Why is it so hard to meet moderate women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get along best with more moderate women that don’t stray too hard to either side of the aisle. Do these women exist?

Why is it that you get along best with "moderate women"? Is it that they do not challenge your perspectives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I both were "moderate" in the 2010s - voting more often for Republican candidates until the first Trump election. Since then we have swung completely to the left. There is no longer a line between financial and social conservatism on one end and financial and social liberalism/progressivism on the other, where people fall somewhere in between the ends for the most part.

I and many women I know are "moderate" in that I am married, straight, white, gender conforming, church going, mom of 3, blonde, have lots of things to talk about besides politics, think my DH and plenty of other men are wonderful, have plenty of beliefs that do not align 100% with, say, AOC. But "moderate" in politics is an oxymoron these days.

Were you born a "moderate" or fid you have to dye it to become one?

I always appreciate posters like PP who say the quiet part out loud. I can’t be radical - I’m blonde and married to a white guy!

[Anonymous]

Define moderate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I both were "moderate" in the 2010s - voting more often for Republican candidates until the first Trump election. Since then we have swung completely to the left. There is no longer a line between financial and social conservatism on one end and financial and social liberalism/progressivism on the other, where people fall somewhere in between the ends for the most part.

I and many women I know are "moderate" in that I am married, straight, white, gender conforming, church going, mom of 3, blonde, have lots of things to talk about besides politics, think my DH and plenty of other men are wonderful, have plenty of beliefs that do not align 100% with, say, AOC. But "moderate" in politics is an oxymoron these days.

Were you born a "moderate" or fid you have to dye it to become one?

Lol. I meant I do not have blue or pink hair or whatever trope people use about "liberals" these days. I am a perfectly nondescript woman who doesn't have bumper stickers on my car or wear slogans about the patriarchy or "look" one way or the other. And thank you very much, I have been "moderate" since I bought my first box of L'oreal in 10th grade.

[Anonymous]

I’ve always considered myself moderate and I’ve voted for both Democrats and Republicans, depending on who I think will do the best job. It drives me crazy that extremist views are getting the most attention. I think illegal immigration was out of control and has been for decades - with both Democrats and Republicans at fault. I don’t care who you love or who you marry and I think abortion should be legal but rare. Every child born should be wanted and able to be supported by its parents and by family-friendly policies like universal healthcare. That would fix a lot of our social problems. Republicans don’t seem to care about people after they’re born, but Democrats embrace the victim mentality over personal responsibility. Reality lies in the middle. We need candidates who aren’t MAGA or Radical Left. Bring back the boring, but capable and not crazy, middle.

[Anonymous]

Most women get more liberal as they get older… and the ones who started out far enough to the right to now be “moderate” got married in their 20s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I both were "moderate" in the 2010s - voting more often for Republican candidates until the first Trump election. Since then we have swung completely to the left. There is no longer a line between financial and social conservatism on one end and financial and social liberalism/progressivism on the other, where people fall somewhere in between the ends for the most part.

I and many women I know are "moderate" in that I am married, straight, white, gender conforming, church going, mom of 3, blonde, have lots of things to talk about besides politics, think my DH and plenty of other men are wonderful, have plenty of beliefs that do not align 100% with, say, AOC. But "moderate" in politics is an oxymoron these days.

Were you born a "moderate" or fid you have to dye it to become one?

Lol. I meant I do not have blue or pink hair or whatever trope people use about "liberals" these days. I am a perfectly nondescript woman who doesn't have bumper stickers on my car or wear slogans about the patriarchy or "look" one way or the other. And thank you very much, I have been "moderate" since I bought my first box of L'oreal in 10th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Define moderate.

Thinks abortion is clearly wrong.
Doesn’t like Trump at all and hates the hypocrisy of the administration.
Is OK with people having guns but still sees them as a massive problem in our country that we need to do something about.
Thinks it’s OK to challenge and question widely accepted science instead of taking everything we’re told as dogma.
Prefers a strong border and tough on crime mentality.
Thinks we should love everyone including LGBT community; yes gay people should be able to get married.
Climate change is a serious problem.
Belief in God / higher power.
Need to cut the deficit somehow and find a more fiscally responsible path.

We’ve just been too polarized to toe the party line on everything instead of viewing everything with nuance. So it’s a challenge when it comes to finding the right partner in dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In this day and age "moderate" means republican. When your civil rights are being stripped, it's difficult to remain in the middle. You are either brain washed or fighting. There's very little middle ground.

Exactly!

heres the "moderate"

[Anonymous]

Overton's Window f#cked your dating prospects. Sad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Define moderate.

Thinks abortion is clearly wrong.
Doesn’t like Trump at all and hates the hypocrisy of the administration.
Is OK with people having guns but still sees them as a massive problem in our country that we need to do something about.
Thinks it’s OK to challenge and question widely accepted science instead of taking everything we’re told as dogma.
Prefers a strong border and tough on crime mentality.
Thinks we should love everyone including LGBT community; yes gay people should be able to get married.
Climate change is a serious problem.
Belief in God / higher power.
Need to cut the deficit somehow and find a more fiscally responsible path.

We’ve just been too polarized to toe the party line on everything instead of viewing everything with nuance. So it’s a challenge when it comes to finding the right partner in dating.

Several of those things are not moderate at all. Notably the positions on abortion, science, and “tough on crime.” Those are all pretty radical right-wing mindsets held by people who hate America and everything it stands for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Define moderate.

Thinks abortion is clearly wrong.
Doesn’t like Trump at all and hates the hypocrisy of the administration.
Is OK with people having guns but still sees them as a massive problem in our country that we need to do something about.
Thinks it’s OK to challenge and question widely accepted science instead of taking everything we’re told as dogma.
Prefers a strong border and tough on crime mentality.
Thinks we should love everyone including LGBT community; yes gay people should be able to get married.
Climate change is a serious problem.
Belief in God / higher power.
Need to cut the deficit somehow and find a more fiscally responsible path.

We’ve just been too polarized to toe the party line on everything instead of viewing everything with nuance. So it’s a challenge when it comes to finding the right partner in dating.

You listed abortion first so I assume that is important to you.

As someone who used to attend an Evangelical church, let me tell you that the first led to people who didn't like Trump voting for him anyway. "Holding our noses while we vote..."

They don't care that any of the other things you listed are taken away. I'll be honest. They don't really want a democracy. And if they are hooked into the right FOX News channel and social media algorithm, you could train them to say red is blue.

So you want a "moderate" woman? You are dealing with someone who has left reality behind

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I both were "moderate" in the 2010s - voting more often for Republican candidates until the first Trump election. Since then we have swung completely to the left. There is no longer a line between financial and social conservatism on one end and financial and social liberalism/progressivism on the other, where people fall somewhere in between the ends for the most part.

I and many women I know are "moderate" in that I am married, straight, white, gender conforming, church going, mom of 3, blonde, have lots of things to talk about besides politics, think my DH and plenty of other men are wonderful, have plenty of beliefs that do not align 100% with, say, AOC. But "moderate" in politics is an oxymoron these days.

+1000

I stopped voting for Republicans in 2016 but I would have always called myself moderate/conservative leaning (fiscally, not socially). Now I'm left. There is no middle to be in anymore.

[Anonymous]

A couple things

1. A pp was right that a lot are probably married. I'm in my 30s and would have considered myself moderate and most of my friends as well. We all got married in our 20s

2. I don't consider myself moderate in this day and age. While there are Democratic beliefs I don't agree with, the MAGA part of things has basically made it so that I won't support anything Republican. Before Trump, it would have been different.

3. I think a lot of people don't want to discuss politics, especially with someone they don't know well. It's such a hot topic right now and there are rabid/dangerous people on both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Define moderate.

Thinks abortion is clearly wrong.
Doesn’t like Trump at all and hates the hypocrisy of the administration.
Is OK with people having guns but still sees them as a massive problem in our country that we need to do something about.
Thinks it’s OK to challenge and question widely accepted science instead of taking everything we’re told as dogma.
Prefers a strong border and tough on crime mentality.
Thinks we should love everyone including LGBT community; yes gay people should be able to get married.
Climate change is a serious problem.
Belief in God / higher power.
Need to cut the deficit somehow and find a more fiscally responsible path.

We’ve just been too polarized to toe the party line on everything instead of viewing everything with nuance. So it’s a challenge when it comes to finding the right partner in dating.

You are talking about a traditional woman with some progressive social ideas. Which is fine. But you are having a hard time finding moderate women defined thusly because this is not moderate.

"Strong border, tough on crime" is code for racist and xenophobic. "Fiscally responsible" is code for cutting social programs. Your line about abortion, in 2025, is absolutely not a moderate position. I'm in no way a moderate woman, though. I would assume a man looking for this list of political stances is going to be a controlling misogynist.