Has your freshman made friends?

[Anonymous]

Curious about what you're hearing from your freshman and if they're happy and feeling connected.
Mine is not and I am trying not to worry. I know it's early.
This is an historically very social kid who is finding that a large number of other girls are just not nice and will outright reject invitations to meet (dinner, coffee, etc)
Roommate is having a similar experience per the roommate's mom who I reached out to in desperation (wanting to know if what my kid was sharing was true or embellished for sympathy or ?) Turns out relayed the exact same things without me even suggesting them.
UGH.

[Anonymous]

60% of undergraduates reported some occasional feelings of loneliness in their first semester, across the board.

This is normal. Give it time.

[Anonymous]

People are allowed to say no to an invitation. That doesn’t make them mean. It might mean they’re shy or your kid is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious about what you're hearing from your freshman and if they're happy and feeling connected.
Mine is not and I am trying not to worry. I know it's early.
This is an historically very social kid who is finding that a large number of other girls are just not nice and will outright reject invitations to meet (dinner, coffee, etc)
Roommate is having a similar experience per the roommate's mom who I reached out to in desperation (wanting to know if what my kid was sharing was true or embellished for sympathy or ?) Turns out relayed the exact same things without me even suggesting them.
UGH.

So there you go. Yes, OP, this is very normal. She will be fine. Unfortunately, there are a lot of not so nice people out there and she's running into some of them.

[Anonymous]

what school?

[Anonymous]

She can just hang with the roommate for now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious about what you're hearing from your freshman and if they're happy and feeling connected.
Mine is not and I am trying not to worry. I know it's early.
This is an historically very social kid who is finding that a large number of other girls are just not nice and will outright reject invitations to meet (dinner, coffee, etc)
Roommate is having a similar experience per the roommate's mom who I reached out to in desperation (wanting to know if what my kid was sharing was true or embellished for sympathy or ?) Turns out relayed the exact same things without me even suggesting them.
UGH.

So there you go. Yes, OP, this is very normal. She will be fine. Unfortunately, there are a lot of not so nice people out there and she's running into some of them.

I agree it's normal and things will get better, but it is NOT mean to decline an invitation. This is an overwhelming time, esp for first years, and all kids are allowed to set their own limits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious about what you're hearing from your freshman and if they're happy and feeling connected.
Mine is not and I am trying not to worry. I know it's early.
This is an historically very social kid who is finding that a large number of other girls are just not nice and will outright reject invitations to meet (dinner, coffee, etc)
Roommate is having a similar experience per the roommate's mom who I reached out to in desperation (wanting to know if what my kid was sharing was true or embellished for sympathy or ?) Turns out relayed the exact same things without me even suggesting them.
UGH.

So there you go. Yes, OP, this is very normal. She will be fine. Unfortunately, there are a lot of not so nice people out there and she's running into some of them.

I agree it's normal and things will get better, but it is NOT mean to decline an invitation. This is an overwhelming time, esp for first years, and all kids are allowed to set their own limits.

Yeah, I could see my DS declining invites now. He's a little overwhelmed with establishing a new routine and very focused on getting off to a strong start with his classes.

[Anonymous]

Is your dd going to a school with many high school friends groups by chance?

Also the 'friendships' and groups formed at this point are often superficial and for show/security.

It will get better for her soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your dd going to a school with many high school friends groups by chance?

Also the 'friendships' and groups formed at this point are often superficial and for show/security.

It will get better for her soon.

I've heard about this ay my DC's school. There are a lot of kdis from in-state who knew each other and a lot of groups of girls that take pics like they are all best friends, but they just met. it's for security and for show. Right now, it's about having *someone* to hang out with. Over time, they will find more people with whom they connect. Maybe it will be those from the first few weeks, or maybe not. It's still so early that clubs aren' even really going, yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious about what you're hearing from your freshman and if they're happy and feeling connected.
Mine is not and I am trying not to worry. I know it's early.
This is an historically very social kid who is finding that a large number of other girls are just not nice and will outright reject invitations to meet (dinner, coffee, etc)
Roommate is having a similar experience per the roommate's mom who I reached out to in desperation (wanting to know if what my kid was sharing was true or embellished for sympathy or ?) Turns out relayed the exact same things without me even suggesting them.
UGH.

I mean, sounds like they have each other....

That's pretty good for this early. It will get better.

[Anonymous]

What school? It is early, it will change. Have them join a club many are open to all especially community service ones. It is a great way to meet people. Most schools have dorm events and meet and greets—she should goto these!

[Anonymous]

Mine was so nervous about finding her people. She was looking forward to a roommate but assigned a single (I thought she won the lottery, she was initially skeptical) then missed pre-orientation because of work. She was more stressed about social acclimation than academic.

But the school did a fantastic job the first week with event after event designed to get the kids meeting one-another, her hall is filled with fun kids and she spent her first weekend exploring Boston with 4 or 5 of her new girlfriends.

We're all relieved!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine was so nervous about finding her people. She was looking forward to a roommate but assigned a single (I thought she won the lottery, she was initially skeptical) then missed pre-orientation because of work. She was more stressed about social acclimation than academic.

But the school did a fantastic job the first week with event after event designed to get the kids meeting one-another, her hall is filled with fun kids and she spent her first weekend exploring Boston with 4 or 5 of her new girlfriends.

We're all relieved!

''What school?

[Anonymous]

This is all normal. In the beginning they glom on to anyone due to convenience and not be alone. They will all slowly start me more people in classes and clubs, and the groups will shift all year long.