Question about grandparents' time with grandkids—fair or unbalanced?

[Anonymous]

Looking for outside perspective on this family dynamic (all kids and grandparents live locally):

The grandparents have two adult children. Each adult child has two kids

2–3 afternoons a week, the grandmother watches one set of grandchildren after school (they’re dropped off by one parent and picked up by the other after work)

Every weekend, the grandparents attend the other set of grandchildren’s sports games in the morning

As a result, they rarely or never attend the sports games of the grandkids they watch during the week

From an outside point of view, is this a fair balance of time and support? Or would you expect them to make more effort to attend the games of the grandkids they see during the week? Not looking to start drama, just curious what others think is reasonable or typical.

[Anonymous]

Give these grandparents a gold medal give whoever is asking this question a one way ticket to Antarctica.

[Anonymous]

Fair. They see the other kids during the week. If those parents want to end the weekday visits/help then they could make an argument for alternating weekends.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the grandparents can spend their time however they want once they are issued an invitation? If it’s important to the kid they can say “hey gran can you please come to my game this weekend?” I do not see what fair has to do with it. As an adult I know life isn’t fair and to ask for what I want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the grandparents can spend their time however they want once they are issued an invitation? If it’s important to the kid they can say “hey gran can you please come to my game this weekend?” I do not see what fair has to do with it. As an adult I know life isn’t fair and to ask for what I want.

What if both grandchildren extend the invite at the same time, for the same time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the grandparents can spend their time however they want once they are issued an invitation? If it’s important to the kid they can say “hey gran can you please come to my game this weekend?” I do not see what fair has to do with it. As an adult I know life isn’t fair and to ask for what I want.

So you are ok with grandparents showing favoritism to your child? I’m not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give these grandparents a gold medal give whoever is asking this question a one way ticket to Antarctica.

+1

[Anonymous]

There is nothing more annoying than "hosting" my parents at a kids sports game. Jealous of you OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the grandparents can spend their time howevero they want once they are issued an invitation? If it’s important to the kid they can say “hey gran can you please come to my game this weekend?” I do not see what fair has to do with it. As an adult I know life isn’t fair and to ask for what I want.

So you are ok with grandparents showing favoritism to your child? I’m not.

If there’s favoritism it’s toward the beneficiaries of all that babysitting so I must be confused about what you’re getting at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the grandparents can spend their time however they want once they are issued an invitation? If it’s important to the kid they can say “hey gran can you please come to my game this weekend?” I do not see what fair has to do with it. As an adult I know life isn’t fair and to ask for what I want.

So you are ok with grandparents showing favoritism to your child? I’m not.

How is it favoritism? If anything, the family with the thrice weekly babysitting are the favored, and should get over themselves and allow the other family some time on the weekends, or find paid babysitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the grandparents can spend their time howevero they want once they are issued an invitation? If it’s important to the kid they can say “hey gran can you please come to my game this weekend?” I do not see what fair has to do with it. As an adult I know life isn’t fair and to ask for what I want.

So you are ok with grandparents showing favoritism to your child? I’m not.

Person you quoted. We are in agreement. Family getting the babysitting has no right to be upset about the weekends.
If there’s favoritism it’s toward the beneficiaries of all that babysitting so I must be confused about what you’re getting at.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the grandparents can spend their time however they want once they are issued an invitation? If it’s important to the kid they can say “hey gran can you please come to my game this weekend?” I do not see what fair has to do with it. As an adult I know life isn’t fair and to ask for what I want.

So you are ok with grandparents showing favoritism to your child? I’m not.

How is it favoritism? If anything, the family with the thrice weekly babysitting are the favored, and should get over themselves and allow the other family some time on the weekends, or find paid babysitting.

I was misunderstood. We are in agreement. Family getting the babysitting has no right to be upset about the weekends.

[Anonymous]

Omg these grandparents are amazing. We have grandparents nearby and they've never come to a sports game on the weekend, although they do babysit after school and sometimes on thr weekends. And I appreciate that so much.
Growing up, my cousins got more time with our grandparents and I was jealous but eventually got over it. There's no way for grandparents' time to be completely fair with multiple grandchildren.
Kudos to them for going to any kid sport games.

[Anonymous]

Just out of curiosity, what are the ages of each set of grandkids? If one set is 10-13 years old and the other set is 6-9 years old, it makes sense to babysit the younger ones and prioritize the extracurricular activities of the older ones.

[Anonymous]

What if some of the kids don't DO sports? Maybe there's nothing to watch. And honestly, if you're watching a game, you're not spending time WITH the kid - you're watching them spend time with other kids. So the quality time is happening with the kids being dropped off at their house - they're getting the better deal.