Question about grandparents' time with grandkids—fair or unbalanced?

[Anonymous]

Grandparents are damned if they do and damned if they don’t.

[Anonymous]

The grandparents are saints and you’re trying to see them as sinners.

[Anonymous]

Someone is getting a lot of free childcare. You, Op?

[Anonymous]

If either of the parents is complaining about any of these, they suck. The grandparents are paying a lot of attention to both sets of kids. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the grandparents can spend their time howevero they want once they are issued an invitation? If it’s important to the kid they can say “hey gran can you please come to my game this weekend?” I do not see what fair has to do with it. As an adult I know life isn’t fair and to ask for what I want.

So you are ok with grandparents showing favoritism to your child? I’m not.

If there’s favoritism it’s toward the beneficiaries of all that babysitting so I must be confused about what you’re getting at.

+1

Games are for the enjoyment of the children playing them.

Parents create the expectations (or not) around the emotional significance of spectator attendance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If either of the parents is complaining about any of these, they suck. The grandparents are paying a lot of attention to both sets of kids. Move on.

+1

[Anonymous]

I assume the sports watching is shorthand for "spending time with other set of grandkids on weekends, regardless of the activity"?

If so, yes, it's fair. Otherwise, I agree that the kids who are watched at home on weekdays are getting more interaction.

[Anonymous]

The ones needing after school childcare are obviously still elementary age. I am guessing the other kids are older. The ones who have weekend activities should be prioritized on weekends or else grandparents wouldn’t see them at all, but if the childcare kids have something on the weekend that is at a different time, they can ask grandparents to attend.

[Anonymous]

Do you want to give up free childcare in exchange for "fair" alternating weekends of sports watching?

I thought not.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter if it's fair or not. The grandparents can do whatever they want with their time. There's nothing worse than taking care of kids, especially not one's own, except maybe watching their boring sports games. These grandparents should get some credit for doing both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for outside perspective on this family dynamic (all kids and grandparents live locally):

The grandparents have two adult children. Each adult child has two kids

2–3 afternoons a week, the grandmother watches one set of grandchildren after school (they’re dropped off by one parent and picked up by the other after work)

Every weekend, the grandparents attend the other set of grandchildren’s sports games in the morning

As a result, they rarely or never attend the sports games of the grandkids they watch during the week

From an outside point of view, is this a fair balance of time and support? Or would you expect them to make more effort to attend the games of the grandkids they see during the week? Not looking to start drama, just curious what others think is reasonable or typical.

You are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for outside perspective on this family dynamic (all kids and grandparents live locally):

The grandparents have two adult children. Each adult child has two kids

2–3 afternoons a week, the grandmother watches one set of grandchildren after school (they’re dropped off by one parent and picked up by the other after work)

Every weekend, the grandparents attend the other set of grandchildren’s sports games in the morning

As a result, they rarely or never attend the sports games of the grandkids they watch during the week

From an outside point of view, is this a fair balance of time and support? Or would you expect them to make more effort to attend the games of the grandkids they see during the week? Not looking to start drama, just curious what others think is reasonable or typical.

Wtf.
One adult kid family is getting free aftercare and the other adult kid family gets some game attendances?
And things only ONE set of grandparents doing this? What does the other one do since locals

Either way doesn’t matter. It’s all fair, even if they do nothing.

How old are the kids even?

[Anonymous]

How many sets of LOCAL grandparents doing your kids have OP? 1,2,3,4?

What’s the issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if some of the kids don't DO sports? Maybe there's nothing to watch. And honestly, if you're watching a game, you're not spending time WITH the kid - you're watching them spend time with other kids. So the quality time is happening with the kids being dropped off at their house - they're getting the better deal.

+1

[Anonymous]

1. The grandparents are free to do what they want.
2. The ones receiving after school care are the ones that actually get quality time with their grandparents. Not to mention, it’s a lot easier on the parents.
3. The children playing sports will have memories of seeing their grandparents at their soccer game, but that does not compare to getting three afternoons each week with grandparents where they probably play games and bake and do arts and crafts.
It’s ridiculous that you’re trying to determine what is “fair” in the scenario.