Does PTO have to follow its rules

[Anonymous]

Also, just another perspective on this. My DH volunteers as an age-group coordinator in a local youth sports organization, and every season (2x/year) he rosters and schedules 500+ kids, 90% of whom come in with special requests.

It's like a part time job. But one of the perks is that he gets to decide the schedule for our son's team. Is that fair? I don't know. But given the enormous amount of time he pours into this, and the fact that it's a largely behind-the-scenes position with little to no recognition of the hard work, it feels fair to me that he gets first dibs on the schedule.

I for one appreciate all the work that the PTO does so that I don't have to. And if the "perk" they get is first dibs on the signup form? That seems okay to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If all the spots are filled before you can volunteer, just email the President that you will be coming on X day. Since it’s a time that someone else is double-booked, just say that you would like to her to swap in your name on the list and to please inform the other family of the switch. Then, show up on that day.

This. And if they balk, write the principal. Ours wouldn’t put up with this.

Sigh. I don’t want to rock the boat or get people in trouble. I just want it to be a little bit more fair so I can get a chance to volunteer and have my kid see me at lunch. It makes him so happy and I know there aren’t so many school years of kids being happy to have mom or dad there.

The purpose of volunteering is to provide
a service the school- not be “seen” by your son doing something.

[Anonymous]

OP, can you just go have lunch with your kid when you feel like it? We can at our ES and then you don’t have to volunteer! I also resent doing volunteer work for something I feel should be a paid position, which cafeteria monitor is at our school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a rule follower OP so I feel you on fairness.

However, why are you annoyed at the person who signed up the mom & dad in the same slot? They are only using a single slot right?

Also, I get it... the grandma isn't a parent and is part of that family, so having them on the list over a parent is potentially "cheating" but it's not really a duplicate signup the way it has been happening.

The only true "cheat" appears to be the woman who signed up for the first & last slot.

And that's what... 1 out of 180-ish school days?

The problem with people like them is they don't play by the rules and don't care. And the problem with US is that we let them live rent free in our brains while we stew.

Lately I've been trying to spend less time doing that, for my sake, and I would recommend the same for you.

I don't understand this either. It sounds like they're taking up one slot. How is that problematic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If all the spots are filled before you can volunteer, just email the President that you will be coming on X day. Since it’s a time that someone else is double-booked, just say that you would like to her to swap in your name on the list and to please inform the other family of the switch. Then, show up on that day.

This. And if they balk, write the principal. Ours wouldn’t put up with this.

Sigh. I don’t want to rock the boat or get people in trouble. I just want it to be a little bit more fair so I can get a chance to volunteer and have my kid see me at lunch. It makes him so happy and I know there aren’t so many school years of kids being happy to have mom or dad there.

I rather be stabbed in the eyeballs then volunteer for lunch duty. Just go and have lunch with your kid. Our school allows this any time.

SAME. OP can have my slot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, just another perspective on this. My DH volunteers as an age-group coordinator in a local youth sports organization, and every season (2x/year) he rosters and schedules 500+ kids, 90% of whom come in with special requests.

It's like a part time job. But one of the perks is that he gets to decide the schedule for our son's team. Is that fair? I don't know. But given the enormous amount of time he pours into this, and the fact that it's a largely behind-the-scenes position with little to no recognition of the hard work, it feels fair to me that he gets first dibs on the schedule.

I for one appreciate all the work that the PTO does so that I don't have to. And if the "perk" they get is first dibs on the signup form? That seems okay to me.

NP. I actually tend to agree with this. I've never minded if the active PTO parents or the room parents or whatever get the "first dibs" at sign-ups. But OP is describing that not only did those parents choose their slots first, but that they then also signed up for multiple slots despite that there is literally a stated rule against multiple-sign ups at OP's school. That's not very community-minded.

I agree, OP, I'd be miffed -- I don't think you're being petty. And I get why you want to volunteer at lunch. Folks on here are being obtuse; no parent actually themselves likes lunch duty, please! It's always parents of kids in only the younger grades because the little ones like seeing their parents at school. How strange -- a parent wants to do something to make their child happy!! My youngest is in first grade and last year in Kinder was beyond thrilled when I surprise showed up for lunch compost duty (I filled in last minute for someone who had to cancel). She has asked me multiple times to do it again this year. I plan to, for her, of course, -- compost duty is gross. My 5th grader, on the other hand, has given me strict orders not to dare volunteer at lunch, ha (ummm, gladly kiddo, NP).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a rule follower OP so I feel you on fairness.

However, why are you annoyed at the person who signed up the mom & dad in the same slot? They are only using a single slot right?

Also, I get it... the grandma isn't a parent and is part of that family, so having them on the list over a parent is potentially "cheating" but it's not really a duplicate signup the way it has been happening.

The only true "cheat" appears to be the woman who signed up for the first & last slot.

And that's what... 1 out of 180-ish school days?

The problem with people like them is they don't play by the rules and don't care. And the problem with US is that we let them live rent free in our brains while we stew.

Lately I've been trying to spend less time doing that, for my sake, and I would recommend the same for you.

I don't understand this either. It sounds like they're taking up one slot. How is that problematic?

Oh, I read it as like X day has availability for two parents to sign up, and this couple took both of them. So one sign-up in that slot could have gone to a parent of a different kid. Does their kid really need to see both his parents there, instead of allowing two kids to each see one parent? (And yes, the younger kids do genuinely love seeing a parent in the lunchroom.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a rule follower OP so I feel you on fairness.

However, why are you annoyed at the person who signed up the mom & dad in the same slot? They are only using a single slot right?

Also, I get it... the grandma isn't a parent and is part of that family, so having them on the list over a parent is potentially "cheating" but it's not really a duplicate signup the way it has been happening.

The only true "cheat" appears to be the woman who signed up for the first & last slot.

And that's what... 1 out of 180-ish school days?

The problem with people like them is they don't play by the rules and don't care. And the problem with US is that we let them live rent free in our brains while we stew.

Lately I've been trying to spend less time doing that, for my sake, and I would recommend the same for you.

I don't understand this either. It sounds like they're taking up one slot. How is that problematic?

The person took one spot out of 6. Since she signed 2 people up, the last person will be bumped. People know this so nobody signed up for the 6th slot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If all the spots are filled before you can volunteer, just email the President that you will be coming on X day. Since it’s a time that someone else is double-booked, just say that you would like to her to swap in your name on the list and to please inform the other family of the switch. Then, show up on that day.

This. And if they balk, write the principal. Ours wouldn’t put up with this.

Sigh. I don’t want to rock the boat or get people in trouble. I just want it to be a little bit more fair so I can get a chance to volunteer and have my kid see me at lunch. It makes him so happy and I know there aren’t so many school years of kids being happy to have mom or dad there.

The purpose of volunteering is to provide
a service the school- not be “seen” by your son doing something.

That's really not why people volunteer for lunch. They do it because they want to see their kids, want the school to see they are involved, and/or because their kids like to see their parents at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you just go have lunch with your kid when you feel like it? We can at our ES and then you don’t have to volunteer! I also resent doing volunteer work for something I feel should be a paid position, which cafeteria monitor is at our school.

No, we aren't really allowed to be at school during the day unless there is an express purpose. We aren't allowed to have lunch with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a rule follower OP so I feel you on fairness.

However, why are you annoyed at the person who signed up the mom & dad in the same slot? They are only using a single slot right?

Also, I get it... the grandma isn't a parent and is part of that family, so having them on the list over a parent is potentially "cheating" but it's not really a duplicate signup the way it has been happening.

The only true "cheat" appears to be the woman who signed up for the first & last slot.

And that's what... 1 out of 180-ish school days?

The problem with people like them is they don't play by the rules and don't care. And the problem with US is that we let them live rent free in our brains while we stew.

Lately I've been trying to spend less time doing that, for my sake, and I would recommend the same for you.

The sign up sheet states one slot per family. I know I shouldn't stew about this but this kind of thing causes unnecessary stress for those of us who play by the rules. And it's annoying to me that PTO announces stricter and stricter rules each year for people, but they and their favorite gal pals can just do whatever they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you just go have lunch with your kid when you feel like it? We can at our ES and then you don’t have to volunteer! I also resent doing volunteer work for something I feel should be a paid position, which cafeteria monitor is at our school.

Parents at your school are allowed to pop into the lunchroom and randomly eat lunch there? That's super weird!

Or do you mean that you are allowed to pick up your kid and take them out of school for lunch? Sure, my child would enjoy that, but it would be different than seeing me - her parent - at school in the lunchroom.

[Anonymous]

Why are parents policing the lunchroom anyway? They should not be the ones doing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are parents policing the lunchroom anyway? They should not be the ones doing this.

Teachers don't want to do it. It's pretty common ime. Some schools also have the money to hire paras for this role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids know if their Mothers make the extra effort, or not. Ick. I was kidding. But honestly, why do schools have these positions? They shouldn't. Parents don't belong in schools in this way. It's more ordinary for adults to be in the workforce, and not be able to linger at their kid's school.

Wrong. I volunteered a lot at the schools in Loudoun but I didn't follow my kids around when I was at the school. There was actually a lot of annoying busy work that I was able to do for the teachers that they often did after hours. Teachers requested me as a room mom, but again, I wasn't there to follow my kids around.