Son is lost and really stressed out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did an eval. He has ADHD and that’s one of the underlying issues. Some of the classes would be transferable, probably a year’s worth. He needs more support by being at home. HS was a battle but doable. College has been rough and things have gotten worse.

One of the issues? What is the list? Is he medicated for the stuff that can be medicated and are you observing any side effects? Sometimes giving a cocktail of meds doesn't work out because of interactions, etc. So people pick and choose which diagnosis to treat. For example, since ADHD and anxiety can exacerbate each other, some families choose to treat the anxiety, not the ADHD. We chose to treat the ADHD, not the anxiety. Some do both, but you need to be careful not to zonk out your kid. It's all very delicate and trial and error.

It's nice some classes will transfer. Perhaps you can help him enroll, since he needs help doing that, just do he doesn't miss any deadlines. And then take it one day at a time.

[Anonymous]

If you have money and school allow him to go back. Let him go back and take a very light load, may be just 1 or 2 classes. It is good if he is back with friends. Take a very light load - just 1 class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have money and school allow him to go back. Let him go back and take a very light load, may be just 1 or 2 classes. It is good if he is back with friends. Take a very light load - just 1 class.

Are you illiterate? OP said he can't go back because his grades are so poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He can live at home and go to school. Maybe get a part-time job too.

Some kids do better living at home for a while. I did.

This would be good for lots of kids.

[Anonymous]

We are in a similar situation. DS is paying rent and has been working part time. We are taking a break from school while he works for a while, and may pursue a trade. School is not the right path.

[Anonymous]

What year is he in college? Does he need to sit out a semester or can he really never go back? Certain schools suspend you for one semester and then let you come back. Regarding taking classes elsewhere, most colleges will let the credit transfer but not the grade, so to get a bump in his GPA, he’d need to take classes at his college. Were there any summer classes he could’ve taken online?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have money and school allow him to go back. Let him go back and take a very light load, may be just 1 or 2 classes. It is good if he is back with friends. Take a very light load - just 1 class.

Are you illiterate? OP said he can't go back because his grades are so poor.

Wow, calm down, not everyone reads follow-ups.

[Anonymous]

Did he attend just one year? I really would encourage him to take two classes at a community college, so not to get too far behind. I think it would bolster his confidence too

[Anonymous]

He needs to he realistic he’s not going back OOS.

Ask him how he thinks that can happen? Does he have a plan?

He needs to write a plan fur the next three months what he’s going to do besides sit in his room.

Community college or a job. What’s his plan?

If he has no plan you need a time line s he goes to school or he moves out . Yep I’m
That parent. Or he goes to intensive therapy being stuck is not an option.

I know this is hard OP I’m
Very sorry this is happening

[Anonymous]

A friend’s DD was in a similar position after she graduated college, and she did a group therapy which helped her get a job after years of working a min wage PT.

Be gentle with him and yourself. A lot of people have windy paths. More common than not.

[Anonymous]

Can he do community college in the place where his OOC college is? They would be more accepting of the transfer of those credits too.

Or do you want him at home?

[Anonymous]

I think the OP needs to have eyes on this kid. Sending him OOS seems like a recipe for disaster.

[Anonymous]

In bigger picture of life this is a hiccup. Take a gap year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you letting him live at home and not pay rent, not work, and not go to school?

+1 he needs a kick in the pants.

I’d add ‘go to the gym’ to the list above.

I did the exact same thing as him after learning the hard way I wasn’t cut out to be an engineer. I lived at home one semester, worked 2 full time jobs, and went to our in state university in the spring. I took summer and winter classes to get my gpa up Now a happily employed attorney.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you letting him live at home and not pay rent, not work, and not go to school?

+1 he needs a kick in the pants.

I’d add ‘go to the gym’ to the list above.

I did the exact same thing as him after learning the hard way I wasn’t cut out to be an engineer. I lived at home one semester, worked 2 full time jobs, and went to our in state university in the spring. I took summer and winter classes to get my gpa up Now a happily employed attorney.

This isn’t the exact same thing. It doesn’t sound like you had mental health issues. OP’s son’s priority has been going to therapy and getting on the correct meds; he needed to get stable first, before figuring out the next steps.