Has your freshman made friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is all normal. In the beginning they glom on to anyone due to convenience and not be alone. They will all slowly start me more people in classes and clubs, and the groups will shift all year long.

This! I am almost 40 and I still remember the dynamic of these newly formed best friend groups and feeling kind of left out/adrift. I met my people and she will too!!

[Anonymous]

If rush is in the spring, she could consider it. There are also co-ed service fraternities, if that sounds more appealing. Also, club sports, theater, religious groups, music ensembles and similar groups would probably have more opportunities for socializing than a club that meets once per month. Even if they haven't started yet, just identifying what she's going to try first will probably help her get through this.

[Anonymous]

DS has not made any new friends yet. Still hanging out with some kids he knew from high school who weren't really friends in high school, just acquaintances. He's somewhat unhappy about it but realizes it's still early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine was so nervous about finding her people. She was looking forward to a roommate but assigned a single (I thought she won the lottery, she was initially skeptical) then missed pre-orientation because of work. She was more stressed about social acclimation than academic.

But the school did a fantastic job the first week with event after event designed to get the kids meeting one-another, her hall is filled with fun kids and she spent her first weekend exploring Boston with 4 or 5 of her new girlfriends.

We're all relieved!

''What school?

Tufts - she's very happy there so far!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS has not made any new friends yet. Still hanging out with some kids he knew from high school who weren't really friends in high school, just acquaintances. He's somewhat unhappy about it but realizes it's still early.

Did he sign up for rush? It’s the fastest and easiest way to find a tight group of people he can actually bond with, not just people he kills time with to avoid being in his dorm alone. Pledgeship breaks down walls and forces genuine friendships to form. There’s a reason fraternity men have lower transfer rates, higher graduation rates, and better grades. They’re simply happier and having a better college experience than GDIs.

[Anonymous]

Mine is struggling at Yale. Considering a transfer.

[Anonymous]

Mine seems to be finding friends at a huge state school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If rush is in the spring, she could consider it. There are also co-ed service fraternities, if that sounds more appealing. Also, club sports, theater, religious groups, music ensembles and similar groups would probably have more opportunities for socializing than a club that meets once per month. Even if they haven't started yet, just identifying what she's going to try first will probably help her get through this.

Agree!
Our kid did a theatre group that kept them very busy and it was social. Also rushed in the spring.

[Anonymous]

My kid seems to be living her best life. Orientation was 3 days where they split up the freshman class. Lots of ice breaking activities that week. She's also in a living learning community with built in social interactions for their floor.

For labor day, she and her friends went to the grocery store and purchased items to grill. Had a big cookout on the quad. Next day a different group of kids went out on a hike. I also ask where she meets the kids and it's either from orientation, sat next to the kid in a class, or from her dorm floor.

Makes me realize how important the social intergration aspect of college really is.

[Anonymous]

My daughter seems to be doing ok. She’s met a lot of kids on her dorm floor, and they all seem to be hanging out a lot right now. Like other people have said, I’m sure that will change once she meets people she has more in common with. She did text me that she missed me the other day which made me both sad and happy at the same time.

[Anonymous]

They’ve been there like two weeks. It may take months before they find the kind of friends that share goals and interests. It’s nice to have a group to do things with, most schools organize activities on weekends etc so they could join those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS has not made any new friends yet. Still hanging out with some kids he knew from high school who weren't really friends in high school, just acquaintances. He's somewhat unhappy about it but realizes it's still early.

Did he sign up for rush? It’s the fastest and easiest way to find a tight group of people he can actually bond with, not just people he kills time with to avoid being in his dorm alone. Pledgeship breaks down walls and forces genuine friendships to form. There’s a reason fraternity men have lower transfer rates, higher graduation rates, and better grades. They’re simply happier and having a better college experience than GDIs.

Rush is in the spring at his university.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid seems to be living her best life. Orientation was 3 days where they split up the freshman class. Lots of ice breaking activities that week. She's also in a living learning community with built in social interactions for their floor.

For labor day, she and her friends went to the grocery store and purchased items to grill. Had a big cookout on the quad. Next day a different group of kids went out on a hike. I also ask where she meets the kids and it's either from orientation, sat next to the kid in a class, or from her dorm floor.

Makes me realize how important the social intergration aspect of college really is.

what school is this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what school?

UVA

[Anonymous]

Just tell her to keep trying, go to every event and party, talk to everyone she meets (in class, dining hall, etc.). My DD did this last year as a freshman (Michigan) and made lots of "friends" and then took the time to figure out who she really wanted to develop real friendships with but it helped keep her from being lonely. And she rushed in the spring. Good luck - the transition is hard!