Does PTO have to follow its rules

[Anonymous]

This is an issue at our schools, so I get it. We also had a grandma who took every classroom volunteer slot last year and I agree it kind of sucks.

But this is not something I would make a stink about. These parents aren't going to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would put your energy elsewhere. And I say that after 7 years of school volunteering and a vow to not participate this year.

Me too. I’m done. One mom said to me, “oh doesn’t your kid have x amount of years left”. Uh yes but that doesn’t mean I have to put in all that work I just did for all these past years for another 4 years. Someone else can step up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you just go have lunch with your kid when you feel like it? We can at our ES and then you don’t have to volunteer! I also resent doing volunteer work for something I feel should be a paid position, which cafeteria monitor is at our school.

Parents at your school are allowed to pop into the lunchroom and randomly eat lunch there? That's super weird!

Or do you mean that you are allowed to pick up your kid and take them out of school for lunch? Sure, my child would enjoy that, but it would be different than seeing me - her parent - at school in the lunchroom.

Yep you can go in any day you want and eat with your kid in the cafeteria. I did it once and have zero desire to ever do it again.

[Anonymous]

Optics are everything. Bad optics means more parents are turned off from giving $$$ because they think the people spending the $$$ are a**holes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pto just put out the classroom activities and school lunch volunteer lists. Every semester it’s a mad dash for parents to try to volunteer, because there aren’t enough slots and these are the two volunteer areas where you can actually see your kid!

This year PTO said everyone needs to limit it to one sign up per family. The usual suspects signed up for more than one - one signed up both herself and husband in a single slot meant for one person, another signed up herself in one slot and her mother in another, and another woman just straight up signed up for first slot and last slot of the semester, like nobody would notice her name on there twice. All of this of course happening before the sign up is even sent to us “normal” families.

Yes I am petty. But that aside do you think PTO should have to play by its own rules it has set out? Or can all these women just take as many slots as they wish since they set up the signupgenius? I volunteer over a dozen hours a year every year in doing grunt work (not on the PTO board) and play by the rules.

I would love to have these kinds of problems. In my school community it's always really hard to get anybody to volunteer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, can you just go have lunch with your kid when you feel like it? We can at our ES and then you don’t have to volunteer! I also resent doing volunteer work for something I feel should be a paid position, which cafeteria monitor is at our school.

Parents at your school are allowed to pop into the lunchroom and randomly eat lunch there? That's super weird!

Or do you mean that you are allowed to pick up your kid and take them out of school for lunch? Sure, my child would enjoy that, but it would be different than seeing me - her parent - at school in the lunchroom.

Yep you can go in any day you want and eat with your kid in the cafeteria. I did it once and have zero desire to ever do it again.

Yeah I don't know which one's worse the noise or the smell.

The lunch sides have earned their place in heaven as far as I'm concerned

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, just another perspective on this. My DH volunteers as an age-group coordinator in a local youth sports organization, and every season (2x/year) he rosters and schedules 500+ kids, 90% of whom come in with special requests.

It's like a part time job. But one of the perks is that he gets to decide the schedule for our son's team. Is that fair? I don't know. But given the enormous amount of time he pours into this, and the fact that it's a largely behind-the-scenes position with little to no recognition of the hard work, it feels fair to me that he gets first dibs on the schedule.

I for one appreciate all the work that the PTO does so that I don't have to. And if the "perk" they get is first dibs on the signup form? That seems okay to me.

100% this. As a former PTO board member, what KILLED me were all these parents who never had two seconds to help out with anything we needed, but would show up 45 minutes before a school concert or other event to claim prime seating while those of us pouring our free time into the school sat on the floor or 15 rows back. And I say this as a mom who works FT out of the home in a demanding job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, just another perspective on this. My DH volunteers as an age-group coordinator in a local youth sports organization, and every season (2x/year) he rosters and schedules 500+ kids, 90% of whom come in with special requests.

It's like a part time job. But one of the perks is that he gets to decide the schedule for our son's team. Is that fair? I don't know. But given the enormous amount of time he pours into this, and the fact that it's a largely behind-the-scenes position with little to no recognition of the hard work, it feels fair to me that he gets first dibs on the schedule.

I for one appreciate all the work that the PTO does so that I don't have to. And if the "perk" they get is first dibs on the signup form? That seems okay to me.

100% this. As a former PTO board member, what KILLED me were all these parents who never had two seconds to help out with anything we needed, but would show up 45 minutes before a school concert or other event to claim prime seating while those of us pouring our free time into the school sat on the floor or 15 rows back. And I say this as a mom who works FT out of the home in a demanding job.

Nobody is forcing you to be a PTO martyr or a demanding job martyr. People choose to be overwhelmed with extra activities that are meaningless in grand scheme of things. And you have absolutely no idea what people deal with at home that is just as demanding as an outside job. Caring for elderly parents, caring for a disabled adult child, dealing with a chronic illness that limits your physical activity, etc. The last kind of person the school needs on the PTO board is someone whose real motive is being congratulated for their huge sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, just another perspective on this. My DH volunteers as an age-group coordinator in a local youth sports organization, and every season (2x/year) he rosters and schedules 500+ kids, 90% of whom come in with special requests.

It's like a part time job. But one of the perks is that he gets to decide the schedule for our son's team. Is that fair? I don't know. But given the enormous amount of time he pours into this, and the fact that it's a largely behind-the-scenes position with little to no recognition of the hard work, it feels fair to me that he gets first dibs on the schedule.

I for one appreciate all the work that the PTO does so that I don't have to. And if the "perk" they get is first dibs on the signup form? That seems okay to me.

100% this. As a former PTO board member, what KILLED me were all these parents who never had two seconds to help out with anything we needed, but would show up 45 minutes before a school concert or other event to claim prime seating while those of us pouring our free time into the school sat on the floor or 15 rows back. And I say this as a mom who works FT out of the home in a demanding job.

Omg you can not volunteer to help do something and then shame others who don’t AND expect people to bend over backwards for you. Such a gross mindset to have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, just another perspective on this. My DH volunteers as an age-group coordinator in a local youth sports organization, and every season (2x/year) he rosters and schedules 500+ kids, 90% of whom come in with special requests.

It's like a part time job. But one of the perks is that he gets to decide the schedule for our son's team. Is that fair? I don't know. But given the enormous amount of time he pours into this, and the fact that it's a largely behind-the-scenes position with little to no recognition of the hard work, it feels fair to me that he gets first dibs on the schedule.

I for one appreciate all the work that the PTO does so that I don't have to. And if the "perk" they get is first dibs on the signup form? That seems okay to me.

100% this. As a former PTO board member, what KILLED me were all these parents who never had two seconds to help out with anything we needed, but would show up 45 minutes before a school concert or other event to claim prime seating while those of us pouring our free time into the school sat on the floor or 15 rows back. And I say this as a mom who works FT out of the home in a demanding job.

Lady - what? You think you are owed a good seat because you volunteer ? If you want to be in the front row go early. It’s a totally different thing and I say that as someone who does a fair amount of both fun and non fun volunteering around my own job.

This whole thread is totally crazy though. Our school is so happy to have volunteers at lunch! You walk around and help kids open their juice or whatever and hand out napkins. I did it because it was VERY eye opening but also because the staff really appreciates it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, they should follow the rules. I’d email the PTSO and cc the principal and assistant principal. Our PTA parents are a big clique of fake, brown-nosers with no life who gossip about children and families. They don’t support actual needs of the school or include those with disabilities, and do not have priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, just another perspective on this. My DH volunteers as an age-group coordinator in a local youth sports organization, and every season (2x/year) he rosters and schedules 500+ kids, 90% of whom come in with special requests.

It's like a part time job. But one of the perks is that he gets to decide the schedule for our son's team. Is that fair? I don't know. But given the enormous amount of time he pours into this, and the fact that it's a largely behind-the-scenes position with little to no recognition of the hard work, it feels fair to me that he gets first dibs on the schedule.

I for one appreciate all the work that the PTO does so that I don't have to. And if the "perk" they get is first dibs on the signup form? That seems okay to me.

100% this. As a former PTO board member, what KILLED me were all these parents who never had two seconds to help out with anything we needed, but would show up 45 minutes before a school concert or other event to claim prime seating while those of us pouring our free time into the school sat on the floor or 15 rows back. And I say this as a mom who works FT out of the home in a demanding job.

Lady - what? You think you are owed a good seat because you volunteer ? If you want to be in the front row go early. It’s a totally different thing and I say that as someone who does a fair amount of both fun and non fun volunteering around my own job.

This whole thread is totally crazy though. Our school is so happy to have volunteers at lunch! You walk around and help kids open their juice or whatever and hand out napkins. I did it because it was VERY eye opening but also because the staff really appreciates it.

Exactly. She doesn’t realize parents don’t want to volunteer with the PTA because of people like her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If all the spots are filled before you can volunteer, just email the President that you will be coming on X day. Since it’s a time that someone else is double-booked, just say that you would like to her to swap in your name on the list and to please inform the other family of the switch. Then, show up on that day.

This. And if they balk, write the principal. Ours wouldn’t put up with this.

Sigh. I don’t want to rock the boat or get people in trouble. I just want it to be a little bit more fair so I can get a chance to volunteer and have my kid see me at lunch. It makes him so happy and I know there aren’t so many school years of kids being happy to have mom or dad there.

The purpose of volunteering is to provide
a service the school- not be “seen” by your son doing something.

That's really not why people volunteer for lunch. They do it because they want to see their kids, want the school to see they are involved, and/or because their kids like to see their parents at school.

Which is exactly why PTA is dumb and unnecessary. The fewer parents in the building, the better. I promise school lunch will still happen without parent volunteers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, just another perspective on this. My DH volunteers as an age-group coordinator in a local youth sports organization, and every season (2x/year) he rosters and schedules 500+ kids, 90% of whom come in with special requests.

It's like a part time job. But one of the perks is that he gets to decide the schedule for our son's team. Is that fair? I don't know. But given the enormous amount of time he pours into this, and the fact that it's a largely behind-the-scenes position with little to no recognition of the hard work, it feels fair to me that he gets first dibs on the schedule.

I for one appreciate all the work that the PTO does so that I don't have to. And if the "perk" they get is first dibs on the signup form? That seems okay to me.

100% this. As a former PTO board member, what KILLED me were all these parents who never had two seconds to help out with anything we needed, but would show up 45 minutes before a school concert or other event to claim prime seating while those of us pouring our free time into the school sat on the floor or 15 rows back. And I say this as a mom who works FT out of the home in a demanding job.

Lady - what? You think you are owed a good seat because you volunteer ? If you want to be in the front row go early. It’s a totally different thing and I say that as someone who does a fair amount of both fun and non fun volunteering around my own job.

This whole thread is totally crazy though. Our school is so happy to have volunteers at lunch! You walk around and help kids open their juice or whatever and hand out napkins. I did it because it was VERY eye opening [u]but also because the staff really appreciates it.

What does this mean? Eye opening how?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, just another perspective on this. My DH volunteers as an age-group coordinator in a local youth sports organization, and every season (2x/year) he rosters and schedules 500+ kids, 90% of whom come in with special requests.

It's like a part time job. But one of the perks is that he gets to decide the schedule for our son's team. Is that fair? I don't know. But given the enormous amount of time he pours into this, and the fact that it's a largely behind-the-scenes position with little to no recognition of the hard work, it feels fair to me that he gets first dibs on the schedule.

I for one appreciate all the work that the PTO does so that I don't have to. And if the "perk" they get is first dibs on the signup form? That seems okay to me.

100% this. As a former PTO board member, what KILLED me were all these parents who never had two seconds to help out with anything we needed, but would show up 45 minutes before a school concert or other event to claim prime seating while those of us pouring our free time into the school sat on the floor or 15 rows back. And I say this as a mom who works FT out of the home in a demanding job.

Lady - what? You think you are owed a good seat because you volunteer ? If you want to be in the front row go early. It’s a totally different thing and I say that as someone who does a fair amount of both fun and non fun volunteering around my own job.

This whole thread is totally crazy though. Our school is so happy to have volunteers at lunch! You walk around and help kids open their juice or whatever and hand out napkins. I did it because it was VERY eye opening but also because the staff really appreciates it.

Exactly. She doesn’t realize parents don’t want to volunteer with the PTA because of people like her.

Yup. Our PTO president and two other women pt themselves on the back, naming and thanking themselves for every event and task. Meanwhile they do not bother to thank “other” women who show up to volunteer at events. I wonder why PTO president has to send out multiple emails and announcements basically begging for parents volunteers to step up otherwise they have to cancel X event? I got suckered into one of these calls for volunteers and these women didn’t even bother to acknowledge my existence. Oh, like I’m inconveniencing you by helping? Or you think I work for you? Never again. I’m very happy to answer teacher asks though and continue to volunteer in the classroom and on field trips.