Soon-to-be college-aged DD is just too childish
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Anonymous
| DD (17) is a high school senior who's going to college next year. The problem is, she doesn't exactly act the part. She keeps a mind-blowing amount of trinkets on her nightstand, bedazzles everything, and even wears those old Jojo Sia bows from time to time. I think she's way too old to frankly dress and decorate like she's still in the third grade. I've made some polite suggestions to her about picking a more mature aesthetic, but she just won't listen. What do I do? |
Anonymous
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Let her be herself.
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Anonymous
| Her whole generation is emotionally and intellectually stunted. |
Anonymous
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None of this matters, it’s just aesthetics. Why do you care?
Is she emotionally mature? Does she have strong social skills? Executive functioning skills? Life skills? Have you taught her to do her laundry, clean the house, manage a budget, sew a button, cook dinner, basic home repair and maintenance, paint a room, basic first aid? That’s what matters. Who the heck cares if all her stuff is bedazzled and she wears bows? Be less concerned with appearances and more concerned with reality. |
Anonymous
| Maybe find a college with a student “safe space” set aside? Many have color g books available, as well as stuffies for students. |
Anonymous
| Gap year. Maybe as a foreign exchange student. |
Anonymous
Yes! Focus on the substantive issues: Does she get to school on time? Do her work? Get along with peers? Help out at home? You remind me of a stereotypical 1960s father yelling at his hippie son to get a haircut. |
Anonymous
| Oh, I’m so happy for her to get out of your house and not have to listen to her mom suggest better aesthetics, lol. |
Anonymous
| She sounds maybe not like she's going through a great time mentally. Look into therapy. |
Anonymous
the time to look at select colleges is long gone honey. |
Anonymous
Therapy for bedazzling too much and wearing hair bows? |
Anonymous
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What’s wrong with her aesthetic? It might not be yours, but as long as she’s reaching her potential and has friends, who cares?
My mom made me keep my room like a guest room or hotel room. I could only put trinkets and posters in my closet because they ruined the aesthetic of my room. Guess what? I went to an Ivy, have a great career, and a house of my own which has my American girl dolls, sticker collection, stuffed animals, and Sanrio stuff. Neither DH nor my friends seem to hold it against me. The only downside is genetics, and now my DD is also a magpie so I’m constantly moving around Smiskis and Labubus and LOL dolls and whatever other stuff brings her joy. |
Anonymous
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Why are you so horrifically judgemental and petty? She’s great just the way she is.
You wouldn’t believe how innocent and childish a lot of college kids are. It’s a GOOD thing. I taught microbiology labs at UMD and it was refreshing to teach young people who were still kids at heart. They matured enormously in college. Not keeping her room tidy is not a sign of immaturity - it’s a sign she’s a bit messy, and might always be a bit messy. That’s OK. If she likes the girly esthetic, that’s fine, plenty of women are like her and she has time to change esthetics multiple times in the course if her life. What matters is whether she’s academically prepared for college; and whether she has enough practical and social life skills. Unless she’s severely ADHD, highly anxious or autistic, she’ll very likely be fine. And even then: one of my kids has severe ADHD and is on the spectrum, and is doing well in college. He brought multiple stuffed animals to his dorm room. And stop being so hypercritical! I had a hypercritical mother and put an ocean between us for my own sanity. We haven’t lived on the same continent since I turned 20… 25 years ago. |
Anonymous
| She sounds special needs. |
Anonymous
| God I hope this is a troll post. |