Discovered niece has a lewd instagram. Tell her parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if this is a lot but it has over 2,000 followers. Her regular locked profile we are linked to is about 400 followers and following.

Ok and? Either tell them or don't but there isn't a need to try to gossip about her.

[Anonymous]

I think this is a troll who always posts different scenarios about knowing concerning things about their niece/nephew that their parents don’t know about. In case it isn’t, my advice is to mind your own business and say nothing. Commenting or tattletaling on anyone online quick way to alienate yourself from them. But you know this. Stop stalking on Insta and asking for advice on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

So you not only get yourself blocked but also your daughter because you are openingprofiles in her friend list then spread gossip? You sound like the bored nosey parent from hell. Or a troll.

[Anonymous]

My wife’s younger cousin had an IG like that - she was 18 and it was an act of college rebellion after being raised by a very uptight mother and father. I enjoyed it a lot and my wife was scandalized and when chatting with her aunt, the aunt started complaining about her daughters rebellion, and my wife said something like “yeesh I can only imagine, her instagram must drive you insane…” assuming her aunt had seen it.

She hadn’t. It got locked down very fast and the cousin hasn’t spoken to my wife for 10 years. There’s a significant age gap so they were never close but she apparently hasn’t gotten over it.

I don’t see what the big deal was - she didn’t show anything worse than every other woman her age, it was a public account, etc but it didn’t end well. Keep it to yourself.

[Anonymous]

SP, if possible try to gin up a convo with the girl mentioning how crucial it is to lock down your IG. No reason for anyone to have a public one.

[Anonymous]

Get off Instagram and save yourself the dilemma of discovering such things

[Anonymous]

I would stay out of it, as she is 17. If she was younger I would tell the parents.

I did figure out my niece had a secret insta, but hers was private and I did not narc her out to her parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can tell you don't get out much. A LOT of older teens do this, and their parents know (and sometimes encourage). There are entire families out there who are addicted to, and proud of, the attention their daughters receive online, even though they know very well who's watching.

Guess I dont get out much. Not sad Im missing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would stay out of it, as she is 17. If she was younger I would tell the parents.

I did figure out my niece had a secret insta, but hers was private and I did not narc her out to her parents.

What age is too young? It honestly makes me sad. A sweet young girl using her bustiness to get attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife’s younger cousin had an IG like that - she was 18 and it was an act of college rebellion after being raised by a very uptight mother and father. I enjoyed it a lot and my wife was scandalized and when chatting with her aunt, the aunt started complaining about her daughters rebellion, and my wife said something like “yeesh I can only imagine, her instagram must drive you insane…” assuming her aunt had seen it.

She hadn’t. It got locked down very fast and the cousin hasn’t spoken to my wife for 10 years. There’s a significant age gap so they were never close but she apparently hasn’t gotten over it.

I don’t see what the big deal was - she didn’t show anything worse than every other woman her age, it was a public account, etc but it didn’t end well. Keep it to yourself.

Obviously you did get what the big deal was since you enjoyed it so much. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would stay out of it, as she is 17. If she was younger I would tell the parents.

I did figure out my niece had a secret insta, but hers was private and I did not narc her out to her parents.

What age is too young? It honestly makes me sad. A sweet young girl using her bustiness to get attention.

Oh. It starts in earnest in middle school. While chaperoning a field trip with my DD’s middle school, I saw her classmates prop up their phones outside on a ledge and dance provocatively in front of the camera. All that goes on socials. They know their angles and everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd want to give the parents a heads up. The thing that's hard is if they already know and have decided not to act, you don't want it to be phrased judgmentally. So I'd probably approach by starting conversation with them about instagram. "Ugh, I hate that my daughter is on instagram now. It's so hard to figure out what limits to set about social media, especially as they're almost adults. What's your approach been?"

That way, you'll be able to get a way better sense of whether they know or would care based on their response. If they say "yeah, at this point we've decided she can use her own judgement on stuff like that, we're staying out of it" then you keep quiet. If they say "Oh, we monitor her instagram very closely, it is a pain" then you can say, "I noticed she had a second account - are you following that one as well?" or something that clues them in without being pushy.

Such stupid advice. You either just send it to them with a “hey just making sure you see this.” or you don’t. Your roundabout advice is dumb.

[Anonymous]

It’s public so you can see the follower list, are her parents on it? If not, they’re probably not aware. For a 17-year-old, no I wouldn’t say anything. It’s a bad idea, obviously, but it’s not illegal and is like half of the content on insta from teenage girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd want to give the parents a heads up. The thing that's hard is if they already know and have decided not to act, you don't want it to be phrased judgmentally. So I'd probably approach by starting conversation with them about instagram. "Ugh, I hate that my daughter is on instagram now. It's so hard to figure out what limits to set about social media, especially as they're almost adults. What's your approach been?"

That way, you'll be able to get a way better sense of whether they know or would care based on their response. If they say "yeah, at this point we've decided she can use her own judgement on stuff like that, we're staying out of it" then you keep quiet. If they say "Oh, we monitor her instagram very closely, it is a pain" then you can say, "I noticed she had a second account - are you following that one as well?" or something that clues them in without being pushy.

I think this is excellent. My daughter had a similar social media presence. My sister hemmed and hawed before showing me, and I threatened to not tell HER if HER daughter got up to something, in the future. Phrased like that, like a parent naturally would want to know, she showed me some horrible stuff my daughter had out there. I had a conversation with my daughter, which I thought I fumbled and which I thought went terribly, but my daughter actually reacted well to it, over time. My kid, like many, went through phases. She was probably 17 at this point. It’s 5 years later and she and I have a close relationship and she is finishing college and she’s awesome. I’m grateful I had a chance to talk to her about the social media stuff that was out there.

[Anonymous]

is her insta lascivious too?