Soon-to-be college-aged DD is just too childish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of this matters, it’s just aesthetics. Why do you care?

Is she emotionally mature? Does she have strong social skills? Executive functioning skills? Life skills? Have you taught her to do her laundry, clean the house, manage a budget, sew a button, cook dinner, basic home repair and maintenance, paint a room, basic first aid?

That’s what matters. Who the heck cares if all her stuff is bedazzled and she wears bows?

Be less concerned with appearances and more concerned with reality.

Yes! Focus on the substantive issues: Does she get to school on time? Do her work? Get along with peers? Help out at home? You remind me of a stereotypical 1960s father yelling at his hippie son to get a haircut.

+1 how are her academics? Can she decently take care of herself? Does she have friends?

Rest of the stuff is not as important.

FWIW - my almost 17 yr old DD is a slob, and I worry about what her dorm room will look like. She also loves trinkets.

[Anonymous]

Hopefully your daughter finds someone to love her in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully your daughter finds someone to love her in college.

Doubtful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD (17) is a high school senior who's going to college next year. The problem is, she doesn't exactly act the part. She keeps a mind-blowing amount of trinkets on her nightstand, bedazzles everything, and even wears those old Jojo Sia bows from time to time. I think she's way too old to frankly dress and decorate like she's still in the third grade. I've made some polite suggestions to her about picking a more mature aesthetic, but she just won't listen. What do I do?

Two years of community college.

[Anonymous]

Nothing. Let her live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of this matters, it’s just aesthetics. Why do you care?

Is she emotionally mature? Does she have strong social skills? Executive functioning skills? Life skills? Have you taught her to do her laundry, clean the house, manage a budget, sew a button, cook dinner, basic home repair and maintenance, paint a room, basic first aid?

That’s what matters. Who the heck cares if all her stuff is bedazzled and she wears bows?

Be less concerned with appearances and more concerned with reality.

NP; I can’t do repair and maintenance and I’m 54. I know how to hire someone.

[Anonymous]

What you are describing is personal style, which could be worn in a kitschy way. Does she have typical interests of a teenager? Friebds, love interests? Has she had a job? Drivers license? Can she carry on a conversation with adults? What you told us doesn’t mean much as far as maturity -

But I was immature socially at 17. However I was responsible with school and worked. Watched siblings. I went away to college and matured a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD (17) is a high school senior who's going to college next year. The problem is, she doesn't exactly act the part. She keeps a mind-blowing amount of trinkets on her nightstand, bedazzles everything, and even wears those old Jojo Sia bows from time to time. I think she's way too old to frankly dress and decorate like she's still in the third grade. I've made some polite suggestions to her about picking a more mature aesthetic, but she just won't listen. What do I do?

What would be the appropriate amount of trinkets a 17 year old should have? I’m 47 and need to go count mine to make sure the trinket police don’t show up. Come on, why does this matter? She sounds fun.

[Anonymous]

Not trinkets on her nightstand!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD (17) is a high school senior who's going to college next year. The problem is, she doesn't exactly act the part. She keeps a mind-blowing amount of trinkets on her nightstand, bedazzles everything, and even wears those old Jojo Sia bows from time to time. I think she's way too old to frankly dress and decorate like she's still in the third grade. I've made some polite suggestions to her about picking a more mature aesthetic, but she just won't listen. What do I do?

What would be the appropriate amount of trinkets a 17 year old should have? I’m 47 and need to go count mine to make sure the trinket police don’t show up. Come on, why does this matter? She sounds fun.

Way more delightful than that horror of a mother. OP, have you thought that it may be because you're so critical of your child that she's a little immature and young for her age? Being constantly judged makes a child very unsure of themselves. It will be good for your daughter to separate from you and grow into her own person in college without constantly having to justify herself to you.

My teen DD is also a magpie and has a ton of trinkets. Her room is a mess. She has a peculiar sense of style, which I embrace. She's also a witty and sharp-minded individual who will do great wherever she goes. Why on earth would I have doubts about her fitness to go to college just because of these idiosyncrasies????

I'm going to say it. You sound very narrow-minded and stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not trinkets on her nightstand!!!!

I know, right? OP wanted her daughter to drink and drive, get tattoos, do drugs and get pregnant.

[Anonymous]

You know who else is really into bedazzling?

https://www.wmagazine.com/fashion/dolly-parton-best-fashion-style-photos

Seems to have worked out well for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gap year. Maybe as a foreign exchange student.

WTF? OP’s concern is that her DD is not mature enough for college, but you think it’s a good idea to send her to a foreign country??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know who else is really into bedazzling?

https://www.wmagazine.com/fashion/dolly-parton-best-fashion-style-photos

Seems to have worked out well for her.

Dolly is a WONDERFUL person who is overflowing with talent.

[Anonymous]

My MIL has too many trinkets and she has to get us something we don't need from every trip she takes. Some people like using physical objects as reminders of events, places, good times, etc.

I don't judge other people for owning things that hold sentimental value. OP, hopefully you can mature enough to let people live their lives.