Boyfriend is very private

[Anonymous]

Does he take long showers? That's also a sign of OCD.

[Anonymous]

I mean, if you want to have kids with this guy, I would consider how much time he takes with personal hygiene each day and whether he is going to be able to deal with lots of smelly bodily fluids. If these showers take less than 10 minutes, then maybe I could live with it.

[Anonymous]

Yellow flag.

[Anonymous]

He’s an independent what the hell does that mean?

There are no independents or libertarians at this point in time.

You are either an American or a criminal traitor there is no other anything

Yes his behaviors are strange he’s probably bisexual

[Anonymous]

What a waste of water and time! Do you want to deal with mental health issues in your future? He sounds rigid and ocd.

If you dont want kids, maybe you can stay with him. But dont pass on those weird genes and burden yourself and your children with him as a father.

[Anonymous]

What is the weird part in this to you? That he doesn’t allow you into the bathroom while he’s using for any purpose? Too many showers? What?

None of it seems objectionable to me except I have very sensitive skin so three showers a day would cause me physical pain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's autistic and this is one of his OCD things. My son has the same tendencies, but not quite as severe.

He isn’t autistic. I get that your son has autism but I’m so tired of everyone labeling someone as autistic.

You'd be surprised. And I'm tired of people not seeing it, hiding it, and masking it. Absolutely devastating when times get hard and nobody recognizes it. Ended in death for us and will end in death for next family member.
One of you is strange and it may not be you. Since you think he is NT, be happy he is so clean.
Right now I know several ASD level one thinking they are doing fine in life. They are doing fine for autistic person, but would do so much better if they didn't have it. For many, ASD is level two or three. Level one is just 'different like we all are'.

[Anonymous]

Boyfriend is fine. He has what many would view as a normal level of expectations for both privacy and hygiene.
If you want someone comfortable with watching you shit, and/ or with shitting while you watch, you should ask for that.
If you prefer someone funkier, you can ask for that too.

[Anonymous]

It's strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been together? Have you seen each other naked? Is he conservative, religious? Does he work out a lot so he needs to shower?
My DH was in the military and played sports in HS and college he never closed a door from day one...for anything. Once he set that tone, I went with it. Are you equally private with closed doors?

About 6 months. I’ve seen him fully naked a million times during sex. We have a lot of sex. He isn’t religious and is an independent. He works out once a day but showers in the morning after a workout, after work, and sometimes before bed. I’m private when I go to the bathroom but that’s it. He doesn’t shower in front of me, shave, pee, etc.

Like a quick rinse or a full fledged shower, shampoo, soap up? Only for summer or every day of the year? Weird. Ask him what’s up- that’s not good for your skin either to shower many times a day.

Quick rinse. He said he likes to wash the day off of him. He showers in the morning and does his hair after his workout. Showers when he gets home
( he’s a doctor), and sometimes before bed. Those are both quick rinses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, if you want to have kids with this guy, I would consider how much time he takes with personal hygiene each day and whether he is going to be able to deal with lots of smelly bodily fluids. If these showers take less than 10 minutes, then maybe I could live with it.

His showers when he gets home and before bed are like 3 minutes each. His morning shower and get ready routine is like 30 minutes. I take more than that to get myself ready for the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's autistic and this is one of his OCD things. My son has the same tendencies, but not quite as severe.

He isn’t autistic. I get that your son has autism but I’m so tired of everyone labeling someone as autistic.

You'd be surprised. And I'm tired of people not seeing it, hiding it, and masking it. Absolutely devastating when times get hard and nobody recognizes it. Ended in death for us and will end in death for next family member.
One of you is strange and it may not be you. Since you think he is NT, be happy he is so clean.
Right now I know several ASD level one thinking they are doing fine in life. They are doing fine for autistic person, but would do so much better if they didn't have it. For many, ASD is level two or three. Level one is just 'different like we all are'.

He is not autistic. Stop trying to slap that label on everyone for every little thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the weird part in this to you? That he doesn’t allow you into the bathroom while he’s using for any purpose? Too many showers? What?

None of it seems objectionable to me except I have very sensitive skin so three showers a day would cause me physical pain.

I just never been with a guy who showers this much or closes the door to shave and pee and stuff. It’s refreshing but I was just curious if it’s normal to be this private. I’ve seen him full body naked a million times so I know that’s not an issue for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the weird part in this to you? That he doesn’t allow you into the bathroom while he’s using for any purpose? Too many showers? What?

None of it seems objectionable to me except I have very sensitive skin so three showers a day would cause me physical pain.

I just never been with a guy who showers this much or closes the door to shave and pee and stuff. It’s refreshing but I was just curious if it’s normal to be this private. I’ve seen him full body naked a million times so I know that’s not an issue for him.

It wouldn't be a fit for me, personally. I like it when people are a little less uptight. Closing the door for #2 is basically the only thing I would expect privacy for in a sexual relationship.

[Anonymous]

He's a doctor, he's around germs all day. As am I. I always do a quick rinse when I get home or at least before bed. Your hang ups about this seem really odd to me. Are you looking for reasons to think poorly about the relationship? If I did a quick poll of my coworkers, especially after Covid, most do a quick rinse after work.