Youth group leader commenting on daughters height

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d quietly talk to her supervisor. This is wildly inappropriate. If it doesn’t stop, I’d talk to the pastor.

I once had a concern about a volunteer. Her supervisor thanked me for making the report and the situation was handled immediately. There has never been another issue. In my experience, modern churches are very sensitive to this issue. The volunteer may be asked to retake training. The training at our church would have disavowed her comments.

No you do not leave a kid in a chuck that hired this pos

OP you should have immediately removed your kid told this women off and left this church

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Please stop commenting on my daughter’s body, clothes and looks. It’s very inappropriate.”

This a 1000 times, but also let DD know will continue- whether asking if play volleyball or basketball or people she doesn’t know randomly telling her “you’ll lose that figure after you have kids”- people have no filter!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you tall, OP? Yes, tall girls stand out and yes, she will be looked upon as a leader. She already knows this, or will learn it soon, even if you think she shouldn't.

Not OP, but also a parent of a super tall girl, and in my experience, being very tall at 12 often makes you stand out in a way that other girls will shun. 12 year old girls can be brutal and they’ll look for any perceived difference to other someone. An adult should know better than to harp on physical differences. The other girls will pick up on it and it will fuel their fire.

[Anonymous]

Are you obsessed with ogling and discussing all teenage girls’ bodies, or just Katie’s? Either way I’m reporting your unhealthy obsession with my daughter’s body.

[Anonymous]

I would remove your child from the group and complain to the church leaders. She is being highly inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 12 and just started youth group , and one of the women leaders has made multiple comments about her height. She’s 5’9 and 130 lbs so small framed and is developed for her age and very pretty by all standards, and knows how to dress her body well. But doesn’t dress inappropriately, no crop tops or anything. Has a very preppy lululemon loveshack golden goose sense of style. But this one women has told her that people look at her more because she’s tall, she can’t wear shorts because it draws the wrong attention to her, that she has to act like a role model to her peers because she’s tall, and has even made comments to me that she wished she had my daughters body. I personally found this so weird and I can tell it makes my daughter uncomfortable. Wwyd?

Frankly, OP, this part of your post is very weird. The most I would ever say about my 12 year old's body is that she's cute and has long legs. I have no description of her "sense of style" but it's clear to me that you spend a lot of money and time on curating your child's wardrobe and that you're the one that "knows how to dress her body well," which to me means that you are ensuring that your child is dressed in a way that garners attention. I am NOT saying that you or your daughter have done anything that warrants any sort of extra attention or inappropriate comments, but what I am saying is that you need to maybe tone down dressing your child older than she actually is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you tall, OP? Yes, tall girls stand out and yes, she will be looked upon as a leader. She already knows this, or will learn it soon, even if you think she shouldn't.

No she won’t be looked upon as a leader, that’s ridiculous. Big deal, someone mentions her height. She’s early puberty but she’s hardly the only one.

[Anonymous]

Youth group is weird. Not sorry to say this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Please stop commenting on my daughter’s body, clothes and looks. It’s very inappropriate.”

I wouldn’t even use the word “please”.

“Do not ever comment on my daughter’s body, clothes or looks ever again, to her or to anyone else. It is very inappropriate. Do you understand? I never, ever want to hear of one more instance otherwise. This is a church youth group and it is highly unacceptable for anyone, especially an adult and youth group leader, to make any such comments. This is not up for discussion.” And then stand there staring at them.

[Anonymous]

I would go to a different church OP. That's creepy.

[Anonymous]

If you want a slightly gentler approach you can say:

"Please stop commenting about my daughter's body and clothing as you singling her out makes her and me uncomfortable. If there is a dress code that is applicable to all youth group members, please share it with all members of the youth group and we will review it at home."

[Anonymous]

It depends on how it’s affecting your daughter. When I was in church/youth group growing up, some of the adults were NUTS and by the time we were teens we easily recognized that they were insane and it was them, not us. We were not affected by them whatsoever. So, feel free to say something if your daughter is bothered of course, but that’s my experience.

[Anonymous]

Some of these comments are inappropriate and others are truth telling.

2inch inseam shorts look very different on a 5’ girl vs a 5’9” girl. Just like a sheath dress looks very different on an A cup woman vs a DD cup woman. It is what it is and more women and girls need to know this.

The comments about wanting her body type are inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

Pull your daughter and find a new church.

[Anonymous]

Don’t send DD back. Cmon OP