Youth group leader commenting on daughters height

[Anonymous]

My daughter is 12 and just started youth group , and one of the women leaders has made multiple comments about her height. She’s 5’9 and 130 lbs so small framed and is developed for her age and very pretty by all standards, and knows how to dress her body well. But doesn’t dress inappropriately, no crop tops or anything. Has a very preppy lululemon loveshack golden goose sense of style. But this one women has told her that people look at her more because she’s tall, she can’t wear shorts because it draws the wrong attention to her, that she has to act like a role model to her peers because she’s tall, and has even made comments to me that she wished she had my daughters body. I personally found this so weird and I can tell it makes my daughter uncomfortable. Wwyd?

[Anonymous]

“Please stop commenting on my daughter’s body, clothes and looks. It’s very inappropriate.”

[Anonymous]

Gee church group is puritanical about women…who’d have thought?

[Anonymous]

I have a super tall teen daughter who is used to everyone commenting on her height (try not to do it, people), but that is super weird and inappropriate. I would definitely make sure your daughter knows that the comments are weird and inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

What a freak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Please stop commenting on my daughter’s body, clothes and looks. It’s very inappropriate.”

This, of course she can wear shorts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 12 and just started youth group , and one of the women leaders has made multiple comments about her height. She’s 5’9 and 130 lbs so small framed and is developed for her age and very pretty by all standards, and knows how to dress her body well. But doesn’t dress inappropriately, no crop tops or anything. Has a very preppy lululemon loveshack golden goose sense of style. But this one women has told her that people look at her more because she’s tall, she can’t wear shorts because it draws the wrong attention to her, that she has to act like a role model to her peers because she’s tall, and has even made comments to me that she wished she had my daughters body. I personally found this so weird and I can tell it makes my daughter uncomfortable. Wwyd?

This is your fault for sending her to youth group!

Christian’s morality judgers as usual

Leave her there and you are a dam fool.

[Anonymous]

“You seem oddly hyperfocused on my teenage daughter’s body. You are making her, and me, uncomfortable. If you keep laser-focusing on my teenage daughter’s body, I’m going to talk to your supervisor about you ogling my daughter and commenting on her.

[Anonymous]

Are you tall, OP? Yes, tall girls stand out and yes, she will be looked upon as a leader. She already knows this, or will learn it soon, even if you think she shouldn't.

[Anonymous]

I would go over her head and complain.

[Anonymous]

(To be honest, you included details that make me think you're obsessed with your daughter's looks as well.)

But by all means, have fun with this!

Here's the BEST way -

"Martha, I've noticed you have an unhealthy fixation on my daughter's body. It's quite irreligious of you. I'm concerned about the welfare of your soul, and your fitness to be a youth leader. Do you think this is something we should discuss with Pastor Elliott?"

And then watch her cringe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Please stop commenting on my daughter’s body, clothes and looks. It’s very inappropriate.”

This, but also know that predators go to church young groups because it's church and people trust church. She sounds creepy and I'd keep my kid away.

[Anonymous]

I am tall, and my DD is tall. What looks ok on others is sometimes simply too short on us. So it isn’t always prudishness…. Sometimes we are too tall for a dress, a skirt, shorts, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Please stop commenting on my daughter’s body, clothes and looks. It’s very inappropriate.”

This, but also know that predators go to church young groups because it's church and people trust church. She sounds creepy and I'd keep my kid away.

+1. The leader is focused on your DD’s body. Talking won’t fix this. I would pull your DD so this woman doesn’t have access to her.

[Anonymous]

I’d quietly talk to her supervisor. This is wildly inappropriate. If it doesn’t stop, I’d talk to the pastor.

I once had a concern about a volunteer. Her supervisor thanked me for making the report and the situation was handled immediately. There has never been another issue. In my experience, modern churches are very sensitive to this issue. The volunteer may be asked to retake training. The training at our church would have disavowed her comments.