Grocery Store Discipline

[Anonymous]

Why does the entire family need to grocery shop?
I don’t want to hear your kid having a tantrum, take them outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We leave the store with a kid throwing a fit- nobody else wants to be around that. And if you whine or ask three times the answer is always no.

The problem is that the kids hate hate hate grocery shopping. They never went during Covid and it took us ages to habituate them to the idea of running errands. So I feel that while this would work for most kids, leaving and driving away would function as a reward for my particular kids. That’s why I want to do a timeout in the car and then walk back in and finish shopping.

That’s fine. The point is you don’t cause a ruckus in a store. We will leave for car timeout and come back as many times as needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does the entire family need to grocery shop?
I don’t want to hear your kid having a tantrum, take them outside.

This. One of you go alone. Your kid doesn’t want to be there and it’s faster alone. Or order grocery delivery. Stop make free time family drudge fest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A quick butt whipping would have set him straight in the store, then you could have discussed why he got the whipping later.

Perhaps also do some mock-training store runs.

Go to a Dollar General or other small store to practice.

I'm sure this isn't the popular vote on this page, but this is exactly what would have happened if it were my kids. A quick spanking in the store to end the situation, and then a follow-up conversation at home.

[Anonymous]

I had to separate my kids at the store yesterday.
We almost never take them, but it made sense with our day’s schedule yesterday.

DH and I + our 2 boys.

The boys kept playing with each other through each aisle, walking around the cart, sort of trying to tag each other.

I asked them to stop. Then a second time saying “if you don’t stop playing through the aisles we’ll just go.”

They kept at it, and i could see they were going to bump someone. I took the younger out the car, and DH finished up shopping with the older kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just got to the store alone. There’s no need to make it a family activity.

This. I always go to the grocery by myself. My 9 year old has no patients for any shopping of any kind. And when I take her, she just wants unhealthy things like candy, oversugared joghurts etc. So it's far easier and faster not to take kids/spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just got to the store alone. There’s no need to make it a family activity.

This. I always go to the grocery by myself. My 9 year old has no patients for any shopping of any kind. And when I take her, she just wants unhealthy things like candy, oversugared joghurts etc. So it's far easier and faster not to take kids/spouse.

That is the kind of kid that needs to go, and you can say no treats. Other times you let her get treats. Kids need to learn and adjust. You can't just put them only in situations they like and are pleasant in!

[Anonymous]

My 5 year old just did this same thing tonight. It’s so difficult. I tried to compromise, gave her a warning to stop, and then left and she did not get what she wanted. She’s going through a rough patch but we’re remaining consistent and she knows the consequences of this action (she has to calm down before she can re-enter whatever activity she had to leave).
I take all 3 of my kids with me to the store often, and this won’t stop me. But it is embarrassing. I make sure she knows how others don’t want to hear her yell either. Usually others are quite sympathetic though
Also, my husband and I are also not always on the same page. We were raised much differently. It is frustrating and something we’re always working on (and also argue about). I think remaining united in front of the kids is most important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does the entire family need to grocery shop?
I don’t want to hear your kid having a tantrum, take them outside.

I disagree and think it’s fine to ignore the tantrum and carry on shopping. Taking them out of the store isn’t really a punishment- they probably don’t want to be there anyway. Strangers can ignore. I know when someone’s kid is throwing a fit in a store- I don’t care at all. It’s irrelevant to me and carry on with my own business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We leave the store with a kid throwing a fit- nobody else wants to be around that. And if you whine or ask three times the answer is always no.

The problem is that the kids hate hate hate grocery shopping. They never went during Covid and it took us ages to habituate them to the idea of running errands. So I feel that while this would work for most kids, leaving and driving away would function as a reward for my particular kids. That’s why I want to do a timeout in the car and then walk back in and finish shopping.

That’s fine. The point is you don’t cause a ruckus in a store. We will leave for car timeout and come back as many times as needed.

Thank you. I’m not crazy. This is what I want to do and DH is obstructing me. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Pitching a fit means you don’t get it at all. Can’t teach them that behavior works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We leave the store with a kid throwing a fit- nobody else wants to be around that. And if you whine or ask three times the answer is always no.

The problem is that the kids hate hate hate grocery shopping. They never went during Covid and it took us ages to habituate them to the idea of running errands. So I feel that while this would work for most kids, leaving and driving away would function as a reward for my particular kids. That’s why I want to do a timeout in the car and then walk back in and finish shopping.

That’s fine. The point is you don’t cause a ruckus in a store. We will leave for car timeout and come back as many times as needed.

Thank you. I’m not crazy. This is what I want to do and DH is obstructing me. Thank you.

Obstructing you? Take some parenting classes together. You both need work.

[Anonymous]

6 is too old for a temper tantrum. I would have just left the store and a parent gets to go later.
I have 2 kids and going to the store with a parent is a treat for them. They get to spend extra time with a parent and usually get something nice out of it (our store has a kids fruit corner). We pregame when in the car and I remind them what behavior is expected at the store. At 5 and 9 they manage just fine 95% of the time. I much prefer going by myself but sometimes it can't be helped. I do not take them to target or any other multi stuff store (rarely the hardware store) unless it's back to school shopping and they are checking off the supplies list as a skill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pitching a fit means you don’t get it at all. Can’t teach them that behavior works.

PP here. This is my take at that age too. I'm a big believer of providing an opportunity to correct behavior and redemption but not for a public fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pitching a fit means you don’t get it at all. Can’t teach them that behavior works.

PP here. This is my take at that age too. I'm a big believer of providing an opportunity to correct behavior and redemption but not for a public fit.

Thank you for your input. DH will be reading this thread.