Teen struggling with male gaze

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She talks to you about how he is looking at her?

My daughter would talk to me about this for sure, not weird at all if you have a close relationship as daughter/mother.

[Anonymous]

I think she can retaliate by casually mentioning that Larlo is a creepy stare-boy in various social settings. Like it's common knowledge.

[Anonymous]

She can’t do a thing about it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should learn to stare right back at him, but with a scowl.

If he gets creepier, teach her to take up space and be loud. Creepy men are empowered by SHAME. She can wear what she wants and he needs to mind his business.

Seems like you're being a little harsh on what could be a totally normal 12 year old boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should learn to stare right back at him, but with a scowl.

If he gets creepier, teach her to take up space and be loud. Creepy men are empowered by SHAME. She can wear what she wants and he needs to mind his business.

Seems like you're being a little harsh on what could be a totally normal 12 year old boy.

It's not normal though. She's not complaining about all the boys, she's just complaining about this one. He needs to develop some manners and social skills, and pay attention to his classes. Imagine that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should learn to stare right back at him, but with a scowl.

If he gets creepier, teach her to take up space and be loud. Creepy men are empowered by SHAME. She can wear what she wants and he needs to mind his business.

Seems like you're being a little harsh on what could be a totally normal 12 year old boy.

It's not normal though. She's not complaining about all the boys, she's just complaining about this one. He needs to develop some manners and social skills, and pay attention to his classes. Imagine that.

What, exactly, is he doing? I want to be on your side, but looking’s not a crime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She should learn to stare right back at him, but with a scowl.

If he gets creepier, teach her to take up space and be loud. Creepy men are empowered by SHAME. She can wear what she wants and he needs to mind his business.

Seems like you're being a little harsh on what could be a totally normal 12 year old boy.

It's not normal though. She's not complaining about all the boys, she's just complaining about this one. He needs to develop some manners and social skills, and pay attention to his classes. Imagine that.

He will, but you’re trying to fight normal biology here. Just ignore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She talks to you about how he is looking at her?

My daughter would talk to me about this for sure, not weird at all if you have a close relationship as daughter/mother.

Ok, I have an incredibly close relationship with my daughters and neither would tell me "John is staring at me in class."
Something is off about this.

[Anonymous]

When men would lear at dd and her friend in malls and such, her friend would say "we're 15, gross".

It depends. She can block it by moving or casually reangling props like books/scribblers to block his looking.

She could point out facts "you're staring" in disgusted tones or facial expressions.

She could understand perspective that sometimes people stare and then keep staring without really meaning too because they've gone done thought roads that preoccupy them.

If she's getting the feeling that the guy is visually imagining her naked or other acts then it should be brought up with admin as guys willing to cross normal boundaries like that can be an assault risk. "Please be aware that xy is exhibiting abnormal behavior towards females in his class. It's happened to daughter and he acts similarly toward x, x and even their teacher. Daughter feels uncomfortable and unsafe when xy begins ___ (describe factually).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She talks to you about how he is looking at her?

My daughter would talk to me about this for sure, not weird at all if you have a close relationship as daughter/mother.

Ok, I have an incredibly close relationship with my daughters and neither would tell me "John is staring at me in class."
Something is off about this.

DP. Yes. You aren’t as close with your daughters as you think. But you knew that. Stay in your lane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She talks to you about how he is looking at her?

My daughter would talk to me about this for sure, not weird at all if you have a close relationship as daughter/mother.

Ok, I have an incredibly close relationship with my daughters and neither would tell me "John is staring at me in class."
Something is off about this.

I think what's off is that you actually don't have an incredibly close relationship. That's what that means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She talks to you about how he is looking at her?

My daughter would talk to me about this for sure, not weird at all if you have a close relationship as daughter/mother.

Ok, I have an incredibly close relationship with my daughters and neither would tell me "John is staring at me in class."
Something is off about this.

I think what's off is that you actually don't have an incredibly close relationship. That's what that means.

No, it's weird to be asking your mom to manage this. Really weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or is she imagining it and insecure about herself and projecting that everyone is looking at her?. I was that way at that age. So self conscious and insecure. It was a “me” problem.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She talks to you about how he is looking at her?

My daughter would talk to me about this for sure, not weird at all if you have a close relationship as daughter/mother.

Ok, I have an incredibly close relationship with my daughters and neither would tell me "John is staring at me in class."
Something is off about this.

I think what's off is that you actually don't have an incredibly close relationship. That's what that means.

No, it's weird to be asking your mom to manage this. Really weird.

Reread the OP. The girl has not asked her mom to “manage this.” You’re making stuff up, which is pathetic of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She talks to you about how he is looking at her?

My daughter would talk to me about this for sure, not weird at all if you have a close relationship as daughter/mother.

Ok, I have an incredibly close relationship with my daughters and neither would tell me "John is staring at me in class."
Something is off about this.

My DD told me yesterday after work that some old guy told her she was really pretty, and another guy who was with his kids winked at her. She tells me these things not because she doesn't know how to manage the problem, but because she tells me things that happen in her life, including uncomfortable things.