When and how can you ask your furloughed spouse to do work around the house?

[Anonymous]

The when is 5 am.

The how is by banging two metal garbage can lids together accompanied by these verbal instructions:

GET YOUR LAZY ASS OUT OF BED NOW

SHOWER

SHAVE

SLAP ON SOME OLD SPICE

PLUG IN THE HOOVER

AND VACUUM EVERY DAMN RUG IN THIS HOUSE !

Please.

[Anonymous]

This used to be an interesting site

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean daily stuff (laundry, dinner, pick up the kids) or big projects?

I think it's totally fine to ask for more help with the daily stuff, although I wouldn't say "it's all yours now" and just completely walk away. I'm furloughed and I'm doing more of that than normal, but haven't taken on 100% of my DH's responsibilities. He's still a parent and it's still a 2 person job.

For big projects, I'd tread carefully. We don't know how long this will last. I've tried to do some decluttering and consignment, and I hate it SO MUCH that I have had to work out hard to calm down after. It makes me mad that I'm spending so many hours trying to make pennies like some poor tradwife instead of using my actual skills to earn our real income.

Your last sentence is offensive to SAHMs and stupid — you’ll be getting back pay if you’re a fed and you’re paid more for the same job if you’re a contractor.

[Anonymous]

Your dh is lazy. We are dual furloughed spouses. We’ve already divvied up kid duties. Every other day we take the kids to school and trade off who picks them up. (Previously I got to work at 6 and dh took them all to school. Now one of us can sleep in). We’ve been scrubbing the house down room by room and there’s a lot of things being fixed. We made lists each week of what we will get done.

To be fair, dh and I love working around the house. It’s basically our hobby and we love having extra time. Wish we could go on vacation but kids are in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean daily stuff (laundry, dinner, pick up the kids) or big projects?

I think it's totally fine to ask for more help with the daily stuff, although I wouldn't say "it's all yours now" and just completely walk away. I'm furloughed and I'm doing more of that than normal, but haven't taken on 100% of my DH's responsibilities. He's still a parent and it's still a 2 person job.

For big projects, I'd tread carefully. We don't know how long this will last. I've tried to do some decluttering and consignment, and I hate it SO MUCH that I have had to work out hard to calm down after. It makes me mad that I'm spending so many hours trying to make pennies like some poor tradwife instead of using my actual skills to earn our real income.

Your last sentence is offensive to SAHMs and stupid — you’ll be getting back pay if you’re a fed and you’re paid more for the same job if you’re a contractor.

She doesn’t speak for all feds. I love selling at consignment. I also like buying there too. I appreciate the work that goes into it.

[Anonymous]

Watch “Mr. Mom” together with him. It is one of my favorite movies. Michael Keaton is a treasure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do I bring this up without getting into a fight? I have waited to see what he would do, and apparently, that answer is - he will do absolutely NOTHING. I'm still working fulltime and going in-office and taking care of everything the kids need.

This loser never did anything before

[Anonymous]

Cut that ivory into skinny pieces

[Anonymous]

Tell his a$$ now. “Get up and do work around here.”

[Anonymous]

Why do you feel like you can’t ask him?

This seems like such a simple request to me. It would never occur to me not to be able to ask my husband to do something.

“ hey since you’ll be home, can you please run a few loads of laundry to the wash and take those toys to the donation center?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean daily stuff (laundry, dinner, pick up the kids) or big projects?

I think it's totally fine to ask for more help with the daily stuff, although I wouldn't say "it's all yours now" and just completely walk away. I'm furloughed and I'm doing more of that than normal, but haven't taken on 100% of my DH's responsibilities. He's still a parent and it's still a 2 person job.

For big projects, I'd tread carefully. We don't know how long this will last. I've tried to do some decluttering and consignment, and I hate it SO MUCH that I have had to work out hard to calm down after. It makes me mad that I'm spending so many hours trying to make pennies like some poor tradwife instead of using my actual skills to earn our real income.

Well, you chose consignment. I chose investing. I turned $30k into $300k in 5 years. Now I have a new skill and I'm not going back to work.
Had consignment taught you anything? You seem frustrated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't even have to ask, or post here with such a timid title. The dynamic has deeper problems.

Most furloughed dads I know are taking over the daily kid logistics and doing some cooking and other house stuff.

This, but I know so many people who would sit around and do minimum.

[Anonymous]

Leave a list! I am furloughed and I have created my own list. I have already cleaned out the basement, planted new shrubs, and laid down seed on the lawn. I hate being bored. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you mean daily stuff (laundry, dinner, pick up the kids) or big projects?

I think it's totally fine to ask for more help with the daily stuff, although I wouldn't say "it's all yours now" and just completely walk away. I'm furloughed and I'm doing more of that than normal, but haven't taken on 100% of my DH's responsibilities. He's still a parent and it's still a 2 person job.

For big projects, I'd tread carefully. We don't know how long this will last. I've tried to do some decluttering and consignment, and I hate it SO MUCH that I have had to work out hard to calm down after. It makes me mad that I'm spending so many hours trying to make pennies like some poor tradwife instead of using my actual skills to earn our real income.

Get over yourself. Your "skills" aren't so special that you can't work on a house project. Perhaps it's even something you need to do more of since you find it so challenging? You must need more practice.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe this loser never did anything before