Getting smart as a “good girl”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Conventional/traditional does not equal good/moral.

Also, an absence of crimes or unethical behavior does not demonstrate that you are a good person. You could just be afraid of consequences.

I am deeply disturbed that you would need to be reminded of this at your age, OP.

My conclusion is that you are a stupid person.

Excellent post. This was my thinking as well. Only a dim person would be giving herself credit for following a very conventional life path.

Try harder to justify your lifestyle. Breaking conventions and rules and pushing limits for self gratification are not admirable traits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It dawned on me today that my whole life (I’m 43) I’ve been pretty much playing by the “rules” I was raised with. Be a good girl, get good grades, go to college, get married, buy a house, have kids, be a good mom, etc.

After my world was flipped upside down by divorce a few years ago, I feel like I have not really succeeded by being this person. In fact, I feel like around me the people who lie or cheat or cut corners are the ones who are succeeding.

So without going full on selfish hedonist, if you’ve had this realization already, how have you reformed yourself? Former “good girls”, please do share.

Step one: Get off DCUM

[Anonymous]

[youtube]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Conventional/traditional does not equal good/moral.

Also, an absence of crimes or unethical behavior does not demonstrate that you are a good person. You could just be afraid of consequences.

I am deeply disturbed that you would need to be reminded of this at your age, OP.

My conclusion is that you are a stupid person.

NP here. There are worse things than being "stupid."....like being a cold, judgmental bi..ch (my conclusion about you from your post).

[phone]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Conventional/traditional does not equal good/moral.

Also, an absence of crimes or unethical behavior does not demonstrate that you are a good person. You could just be afraid of consequences.

I am deeply disturbed that you would need to be reminded of this at your age, OP.

My conclusion is that you are a stupid person.

Excellent post. This was my thinking as well. Only a dim person would be giving herself credit for following a very conventional life path.

Try harder to justify your lifestyle. Breaking conventions and rules and pushing limits for self gratification are not admirable traits.

I’m a married working mom. I was the ultimate “good girl” and followed a conventional life path. But I don’t give myself credit for being a good person for doing things that have benefited me. I’m not an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Conventional/traditional does not equal good/moral.

Also, an absence of crimes or unethical behavior does not demonstrate that you are a good person. You could just be afraid of consequences.

I am deeply disturbed that you would need to be reminded of this at your age, OP.

My conclusion is that you are a stupid person.

Excellent post. This was my thinking as well. Only a dim person would be giving herself credit for following a very conventional life path.

Try harder to justify your lifestyle. Breaking conventions and rules and pushing limits for self gratification are not admirable traits.

Oh look, a troll who didn't understand the first thing about what it means to be "good".

[Anonymous]

Jump on the c0ck carousel for a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[youtube]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Conventional/traditional does not equal good/moral.

Also, an absence of crimes or unethical behavior does not demonstrate that you are a good person. You could just be afraid of consequences.

I am deeply disturbed that you would need to be reminded of this at your age, OP.

My conclusion is that you are a stupid person.

NP here. There are worse things than being "stupid."....like being a cold, judgmental bi..ch (my conclusion about you from your post).

[phone]

+1 seriously!

[Anonymous]

I don't know if I can. I agree with you OP that it seems like the people around me who have succeeded the most at having the lives they want are all willing to do things that I was taught you shouldn't do. But I don't know if I can become a different person at this age. Especially as a mom. When I think about breaking out of my "good girl" role I also think about my kids and how they might suffer for it, and I can't do that to them. I was taught that sometimes you sacrifice your own happiness for your kids.

I don't know, I feel stuck in this role.

[Anonymous]

What happened to living your belief system? Does that crumble when things go astray? If so, they weren’t your beliefs to begin with, they were words of convenience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know if I can. I agree with you OP that it seems like the people around me who have succeeded the most at having the lives they want are all willing to do things that I was taught you shouldn't do. But I don't know if I can become a different person at this age. Especially as a mom. When I think about breaking out of my "good girl" role I also think about my kids and how they might suffer for it, and I can't do that to them. I was taught that sometimes you sacrifice your own happiness for your kids.

I don't know, I feel stuck in this role.

You can be very proud of your role. This world needs more women who are smart, educated, and motivated to be successful adults (whether working outside the home, volunteering, etc) but also kind, nurturing, and instilling good values in their children by their actions. Life can also change on a dime, and you never know what is really going on in other people's lives. Many people are hiding or covering up their insecurities and unhappy lives.

[Anonymous]

OP here - not sure why people think I want to become a liar or a cheater. I specifically said without becoming a “narcissist hedonist.”

I meant “good girl” as in, follow the traditional path. In other words, I want to hear stories about women who realized this was them and broke out of this trajectory and came into their own. Yes I know I could go get a biography on famous women but I wanted to hear individuals who are normal like me.

[Anonymous]

Not a good girl. I grew up with some smart kids who basically felt rules weren't for them. This continued onto university.

There was a code, so they didn't cheat on exams, but everything else was fare game. From working @ the cafeteria & charging $1 for a meal from getting people into sold out concerts.

Many took unconventional career paths as well.

Steal that pen. Sneak into the multiplex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - not sure why people think I want to become a liar or a cheater. I specifically said without becoming a “narcissist hedonist.”

I meant “good girl” as in, follow the traditional path. In other words, I want to hear stories about women who realized this was them and broke out of this trajectory and came into their own. Yes I know I could go get a biography on famous women but I wanted to hear individuals who are normal like me.

Liar/cheater or a good girl? Why so black and white? This thinking is scary to me. I haven't always followed all rules and laws, and who even knows them all, but I wouldn't call myself a bad person.
I also think others too more risks and it paid off. It rubs OP the wrong way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - not sure why people think I want to become a liar or a cheater. I specifically said without becoming a “narcissist hedonist.”

I meant “good girl” as in, follow the traditional path. In other words, I want to hear stories about women who realized this was them and broke out of this trajectory and came into their own. Yes I know I could go get a biography on famous women but I wanted to hear individuals who are normal like me.

You have to own your choices and be the protagonist in your own life OP.

Even in this thread, you continue to fall into your old patterns. You are seeking “stories of women who broke the mold to come in to their own”.

No one can tell you how to live your life or what defines meaning and happiness other than you. And no one is responsible for bringing meaning, contentment, and happiness to your life other than you.

PS: as someone who has had a lot of adventures, I don’t think ‘breaking the mold’ is going to bring you what it is that you are looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - not sure why people think I want to become a liar or a cheater. I specifically said without becoming a “narcissist hedonist.”

I meant “good girl” as in, follow the traditional path. In other words, I want to hear stories about women who realized this was them and broke out of this trajectory and came into their own. Yes I know I could go get a biography on famous women but I wanted to hear individuals who are normal like me.

Liar/cheater or a good girl? Why so black and white? This thinking is scary to me. I haven't always followed all rules and laws, and who even knows them all, but I wouldn't call myself a bad person.
I also think others too more risks and it paid off. It rubs OP the wrong way.

A person who lies and cheats is not a good person unless he or she changes and stops those behaviors. Risk taking is fine as long as it doesn't bring harm, financial ruin, etc to other people.