Does PTO have to follow its rules

[Anonymous]

I promise school lunch will still happen without parent volunteers.

It always did before!

[Anonymous]

If too many volunteers at school helping to make the school run, mean school staff will never be respected as professionals.

[Anonymous]

Optics are everything.

Appearance, not optics.

OP: I think that the only way to fix this (given that the PTO is essentially unaccountable, except to itself) is to join the organization, go to the meetings, and make an issue about unequal application of sign-up rules. I would encourage you to do this. Otherwise, as a non-member, you are not really in any position to have this addressed, and the school is likewise powerless to change how the PTO works.

Your other option is to refuse to donate money or volunteer and, if asked why, say what you posted here.

Yes, the members should obey their own rules. That is pretty obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, just another perspective on this. My DH volunteers as an age-group coordinator in a local youth sports organization, and every season (2x/year) he rosters and schedules 500+ kids, 90% of whom come in with special requests.

It's like a part time job. But one of the perks is that he gets to decide the schedule for our son's team. Is that fair? I don't know. But given the enormous amount of time he pours into this, and the fact that it's a largely behind-the-scenes position with little to no recognition of the hard work, it feels fair to me that he gets first dibs on the schedule.

I for one appreciate all the work that the PTO does so that I don't have to. And if the "perk" they get is first dibs on the signup form? That seems okay to me.

100% this. As a former PTO board member, what KILLED me were all these parents who never had two seconds to help out with anything we needed, but would show up 45 minutes before a school concert or other event to claim prime seating while those of us pouring our free time into the school sat on the floor or 15 rows back. And I say this as a mom who works FT out of the home in a demanding job.

Lady - what? You think you are owed a good seat because you volunteer ? If you want to be in the front row go early. It’s a totally different thing and I say that as someone who does a fair amount of both fun and non fun volunteering around my own job.

This whole thread is totally crazy though. Our school is so happy to have volunteers at lunch! You walk around and help kids open their juice or whatever and hand out napkins. I did it because it was VERY eye opening but also because the staff really appreciates it.

NP here. To be fair, the most active PTO volunteers are often there far earlier than everyone else but are busy trying to set things up so they don't have time to save the best seats. At our school, PTO board members are given seats at the front of the gym for promotion ceremonies. But since I was in charge of the vendors outside who were there for the post-ceremony celebration, I chose to sit in the back so that I could check on them mid-ceremony. Even though my kid was being promoted. So if you think most PTO volunteers are in it for the good seats, think again.

[Anonymous]

elementary promotion ceremonies are so stupid. especially in this day and age where nobody is ever held back. it would have made more sense to have them back in our time when it wasn't necessarily a given that everyone would progress to the next grade level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, just another perspective on this. My DH volunteers as an age-group coordinator in a local youth sports organization, and every season (2x/year) he rosters and schedules 500+ kids, 90% of whom come in with special requests.

It's like a part time job. But one of the perks is that he gets to decide the schedule for our son's team. Is that fair? I don't know. But given the enormous amount of time he pours into this, and the fact that it's a largely behind-the-scenes position with little to no recognition of the hard work, it feels fair to me that he gets first dibs on the schedule.

I for one appreciate all the work that the PTO does so that I don't have to. And if the "perk" they get is first dibs on the signup form? That seems okay to me.

100% this. As a former PTO board member, what KILLED me were all these parents who never had two seconds to help out with anything we needed, but would show up 45 minutes before a school concert or other event to claim prime seating while those of us pouring our free time into the school sat on the floor or 15 rows back. And I say this as a mom who works FT out of the home in a demanding job.

Lady - what? You think you are owed a good seat because you volunteer ? If you want to be in the front row go early. It’s a totally different thing and I say that as someone who does a fair amount of both fun and non fun volunteering around my own job.

This whole thread is totally crazy though. Our school is so happy to have volunteers at lunch! You walk around and help kids open their juice or whatever and hand out napkins. I did it because it was VERY eye opening but also because the staff really appreciates it.

NP here. To be fair, the most active PTO volunteers are often there far earlier than everyone else but are busy trying to set things up so they don't have time to save the best seats. At our school, PTO board members are given seats at the front of the gym for promotion ceremonies. But since I was in charge of the vendors outside who were there for the post-ceremony celebration, I chose to sit in the back so that I could check on them mid-ceremony. Even though my kid was being promoted. So if you think most PTO volunteers are in it for the good seats, think again.

I think that most people would find it perfectly reasonable that the PTO volunteers helping to run an event get to have the school reserve them some good seats at the front. At least -- it seems fair and reasonable to me, and I'm someone who pretty much never volunteer with the PTO. But that other PP seemed aggrieved and judgy that other parents weren't choosing to use their free time to volunteer like her. Like, if they have time to save seats then they should have time to volunteer. Nah, not how it works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, just another perspective on this. My DH volunteers as an age-group coordinator in a local youth sports organization, and every season (2x/year) he rosters and schedules 500+ kids, 90% of whom come in with special requests.

It's like a part time job. But one of the perks is that he gets to decide the schedule for our son's team. Is that fair? I don't know. But given the enormous amount of time he pours into this, and the fact that it's a largely behind-the-scenes position with little to no recognition of the hard work, it feels fair to me that he gets first dibs on the schedule.

I for one appreciate all the work that the PTO does so that I don't have to. And if the "perk" they get is first dibs on the signup form? That seems okay to me.

100% this. As a former PTO board member, what KILLED me were all these parents who never had two seconds to help out with anything we needed, but would show up 45 minutes before a school concert or other event to claim prime seating while those of us pouring our free time into the school sat on the floor or 15 rows back. And I say this as a mom who works FT out of the home in a demanding job.

Lady - what? You think you are owed a good seat because you volunteer ? If you want to be in the front row go early. It’s a totally different thing and I say that as someone who does a fair amount of both fun and non fun volunteering around my own job.

This whole thread is totally crazy though. Our school is so happy to have volunteers at lunch! You walk around and help kids open their juice or whatever and hand out napkins. I did it because it was VERY eye opening [u]but also because the staff really appreciates it.

What does this mean? Eye opening how?

One of my kids was having a hard time with a specific child and the teacher was like well I’m not at lunch, what do you want? And it was very confusing to me how the situations my kid was describing were happening and who to contact until I saw the whole situation and lack of supervision. Also it is VERY loud and overwhelming and most kids don’t actually eat a lot at lunch, in part because the school lunch has looked absolutely revolting every time I’ve been there. I was packing but kind of wanted my kids to try the school lunch until I actually saw it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Optics are everything.

Appearance, not optics.

OP: I think that the only way to fix this (given that the PTO is essentially unaccountable, except to itself) is to join the organization, go to the meetings, and make an issue about unequal application of sign-up rules. I would encourage you to do this. Otherwise, as a non-member, you are not really in any position to have this addressed, and the school is likewise powerless to change how the PTO works.

Your other option is to refuse to donate money or volunteer and, if asked why, say what you posted here.

Yes, the members should obey their own rules. That is pretty obvious.

The school is not powerless to control who volunteers in the school. They may not want to get involved but they absolutely can.