Getting smart as a “good girl”

[Anonymous]

It dawned on me today that my whole life (I’m 43) I’ve been pretty much playing by the “rules” I was raised with. Be a good girl, get good grades, go to college, get married, buy a house, have kids, be a good mom, etc.

After my world was flipped upside down by divorce a few years ago, I feel like I have not really succeeded by being this person. In fact, I feel like around me the people who lie or cheat or cut corners are the ones who are succeeding.

So without going full on selfish hedonist, if you’ve had this realization already, how have you reformed yourself? Former “good girls”, please do share.

[Anonymous]

At 43 personality is pretty set. Usually with people like you, it’s not being a good girl that led you astray but not setting boundaries or not taking any risks. Don’t try to become a cheater and liar just because you feel unsatisfied with life.

[Anonymous]

What makes you think you haven’t succeeded ?

[Anonymous]

I get what you are feeling but IT’S A TRAP! Living a life of dishonesty is a curse that you can never be free of unless you want to lose everything. It’s a house of cards.

“Never argue with an idiot because they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience”

[Anonymous]

Conventional/traditional does not equal good/moral.

Also, an absence of crimes or unethical behavior does not demonstrate that you are a good person. You could just be afraid of consequences.

I am deeply disturbed that you would need to be reminded of this at your age, OP.

My conclusion is that you are a stupid person.

[Anonymous]

I understand OP. America is rewarding cheating, lying, and narcissistic behavior after the higher influence of politics in daily life and particularly Trump but I would also say liberal movements that paint everything as a winner take all black and white world. I see it play out in my life all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand OP. America is rewarding cheating, lying, and narcissistic behavior after the higher influence of politics in daily life and particularly Trump but I would also say liberal movements that paint everything as a winner take all black and white world. I see it play out in my life all the time.

You sound delusional.

[Anonymous]

Keep being who you are, OP. The world needs more people who strive to be good vs. those who are just out for themselves.

We are living in a time when boorish behavior is viewed as “strong” and bullies are considered winners, but the truth will eventually be revealed.

Continue shining light into a dark world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It dawned on me today that my whole life (I’m 43) I’ve been pretty much playing by the “rules” I was raised with. Be a good girl, get good grades, go to college, get married, buy a house, have kids, be a good mom, etc.

After my world was flipped upside down by divorce a few years ago, I feel like I have not really succeeded by being this person. In fact, I feel like around me the people who lie or cheat or cut corners are the ones who are succeeding.

So without going full on selfish hedonist, if you’ve had this realization already, how have you reformed yourself? Former “good girls”, please do share.

Um I think you are having a mid-life crisis. Maybe talk to a therapist about this?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are also struggling with this .work hard, pass the tests, be qualified so a 19 year old guy named Big Balls can cancel your job, your livelihood, your department or section, your life’s work. Watch people lie on job and college applications and get ahead. I will never make as much money as an influencer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Conventional/traditional does not equal good/moral.

Also, an absence of crimes or unethical behavior does not demonstrate that you are a good person. You could just be afraid of consequences.

I am deeply disturbed that you would need to be reminded of this at your age, OP.

My conclusion is that you are a stupid person.

This. My only take away from the op is that she is dull. Do you have hobbies, an education, interesting job, meaningful volunteer work? Anything that you do that makes a difference? It sounds like you got a communications degree and married a guy to take care of you, and are wondering why life is better since you are “good”.

[Anonymous]

We have watched 4 generations of our family, do progressively better by playing by the rules, integrity and morals.

Being good means that you will always be winning, even if material life will seem unfair in comparison to others. The best part of being a good person is that you will attract other good people to you. And if you are unfortunate enough to be with a bad person, that relationship will break up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Conventional/traditional does not equal good/moral.

Also, an absence of crimes or unethical behavior does not demonstrate that you are a good person. You could just be afraid of consequences.

I am deeply disturbed that you would need to be reminded of this at your age, OP.

My conclusion is that you are a stupid person.

Excellent post. This was my thinking as well. Only a dim person would be giving herself credit for following a very conventional life path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are also struggling with this .work hard, pass the tests, be qualified so a 19 year old guy named Big Balls can cancel your job, your livelihood, your department or section, your life’s work. Watch people lie on job and college applications and get ahead. I will never make as much money as an influencer.

Look into being an influencer. Find your niche. Lean into your disillusionment. Turn it into entertainment and post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Conventional/traditional does not equal good/moral.

Also, an absence of crimes or unethical behavior does not demonstrate that you are a good person. You could just be afraid of consequences.

I am deeply disturbed that you would need to be reminded of this at your age, OP.

My conclusion is that you are a stupid person.

NP here. There are worse things than being "stupid."....like being a cold, judgmental bi..ch (my conclusion about you from your post).