Relationships that aren't aren't exclusive

[Anonymous]

I think for most people, if you really like someone, that's where your attention is. And you don't want anyone else. But if that person is not on the same page and wants to keep dating other people, you move on. Quickly. No one wants their feelings hurt. Waiting around for someone to change their mind as they date other people is pathetic.

When you are indifferent to someone but like the benefits, it's all good. As long as everyone is safe, it becomes a "situationship" and you roll with that until you find someone better and on the same page. And you drop those "situationships" in a heartbeat if you find someone you really connect with.

So if you are really clicking with someone after four or five dates, there really should be a little discussion about what everyone wants. And most will take the exit ramp if there isn't commonality at that point. Or it becomes a temporary "situationship" because people are shutting down their feelings and have mentally moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried it as a woman and it just felt like getting a lot of low quality sex with people who didn’t really care much about each other. And when I truly like a man, i never want to sleep with someone else. It’s very, very rare I would even be attracted to someone that much to sleep with them . Maybe in 20-30s a woman scan meet tons of attractive men to sort with, but 70% 40-50s men are not sexually attractive to me.

If a woman or a man enjoys this they are likely non monogamous.

I'm a woman who enjoys FWB/hookups. I don't want to commit to just any man, so I'd rather wait for one I see a future with. In the meantime, I want to get laid, and I don't see the need to be fake monogamous when it's not a relationship.

And sure, relationship sex tends to be better (but not always). I see it like pizza. Yea, I'd love a wood-fired pizza from Naples. Delicious. But the local stuff ain't so bad. And even Pizza Hut will do in a pinch.

I personally found toys and soft porn more rewarding and less time consuming than mediocre dates sex and time spent with men I wasn’t very much into, or didn’t see a relationship material. I couldn’t even orgasm strongly with them and was bored.
But I don’t eat junk in general. Very busy and have limited time that I only spend on people who mean something to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried it as a woman and it just felt like getting a lot of low quality sex with people who didn’t really care much about each other. And when I truly like a man, i never want to sleep with someone else. It’s very, very rare I would even be attracted to someone that much to sleep with them . Maybe in 20-30s a woman scan meet tons of attractive men to sort with, but 70% 40-50s men are not sexually attractive to me.

If a woman or a man enjoys this they are likely non monogamous.

I'm a woman who enjoys FWB/hookups. I don't want to commit to just any man, so I'd rather wait for one I see a future with. In the meantime, I want to get laid, and I don't see the need to be fake monogamous when it's not a relationship.

And sure, relationship sex tends to be better (but not always). I see it like pizza. Yea, I'd love a wood-fired pizza from Naples. Delicious. But the local stuff ain't so bad. And even Pizza Hut will do in a pinch.

I personally found toys and soft porn more rewarding and less time consuming than mediocre dates sex and time spent with men I wasn’t very much into, or didn’t see a relationship material. I couldn’t even orgasm strongly with them and was bored.
But I don’t eat junk in general. Very busy and have limited time that I only spend on people who mean something to me

Same. I have limited time and hate wasting it on people who don't matter to me. I had my random hookup phase in my twenties, and sure, there were some fun times, but it wasn't satisfying to me, and that lifestyle has zero appeal to me now.

[Anonymous]

Dang, DC is loaded with hoes. And don’t sleep on the SAHMs out here entertaining their APs while hubby’s out busting his ass to provide everything they need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried it as a woman and it just felt like getting a lot of low quality sex with people who didn’t really care much about each other. And when I truly like a man, i never want to sleep with someone else. It’s very, very rare I would even be attracted to someone that much to sleep with them . Maybe in 20-30s a woman scan meet tons of attractive men to sort with, but 70% 40-50s men are not sexually attractive to me.

If a woman or a man enjoys this they are likely non monogamous.

I'm a woman who enjoys FWB/hookups. I don't want to commit to just any man, so I'd rather wait for one I see a future with. In the meantime, I want to get laid, and I don't see the need to be fake monogamous when it's not a relationship.

And sure, relationship sex tends to be better (but not always). I see it like pizza. Yea, I'd love a wood-fired pizza from Naples. Delicious. But the local stuff ain't so bad. And even Pizza Hut will do in a pinch.

I personally found toys and soft porn more rewarding and less time consuming than mediocre dates sex and time spent with men I wasn’t very much into, or didn’t see a relationship material. I couldn’t even orgasm strongly with them and was bored.
But I don’t eat junk in general. Very busy and have limited time that I only spend on people who mean something to me

That's great that works for you! But personally, I don't enjoy toys or porn that much. I prefer a human. I can tell early on if there's chemistry, and we talk about sex quite a bit before having it, so I don't have much boring sex. Communication is key.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried it as a woman and it just felt like getting a lot of low quality sex with people who didn’t really care much about each other. And when I truly like a man, i never want to sleep with someone else. It’s very, very rare I would even be attracted to someone that much to sleep with them . Maybe in 20-30s a woman scan meet tons of attractive men to sort with, but 70% 40-50s men are not sexually attractive to me.

If a woman or a man enjoys this they are likely non monogamous.

I'm a woman who enjoys FWB/hookups. I don't want to commit to just any man, so I'd rather wait for one I see a future with. In the meantime, I want to get laid, and I don't see the need to be fake monogamous when it's not a relationship.

And sure, relationship sex tends to be better (but not always). I see it like pizza. Yea, I'd love a wood-fired pizza from Naples. Delicious. But the local stuff ain't so bad. And even Pizza Hut will do in a pinch.

I personally found toys and soft porn more rewarding and less time consuming than mediocre dates sex and time spent with men I wasn’t very much into, or didn’t see a relationship material. I couldn’t even orgasm strongly with them and was bored.
But I don’t eat junk in general. Very busy and have limited time that I only spend on people who mean something to me

That's great that works for you! But personally, I don't enjoy toys or porn that much. I prefer a human. I can tell early on if there's chemistry, and we talk about sex quite a bit before having it, so I don't have much boring sex. Communication is key.

I guess the number of men you have chemistry with is much higher than for me. I was into /wanted to sleep with 3 persons in 4 years. And if I feel they are not into me or not relationship material (and they could be perfectly fine, just no passion), I mentally check out and don’t want to invest my time into it. I keep looking and spend time solo/family and friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried it as a woman and it just felt like getting a lot of low quality sex with people who didn’t really care much about each other. And when I truly like a man, i never want to sleep with someone else. It’s very, very rare I would even be attracted to someone that much to sleep with them . Maybe in 20-30s a woman scan meet tons of attractive men to sort with, but 70% 40-50s men are not sexually attractive to me.

If a woman or a man enjoys this they are likely non monogamous.

I'm a woman who enjoys FWB/hookups. I don't want to commit to just any man, so I'd rather wait for one I see a future with. In the meantime, I want to get laid, and I don't see the need to be fake monogamous when it's not a relationship.

And sure, relationship sex tends to be better (but not always). I see it like pizza. Yea, I'd love a wood-fired pizza from Naples. Delicious. But the local stuff ain't so bad. And even Pizza Hut will do in a pinch.

I personally found toys and soft porn more rewarding and less time consuming than mediocre dates sex and time spent with men I wasn’t very much into, or didn’t see a relationship material. I couldn’t even orgasm strongly with them and was bored.
But I don’t eat junk in general. Very busy and have limited time that I only spend on people who mean something to me

That's great that works for you! But personally, I don't enjoy toys or porn that much. I prefer a human. I can tell early on if there's chemistry, and we talk about sex quite a bit before having it, so I don't have much boring sex. Communication is key.

I don’t enjoy using a human as my toy . Either way one person would be more into another with that, hurt feelings etc. I know, I tried

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried it as a woman and it just felt like getting a lot of low quality sex with people who didn’t really care much about each other. And when I truly like a man, i never want to sleep with someone else. It’s very, very rare I would even be attracted to someone that much to sleep with them . Maybe in 20-30s a woman scan meet tons of attractive men to sort with, but 70% 40-50s men are not sexually attractive to me.

If a woman or a man enjoys this they are likely non monogamous.

I'm a woman who enjoys FWB/hookups. I don't want to commit to just any man, so I'd rather wait for one I see a future with. In the meantime, I want to get laid, and I don't see the need to be fake monogamous when it's not a relationship.

And sure, relationship sex tends to be better (but not always). I see it like pizza. Yea, I'd love a wood-fired pizza from Naples. Delicious. But the local stuff ain't so bad. And even Pizza Hut will do in a pinch.

I personally found toys and soft porn more rewarding and less time consuming than mediocre dates sex and time spent with men I wasn’t very much into, or didn’t see a relationship material. I couldn’t even orgasm strongly with them and was bored.
But I don’t eat junk in general. Very busy and have limited time that I only spend on people who mean something to me

That's great that works for you! But personally, I don't enjoy toys or porn that much. I prefer a human. I can tell early on if there's chemistry, and we talk about sex quite a bit before having it, so I don't have much boring sex. Communication is key.

I guess the number of men you have chemistry with is much higher than for me. I was into /wanted to sleep with 3 persons in 4 years. And if I feel they are not into me or not relationship material (and they could be perfectly fine, just no passion), I mentally check out and don’t want to invest my time into it. I keep looking and spend time solo/family and friends

Probably! I have a pretty high sex drive. I’m also pretty social so I’m around a lot of men. I definitely couldn’t have sex just 3 times in 4 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried it as a woman and it just felt like getting a lot of low quality sex with people who didn’t really care much about each other. And when I truly like a man, i never want to sleep with someone else. It’s very, very rare I would even be attracted to someone that much to sleep with them . Maybe in 20-30s a woman scan meet tons of attractive men to sort with, but 70% 40-50s men are not sexually attractive to me.

If a woman or a man enjoys this they are likely non monogamous.

I'm a woman who enjoys FWB/hookups. I don't want to commit to just any man, so I'd rather wait for one I see a future with. In the meantime, I want to get laid, and I don't see the need to be fake monogamous when it's not a relationship.

And sure, relationship sex tends to be better (but not always). I see it like pizza. Yea, I'd love a wood-fired pizza from Naples. Delicious. But the local stuff ain't so bad. And even Pizza Hut will do in a pinch.

I personally found toys and soft porn more rewarding and less time consuming than mediocre dates sex and time spent with men I wasn’t very much into, or didn’t see a relationship material. I couldn’t even orgasm strongly with them and was bored.
But I don’t eat junk in general. Very busy and have limited time that I only spend on people who mean something to me

That's great that works for you! But personally, I don't enjoy toys or porn that much. I prefer a human. I can tell early on if there's chemistry, and we talk about sex quite a bit before having it, so I don't have much boring sex. Communication is key.

I don’t enjoy using a human as my toy . Either way one person would be more into another with that, hurt feelings etc. I know, I tried

That happens sometimes, that’s why I make sure to always communicate so we’re always on the same page. If feelings develop we just talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried it as a woman and it just felt like getting a lot of low quality sex with people who didn’t really care much about each other. And when I truly like a man, i never want to sleep with someone else. It’s very, very rare I would even be attracted to someone that much to sleep with them . Maybe in 20-30s a woman scan meet tons of attractive men to sort with, but 70% 40-50s men are not sexually attractive to me.

If a woman or a man enjoys this they are likely non monogamous.

I'm a woman who enjoys FWB/hookups. I don't want to commit to just any man, so I'd rather wait for one I see a future with. In the meantime, I want to get laid, and I don't see the need to be fake monogamous when it's not a relationship.

And sure, relationship sex tends to be better (but not always). I see it like pizza. Yea, I'd love a wood-fired pizza from Naples. Delicious. But the local stuff ain't so bad. And even Pizza Hut will do in a pinch.

I personally found toys and soft porn more rewarding and less time consuming than mediocre dates sex and time spent with men I wasn’t very much into, or didn’t see a relationship material. I couldn’t even orgasm strongly with them and was bored.
But I don’t eat junk in general. Very busy and have limited time that I only spend on people who mean something to me

That's great that works for you! But personally, I don't enjoy toys or porn that much. I prefer a human. I can tell early on if there's chemistry, and we talk about sex quite a bit before having it, so I don't have much boring sex. Communication is key.

I guess the number of men you have chemistry with is much higher than for me. I was into /wanted to sleep with 3 persons in 4 years. And if I feel they are not into me or not relationship material (and they could be perfectly fine, just no passion), I mentally check out and don’t want to invest my time into it. I keep looking and spend time solo/family and friends

Probably! I have a pretty high sex drive. I’m also pretty social so I’m around a lot of men. I definitely couldn’t have sex just 3 times in 4 years.

I was in relationships with 2 of them having sex waay more often than what I would get in casual dating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried it as a woman and it just felt like getting a lot of low quality sex with people who didn’t really care much about each other. And when I truly like a man, i never want to sleep with someone else. It’s very, very rare I would even be attracted to someone that much to sleep with them . Maybe in 20-30s a woman scan meet tons of attractive men to sort with, but 70% 40-50s men are not sexually attractive to me.

If a woman or a man enjoys this they are likely non monogamous.

I'm a woman who enjoys FWB/hookups. I don't want to commit to just any man, so I'd rather wait for one I see a future with. In the meantime, I want to get laid, and I don't see the need to be fake monogamous when it's not a relationship.

And sure, relationship sex tends to be better (but not always). I see it like pizza. Yea, I'd love a wood-fired pizza from Naples. Delicious. But the local stuff ain't so bad. And even Pizza Hut will do in a pinch.

I personally found toys and soft porn more rewarding and less time consuming than mediocre dates sex and time spent with men I wasn’t very much into, or didn’t see a relationship material. I couldn’t even orgasm strongly with them and was bored.
But I don’t eat junk in general. Very busy and have limited time that I only spend on people who mean something to me

That's great that works for you! But personally, I don't enjoy toys or porn that much. I prefer a human. I can tell early on if there's chemistry, and we talk about sex quite a bit before having it, so I don't have much boring sex. Communication is key.

I guess the number of men you have chemistry with is much higher than for me. I was into /wanted to sleep with 3 persons in 4 years. And if I feel they are not into me or not relationship material (and they could be perfectly fine, just no passion), I mentally check out and don’t want to invest my time into it. I keep looking and spend time solo/family and friends

Probably! I have a pretty high sex drive. I’m also pretty social so I’m around a lot of men. I definitely couldn’t have sex just 3 times in 4 years.

That, or maybe just not very picky

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried it as a woman and it just felt like getting a lot of low quality sex with people who didn’t really care much about each other. And when I truly like a man, i never want to sleep with someone else. It’s very, very rare I would even be attracted to someone that much to sleep with them . Maybe in 20-30s a woman scan meet tons of attractive men to sort with, but 70% 40-50s men are not sexually attractive to me.

If a woman or a man enjoys this they are likely non monogamous.

I'm a woman who enjoys FWB/hookups. I don't want to commit to just any man, so I'd rather wait for one I see a future with. In the meantime, I want to get laid, and I don't see the need to be fake monogamous when it's not a relationship.

And sure, relationship sex tends to be better (but not always). I see it like pizza. Yea, I'd love a wood-fired pizza from Naples. Delicious. But the local stuff ain't so bad. And even Pizza Hut will do in a pinch.

I personally found toys and soft porn more rewarding and less time consuming than mediocre dates sex and time spent with men I wasn’t very much into, or didn’t see a relationship material. I couldn’t even orgasm strongly with them and was bored.
But I don’t eat junk in general. Very busy and have limited time that I only spend on people who mean something to me

That's great that works for you! But personally, I don't enjoy toys or porn that much. I prefer a human. I can tell early on if there's chemistry, and we talk about sex quite a bit before having it, so I don't have much boring sex. Communication is key.

I guess the number of men you have chemistry with is much higher than for me. I was into /wanted to sleep with 3 persons in 4 years. And if I feel they are not into me or not relationship material (and they could be perfectly fine, just no passion), I mentally check out and don’t want to invest my time into it. I keep looking and spend time solo/family and friends

Probably! I have a pretty high sex drive. I’m also pretty social so I’m around a lot of men. I definitely couldn’t have sex just 3 times in 4 years.

I was in relationships with 2 of them having sex waay more often than what I would get in casual dating

Pretty obvious you have more sex in a relationship than single, yea? The point is just to have some fun and scratch the itch! Way better than being celibate while you’re looking for the one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried it as a woman and it just felt like getting a lot of low quality sex with people who didn’t really care much about each other. And when I truly like a man, i never want to sleep with someone else. It’s very, very rare I would even be attracted to someone that much to sleep with them . Maybe in 20-30s a woman scan meet tons of attractive men to sort with, but 70% 40-50s men are not sexually attractive to me.

If a woman or a man enjoys this they are likely non monogamous.

I'm a woman who enjoys FWB/hookups. I don't want to commit to just any man, so I'd rather wait for one I see a future with. In the meantime, I want to get laid, and I don't see the need to be fake monogamous when it's not a relationship.

And sure, relationship sex tends to be better (but not always). I see it like pizza. Yea, I'd love a wood-fired pizza from Naples. Delicious. But the local stuff ain't so bad. And even Pizza Hut will do in a pinch.

I personally found toys and soft porn more rewarding and less time consuming than mediocre dates sex and time spent with men I wasn’t very much into, or didn’t see a relationship material. I couldn’t even orgasm strongly with them and was bored.
But I don’t eat junk in general. Very busy and have limited time that I only spend on people who mean something to me

That's great that works for you! But personally, I don't enjoy toys or porn that much. I prefer a human. I can tell early on if there's chemistry, and we talk about sex quite a bit before having it, so I don't have much boring sex. Communication is key.

I guess the number of men you have chemistry with is much higher than for me. I was into /wanted to sleep with 3 persons in 4 years. And if I feel they are not into me or not relationship material (and they could be perfectly fine, just no passion), I mentally check out and don’t want to invest my time into it. I keep looking and spend time solo/family and friends

Probably! I have a pretty high sex drive. I’m also pretty social so I’m around a lot of men. I definitely couldn’t have sex just 3 times in 4 years.

That, or maybe just not very picky

I mean, you should be WAY more picky about who you commit to than FWB. Commitment is a big deal and it sucks to waste months or years on the wrong person. FWB, if they’re hot and fun, that’s all that really matters. No sense in going sexless for a long time while you date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried it as a woman and it just felt like getting a lot of low quality sex with people who didn’t really care much about each other. And when I truly like a man, i never want to sleep with someone else. It’s very, very rare I would even be attracted to someone that much to sleep with them . Maybe in 20-30s a woman scan meet tons of attractive men to sort with, but 70% 40-50s men are not sexually attractive to me.

If a woman or a man enjoys this they are likely non monogamous.

I'm a woman who enjoys FWB/hookups. I don't want to commit to just any man, so I'd rather wait for one I see a future with. In the meantime, I want to get laid, and I don't see the need to be fake monogamous when it's not a relationship.

And sure, relationship sex tends to be better (but not always). I see it like pizza. Yea, I'd love a wood-fired pizza from Naples. Delicious. But the local stuff ain't so bad. And even Pizza Hut will do in a pinch.

I personally found toys and soft porn more rewarding and less time consuming than mediocre dates sex and time spent with men I wasn’t very much into, or didn’t see a relationship material. I couldn’t even orgasm strongly with them and was bored.
But I don’t eat junk in general. Very busy and have limited time that I only spend on people who mean something to me

That's great that works for you! But personally, I don't enjoy toys or porn that much. I prefer a human. I can tell early on if there's chemistry, and we talk about sex quite a bit before having it, so I don't have much boring sex. Communication is key.

I guess the number of men you have chemistry with is much higher than for me. I was into /wanted to sleep with 3 persons in 4 years. And if I feel they are not into me or not relationship material (and they could be perfectly fine, just no passion), I mentally check out and don’t want to invest my time into it. I keep looking and spend time solo/family and friends

Probably! I have a pretty high sex drive. I’m also pretty social so I’m around a lot of men. I definitely couldn’t have sex just 3 times in 4 years.

That, or maybe just not very picky

I mean, you should be WAY more picky about who you commit to than FWB. Commitment is a big deal and it sucks to waste months or years on the wrong person. FWB, if they’re hot and fun, that’s all that really matters. No sense in going sexless for a long time while you date.

Allowing a man access to my body, coming to my house is also a commitment. It would bring an inherent risk to my stability if I allowed unworthy people into the most intimate areas. It’s not like I would go hang out with them in a club once a month

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tried it as a woman and it just felt like getting a lot of low quality sex with people who didn’t really care much about each other. And when I truly like a man, i never want to sleep with someone else. It’s very, very rare I would even be attracted to someone that much to sleep with them . Maybe in 20-30s a woman scan meet tons of attractive men to sort with, but 70% 40-50s men are not sexually attractive to me.

If a woman or a man enjoys this they are likely non monogamous.

I'm a woman who enjoys FWB/hookups. I don't want to commit to just any man, so I'd rather wait for one I see a future with. In the meantime, I want to get laid, and I don't see the need to be fake monogamous when it's not a relationship.

And sure, relationship sex tends to be better (but not always). I see it like pizza. Yea, I'd love a wood-fired pizza from Naples. Delicious. But the local stuff ain't so bad. And even Pizza Hut will do in a pinch.

I personally found toys and soft porn more rewarding and less time consuming than mediocre dates sex and time spent with men I wasn’t very much into, or didn’t see a relationship material. I couldn’t even orgasm strongly with them and was bored.
But I don’t eat junk in general. Very busy and have limited time that I only spend on people who mean something to me

That's great that works for you! But personally, I don't enjoy toys or porn that much. I prefer a human. I can tell early on if there's chemistry, and we talk about sex quite a bit before having it, so I don't have much boring sex. Communication is key.

I guess the number of men you have chemistry with is much higher than for me. I was into /wanted to sleep with 3 persons in 4 years. And if I feel they are not into me or not relationship material (and they could be perfectly fine, just no passion), I mentally check out and don’t want to invest my time into it. I keep looking and spend time solo/family and friends

Probably! I have a pretty high sex drive. I’m also pretty social so I’m around a lot of men. I definitely couldn’t have sex just 3 times in 4 years.

That, or maybe just not very picky

I mean, you should be WAY more picky about who you commit to than FWB. Commitment is a big deal and it sucks to waste months or years on the wrong person. FWB, if they’re hot and fun, that’s all that really matters. No sense in going sexless for a long time while you date.

Allowing a man access to my body, coming to my house is also a commitment. It would bring an inherent risk to my stability if I allowed unworthy people into the most intimate areas. It’s not like I would go hang out with them in a club once a month

Hmmm not sure why we’re going back and forth on this? oP asked how it works for people with hookups and FWB. I do those and explained how I do it. Not everyone has to, in fact everyone is entitled to whatever sex life they want! If you like hookups, go for it! If you don’t, don’t! We should all have the fulfilling sex lives we want. I personally love sex too much to go very long without it.