Do I really get nothing?

[Anonymous]

You should hope he doesn’t get half of your 401k

[Anonymous]

Yeah get a quick divorce and move on.
What do you want from someone who has nothing to offer?

[Anonymous]

OP - you have your dignity and that's something. I divorced after 25 years of marriage and financial chaos. I initiated it and asked for nothing, except for some furniture. Be grateful you can support yourself and file and don't loom back.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Take accountability for poor partner selection and have a cheap, low (or hopefully no) conflict divorce. Freeze your own eggs and perhaps sperm donor embryos. See a therapist stat

[Anonymous]

You can’t get blood from a stone. Get out as soon as you can. You can only control your own actions, you freeze your eggs.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, keep it as nice as possible because if it gets contentions, you will be paying.

My bestie is in this situation. She was the breadwinner in their relationship making $100k more than he did as a teacher. Even tho he cheated and there was proof of the cheating, including texts of him admitting it and apologizing, she still pays him alimony. And even though she put in the most money when they bought their house, the judge still ordered a 50/50 split sale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, keep it as nice as possible because if it gets contentions, you will be paying.

My bestie is in this situation. She was the breadwinner in their relationship making $100k more than he did as a teacher. Even tho he cheated and there was proof of the cheating, including texts of him admitting it and apologizing, she still pays him alimony. And even though she put in the most money when they bought their house, the judge still ordered a 50/50 split sale.

Yup, this. He could easily be entitled to spousal support. Don't give him that idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be glad he’s not asking for half of your retirement.

+1 This is what I was thinking, you'll be lucky to get out without paying out half.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should hope he doesn’t get half of your 401k

Isn’t he entitled to 1/2 her 401k, since he has nothing saved?

He would not be entitled to half of her entire 401(k), but half of the growth of the principal and interest in the 401(k) since the marriage started. Yes.

I think in an equitable division state the court could take into account her ex’s refusal to work now and his prior decision not to fund his 401k. I don’t think half the 401k would be automatic. This is likely why the lawyers are advising her to just propose to walk away with what they each have. Perhaps there is some way to argue that she deserves more but the amount would be small and obviously mostly eaten up by attorneys fees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should hope he doesn’t get half of your 401k

+1 serial cheating/multiple affairs wife went after mine

[Anonymous]

You are young. You earn 6 figures. You have only been married for 11 years and you don't have kids. It's likely you will have to give him half your retirement account unless you can negotiate a clean break and you both walk away with no financial obligation to each other. Just get out now and work on rebuilding your life.

[Anonymous]

He gets 1/2 of your 401k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listen to your lawyers and get a therapist. Divorce actually is not the venue for you to get any emotional satisfaction from your relationship including revenge or compensation. You get what the law provides no more no less.

Best advice I’ve ever seen on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be glad he’s not asking for half of your retirement.

This. If I were his lawyer I would.

[Anonymous]

How did he waste your time? He's consistently made more money than you, it seems. How did you divide expenses?