Anyone's college bound kid refusing to engage in packing?

[Anonymous]

I just bought my son the things I know he’ll need without much consult, because he’s been avoiding. In he’s within earshot I’ll holler “I’m buying sheets. What color?” If I get “I dunno, whatever” that’s what he gets - whatever. So he now has blue or gray sheets, towels, comforter, and rug. He has a fan and a med kit because I want him to have them. I put those things in IKEA bags. He needs to pack his clothes, computer, and sports equipment. I have faith he could do that in an hour if needed, so now I’ll leave it be until the day before. If he hasn’t packed by dinner time the day before we leave I’ll go sit in his room with him and provide moral support.

If left to his own devices he’d show up to college with his baseball glove, every T-shirt and pair of shorts he owns, his gaming rig, his pillow, and deodorant. The boy has his priorities. But I want to sleep easier knowing he has what he needs, so I’ll help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC is due at college on Wednesday. We leave 9am that morning. So far no progress towards packing. Room is a disaster

Just wait until DC needs to be picked up before summer - dorm a disaster, no progress toward packing and once you arrive for what should be a quick pick-up, you're captive. Been there.

[Anonymous]

This is a fascinating thread.

I dropped my firstborn at college today. DC had lots of goodbyes but was helpful in the shopping and did most of the packing, including 90% of getting it in the car yesterday. This child usually procrastinates about EVERYTHING. Thank you for confirmation that my child was excited to go.

Please be careful of the FAFO unless you can throw a lot of cash at the last minute later this week.

And yes, I am ready for my DC to not have packed up fully when I show up for move out in the spring.

Good luck, OP!!!

[Anonymous]

OP, I think with parenting, it's ok to know what your needs are. What you need to make you feel a good-enough parent. What would you feel real bad if he forgot? Medications? A warm winter coat? Sheets for the bed and a pillow. Make a list. But just a few things.

Oversee that those things get out the door

[Anonymous]

Wait until they're heading *back* to college after a break or the summer. My DC is going back tomorrow as a senior and she's been packing her car all day. So excited and raring to go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is nervous about starting college and leaving his high school friendships behind, which it sounds like he is, encourage him to rush when he gets to campus. There is no faster way to find your tribe and ensure the best possible college experience. People tell horror stories about pledgeship, but 99% of it is positive. It forces you out of your comfort zone and into fast friendships. Plus it's only 8-10 weeks, after which he'll get to enjoy 3 1/2 years of god status on campus and access to the best parties, girls, and networking opportunities. Nationwide, students who go Greek have significantly higher GPAs and graduation rates than those who remain GDIs. They also make more money out of college. Your kid is understandably nervous now, but if he pledges, you'll see a totally different attitude at Christmas. He'll be laughing at his former self for not wanting to take this step in life. Good luck!

Congratulations on writing a post describing Greek life without using the words foyine or dimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is nervous about starting college and leaving his high school friendships behind, which it sounds like he is, encourage him to rush when he gets to campus. There is no faster way to find your tribe and ensure the best possible college experience. People tell horror stories about pledgeship, but 99% of it is positive. It forces you out of your comfort zone and into fast friendships. Plus it's only 8-10 weeks, after which he'll get to enjoy 3 1/2 years of god status on campus and access to the best parties, girls, and networking opportunities. Nationwide, students who go Greek have significantly higher GPAs and graduation rates than those who remain GDIs. They also make more money out of college. Your kid is understandably nervous now, but if he pledges, you'll see a totally different attitude at Christmas. He'll be laughing at his former self for not wanting to take this step in life. Good luck!

Congratulations on writing a post describing Greek life without using the words foyine or dimes.

Yet he still couldn't resist using "god status". So tiresome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You got to help them pack. Nothing wrong in doing some of that for them. I don't get this attitude of telling them to pack and expect them to manage it all. It's not going to make them slackers in life if you help out. We've done it, and just two weeks back did another moving help. Our senior is well equipped to handle the world who can manage everything, and doing it now. But sometimes is not best organized about packing or moving, that is the small stuff, help out if you can and it will go better for all.

Stop coddling them.

The first PP's post was full of wisdom and this is the drivel you're responding with? We know better than you. Our kids are functional and none the worse for having received help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid is nervous about starting college and leaving his high school friendships behind, which it sounds like he is, encourage him to rush when he gets to campus. There is no faster way to find your tribe and ensure the best possible college experience. People tell horror stories about pledgeship, but 99% of it is positive. It forces you out of your comfort zone and into fast friendships. Plus it's only 8-10 weeks, after which he'll get to enjoy 3 1/2 years of god status on campus and access to the best parties, girls, and networking opportunities. Nationwide, students who go Greek have significantly higher GPAs and graduation rates than those who remain GDIs. They also make more money out of college. Your kid is understandably nervous now, but if he pledges, you'll see a totally different attitude at Christmas. He'll be laughing at his former self for not wanting to take this step in life. Good luck!

BARF. It's great you're trying to get everyone to avoid rushing, but I'd rather you didn't even post about it.

[Anonymous]

We sat down and made lists, many months in advance. There are many lists all over the internet and even on DCUM. Then we shopped and packed together. I want him to know how to do this properly and feel that he should understand the whole process at least once.

My kid has never had to pack anything in 18 years of their life. They have lived in the same house their entire life. We are not a military family. We don't work for state department. We are an intact family and so the kids have not shuttled between two households. My kids have not vacationed separately from us. My kids have not gone to sleep-away camps, or studied in boarding schools.

But, I have a question to ask - did you not know that they were going to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You got to help them pack. Nothing wrong in doing some of that for them. I don't get this attitude of telling them to pack and expect them to manage it all. It's not going to make them slackers in life if you help out. We've done it, and just two weeks back did another moving help. Our senior is well equipped to handle the world who can manage everything, and doing it now. But sometimes is not best organized about packing or moving, that is the small stuff, help out if you can and it will go better for all.

Stop coddling them.

The first PP's post was full of wisdom and this is the drivel you're responding with? We know better than you. Our kids are functional and none the worse for having received help.

+1
I had to help one of my kids in particular all through high school. That kid is now far more organized and motivated than I ever was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You got to help them pack. Nothing wrong in doing some of that for them. I don't get this attitude of telling them to pack and expect them to manage it all. It's not going to make them slackers in life if you help out. We've done it, and just two weeks back did another moving help. Our senior is well equipped to handle the world who can manage everything, and doing it now. But sometimes is not best organized about packing or moving, that is the small stuff, help out if you can and it will go better for all.

Stop coddling them.

I always wonder who posts these things. Are they trolls going against the grain just because? Are they parents who actually had a super-independent kid and don't understand that others need to grow into it? Are they parents who didn't help their kid and are trying to rationalize that they weren't jerks? Or were they children of jerks who desperately want to believe that their parents did the right thing? Or maybe they're parents of young children who have no clue what they're talking about...

Anyway. Safe to ignore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is leaving Thursday and I don't expect to do any packing until Wednesday night. If you need more than one day to pack, you're bringing too much stuff.

Um not necessarily o holier than thou one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think with parenting, it's ok to know what your needs are. What you need to make you feel a good-enough parent. What would you feel real bad if he forgot? Medications? A warm winter coat? Sheets for the bed and a pillow. Make a list. But just a few things.

Oversee that those things get out the door

This is great

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You got to help them pack. Nothing wrong in doing some of that for them. I don't get this attitude of telling them to pack and expect them to manage it all. It's not going to make them slackers in life if you help out. We've done it, and just two weeks back did another moving help. Our senior is well equipped to handle the world who can manage everything, and doing it now. But sometimes is not best organized about packing or moving, that is the small stuff, help out if you can and it will go better for all.

Stop coddling them.

I always wonder who posts these things. Are they trolls going against the grain just because? Are they parents who actually had a super-independent kid and don't understand that others need to grow into it? Are they parents who didn't help their kid and are trying to rationalize that they weren't jerks? Or were they children of jerks who desperately want to believe that their parents did the right thing? Or maybe they're parents of young children who have no clue what they're talking about...

Anyway. Safe to ignore.

+100