices. Robotics - some practices I would let him just build on his own as he worked through his anxiety, and when he had worked through whatever had him anxious, he would join in. In this case, he has been struggling / anxious since late June - 5 months - with only a 1 week break between summer geometry and Honors Algebra.

DP. Stop posting details about other people's kids.

[Anonymous]

Why are you posting about another parents child. “Not my monkey not my circus” really works here… worry about ur own life (or, maybe YOUR child’s?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t agree with doing that either OP but sincere question why do you care about this enough to type this on the internet?

I guess I’m just tired of listening to essentially the same vent every time I talk to her. Basically “I signed my kid up for too much academically and he’s struggling and anxiety through the roof.” She takes him into work with her when he has days off so she can monitor that he is doing his homework. I honestly feel sorry for the kid.

You know, I have a very close friend whose husband was diagnosed with a very debilitating disease. When we chat, most of it is about his health, her struggles and fears and lots of tears. I am honored that she can be open and honest with me even though our conversations are basically the same and have been for a few years. It’s what friends do. Just let this friend go as you aren’t a true friend.

OP here. It is different. I have a friend with a teenager with level 3 autism, non-verbal, not potty trained. Our conversations are the same and I listen to her vent, because she needs someone to hear her and I am a safe space.
For Cayden’s mom, it is “self” inflicted. He doesn’t need to be in Honors Alg II when he was already struggling over the summer.
I was his middle school robotics coach. I also introduced him to swim team. I have witnessed his anxiety first hand. Normally, it takes him 1-2 weeks into something “new” or “harder” for his anxiety to settle. His first season of swim team (he knew how to swim, private lessons) - he refused to go into the water the first practice, second practice he only stood in the water, and third practice he was out swimming with all the other kids. Each season of swimming, his is anxious the first 1-2 practices. Robotics - some practices I would let him just build on his own as he worked through his anxiety, and when he had worked through whatever had him anxious, he would join in. In this case, he has been struggling / anxious since late June - 5 months - with only a 1 week break between summer geometry and Honors Algebra.

DP. Stop posting details about other people's kids.

+1 how disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t agree with doing that either OP but sincere question why do you care about this enough to type this on the internet?

I guess I’m just tired of listening to essentially the same vent every time I talk to her. Basically “I signed my kid up for too much academically and he’s struggling and anxiety through the roof.” She takes him into work with her when he has days off so she can monitor that he is doing his homework. I honestly feel sorry for the kid.

You know, I have a very close friend whose husband was diagnosed with a very debilitating disease. When we chat, most of it is about his health, her struggles and fears and lots of tears. I am honored that she can be open and honest with me even though our conversations are basically the same and have been for a few years. It’s what friends do. Just let this friend go as you aren’t a true friend.

OP here. It is different. I have a friend with a teenager with level 3 autism, non-verbal, not potty trained. Our conversations are the same and I listen to her vent, because she needs someone to hear her and I am a safe space.
For Cayden’s mom, it is “self” inflicted. He doesn’t need to be in Honors Alg II when he was already struggling over the summer.
I was his middle school robotics coach. I also introduced him to swim team. I have witnessed his anxiety first hand. Normally, it takes him 1-2 weeks into something “new” or “harder” for his anxiety to settle. His first season of swim team (he knew how to swim, private lessons) - he refused to go into the water the first practice, second practice he only stood in the water, and third practice he was out swimming with all the other kids. Each season of swimming, his is anxious the first 1-2 practices. Robotics - some practices I would let him just build on his own as he worked through his anxiety, and when he had worked through whatever had him anxious, he would join in. In this case, he has been struggling / anxious since late June - 5 months - with only a 1 week break between summer geometry and Honors Algebra.

You need to take a massive step back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t agree with doing that either OP but sincere question why do you care about this enough to type this on the internet?

I guess I’m just tired of listening to essentially the same vent every time I talk to her. Basically “I signed my kid up for too much academically and he’s struggling and anxiety through the roof.” She takes him into work with her when he has days off so she can monitor that he is doing his homework. I honestly feel sorry for the kid.

You know, I have a very close friend whose husband was diagnosed with a very debilitating disease. When we chat, most of it is about his health, her struggles and fears and lots of tears. I am honored that she can be open and honest with me even though our conversations are basically the same and have been for a few years. It’s what friends do. Just let this friend go as you aren’t a true friend.

OP here. It is different. I have a friend with a teenager with level 3 autism, non-verbal, not potty trained. Our conversations are the same and I listen to her vent, because she needs someone to hear her and I am a safe space.
For Cayden’s mom, it is “self” inflicted. He doesn’t need to be in Honors Alg II when he was already struggling over the summer.
I was his middle school robotics coach. I also introduced him to swim team. I have witnessed his anxiety first hand. Normally, it takes him 1-2 weeks into something “new” or “harder” for his anxiety to settle. His first season of swim team (he knew how to swim, private lessons) - he refused to go into the water the first practice, second practice he only stood in the water, and third practice he was out swimming with all the other kids. Each season of swimming, his is anxious the first 1-2 practices. Robotics - some practices I would let him just build on his own as he worked through his anxiety, and when he had worked through whatever had him anxious, he would join in. In this case, he has been struggling / anxious since late June - 5 months - with only a 1 week break between summer geometry and Honors Algebra.

Do you understand that one of these kids won't ever be able to work to maintain financial independence as an adult, and the other will have to? And it's best if the one that has to go out into the world and earn his keep gets used to new things and transitions, etc? It's exposure therapy, OP. This kid would be so much more rigid if he didn't have this integrated life where he is accepted into society and made to do a host of different things that challenge his fears.

You really don't get it. It's so sad for you, especially in your position as coach.

Also explore why YOU are perseverating on this topic. You don't like to be wrong? You always need to have the last word?

Quit already. You're wrong on all levels.

[Anonymous]

You are exhausting. Why would you post this?

[Anonymous]

Someone needs to start telling families from other countries that it’s not the end of civilization if your child isn’t a math phenom. Let the kids look into other fields.