Weird situation about cheating.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is full of shit! You know it too.
He’s also probably cheating on you or has in the past.

On top of that he’s also low key abusive.
You can’t do this that but he can - Seriously?

You are an adult and can speak to whoever you want.

You’re falling way into his trap.

If you’re not gonna’ ask about the woman or or take your blinders off - seek counseling …

Honestly I’d divorce. He’s not your father.

[Anonymous]

"Then last week, my husband started saying it wouldn’t be a big deal if I slept with someone else as long as I didn’t divorce him, and that crushes on other people are normal and healthy in a marriage. All while accusing me of cheating on him with a dad from my kid’s scout troop (I’m not)."

Umm.. this is classic narcissist behavior..

"That didn't happen"

"And if it did, it wasn't that bad"

"And if it was, that's not a big deal"

“And if it is, that's not my fault"

"And if it was, I didn't mean it"

"And if I did, you deserved it."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Your husband is full of shit! You know it too.
He’s also probably cheating on you or has in the past.

On top of that he’s also low key abusive.
You can’t do this that but he can - Seriously?

You are an adult and can speak to whoever you want.

You’re falling way into his trap.

If you’re not gonna’ ask about the woman or or take your blinders off - seek counseling …

Honestly I’d divorce. He’s not your father.

I did ask. He denied. Then he told me she was moving anyway. Then I found out she was still here. Then he said crushes are healthy.

[Anonymous]

Are you and your husband from different socioeconomic or cultural backgrounds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your husband is full of shit! You know it too.
He’s also probably cheating on you or has in the past.

On top of that he’s also low key abusive.
You can’t do this that but he can - Seriously?

You are an adult and can speak to whoever you want.

You’re falling way into his trap.

If you’re not gonna’ ask about the woman or or take your blinders off - seek counseling …

Honestly I’d divorce. He’s not your father.

I did ask. He denied. Then he told me she was moving anyway. Then I found out she was still here. Then he said crushes are healthy.

So a lair too?
Ick!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't you see your husband is trying to isolate you? This is a HUGE red flag with a blaring siren.

+1. He's totally unreasonable and likely cheating; vlassic projection. I'd get your affairs in order, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you and your husband from different socioeconomic or cultural backgrounds?

I grew upper middle class. He grew up lower middle-to-lower class. We are now both upper middle class. Both highly educated, both gainfully employed, both white.

[Anonymous]

Are you still getting wet for him? If not, dump this guy.

[Anonymous]

You seem to be in denial. My DH was this way and come to find out he cheated. I left two years later, but should have from the jump. If is he, what is your plan? Nobody acts this way unless they are severely insecure and doing something they shouldn’t be. How are you attracted to that?

[Anonymous]

If you don't have kids, please leave now. He is abusive. For me it's not even about the cheating, OP! He's just a horrible person.

If you have kids, you'll need a little time to figure out what's best for them. But certainly life your life exactly how you want to. You don't owe this monster anything.

[Anonymous]

I hope you can get away from him, OP. This is not normal; this is bad. There are so many red flags in your post. He is emotionally abusive. He is trying to isolate you. He is manipulating you. I hope when you go back and re-read what you wrote, you'll be horrified. None of this is OK. Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are with him why? Work on your self esteem issues.

Because our marriage is good and in a vacuum, his demands don’t seem unreasonable and were easy to comply with. You don’t want me talking to the baseball dads or my dumbass colleagues? That’s fine; I was really just being polite and social and a team player. I’m naturally somewhat introverted, so sitting quietly or ordering room service, or reading if my kid isn’t playing is fine by me.

Frankly, apart from the double standard, I didn’t really care about the woman from softball. I trust(ed?) my husband, and realize I really can’t police him (or anyone) into fidelity. But the deceit about her continued participation has really hit me hard.

There is nothing wrong with doing these things, it's true. But it is wrong if you are doing them because you feel you have no choice, or you are afraid to upset your husband. That is not OK. Chatting with other parents at practice is normal. Chatting with co-workers during lunch is normal. It makes me really sad for you that you think you have a good marriage. I'm sure there are other aspects of your marriage that make you happy, but what you describe here is being emotionally abused and manipulated. That is no way to live. I hope you can come to realize your worth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you and your husband from different socioeconomic or cultural backgrounds?

I grew upper middle class. He grew up lower middle-to-lower class. We are now both upper middle class. Both highly educated, both gainfully employed, both white.

As someone who was grew up UMC married for years to someone raised LMC it suddenly became a HUGE issue for him after decades together. All the unresolved issues he had never worked on as he moved into the UMC suddenly came crashing down and he bolted for someone whose background more closely matched his.

Are you seriously in this much denial about what's going on?

You *seriously* think you have a strong relationship?

Wake up.

[Anonymous]

Hun. He’s hittting homeruns and not on the field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Your husband is full of shit! You know it too.
He’s also probably cheating on you or has in the past.

On top of that he’s also low key abusive.
You can’t do this that but he can - Seriously?

You are an adult and can speak to whoever you want.

You’re falling way into his trap.

If you’re not gonna’ ask about the woman or or take your blinders off - seek counseling …

Honestly I’d divorce. He’s not your father.

I did ask. He denied.Then he told me she was moving anyway. Then I found out she was still here. Then he said crushes are healthy.

All husbands like you’re always so. Wake up!