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Elementary School-Aged Kids
Grocery Store Discipline
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Anonymous
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I’m upset right now and I’d like dcum’s perspective.
We took the family to the grocery store today. DS (6) was asked if he wanted X, but he tried to negotiate for Y, so wash and I walked away. DS pitched a fit. I wanted to take him to the car for a time out, but DH said we should just ignore him. When DS finally calmed down and asked nicely, DH took DS back to get X. I didn’t notice until after the item had been ordered at the counter. I would have said that once you porch a fit, you can’t have any. In fact, I have said that very thing to DS before. I’m frustrated. I feel like DH and I are never on the same page in terms of discipline. I’ve read multiple books, but I can’t get him to read any. I hate feeling like I’m the heavy and he’s the fun parent, but I also hate when my kids misbehave. People always judge the mom, but I feel like I’m the normal one here. In this instance: 1. Would you have left the store for a time out or just ignored the kid? Are both valid responses? 2. Would you have bought the item for the child once he calmed down? DH is great, but we are miles apart on parenting and I find that very hard. |
Anonymous
| He’s too old to be pitching fits at all. Clearly neither of you are doing it right. |
Anonymous
| Is it a case of DH wanting X? Let DH have all of X. DH doesn’t get any. And later talk to DH about the grocery store. If you know you can’t agree, don’t go grocery shopping as a trio! |
Anonymous
Sorry I mean don’t let have DS have any X. You already bought it, but DH can eat it all. |
Anonymous
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A quick butt whipping would have set him straight in the store, then you could have discussed why he got the whipping later.
Perhaps also do some mock-training store runs. Go to a Dollar General or other small store to practice. |
Anonymous
| Gen X parent with young adults here. It's good to offer your kid choices. I was big on that with my kids when they were growing up. However, I did not ask open-ended questions at the grocery store -- eg, what do you want or pick a flavor. That's just asking for trouble at that age! Just get the usual stuff in the usual flavor. They get what they get. Save the choices for elsewhere. |
Anonymous
| We leave the store with a kid throwing a fit- nobody else wants to be around that. And if you whine or ask three times the answer is always no. |
Anonymous
| Never go with your spouse to the grocery store, with or without kids. |
Anonymous
Mine would have known better than to pitch a fit at that age (and they had SN). I would have told them no means no and stop. If they didn't, and were screaming I would have paid for what I had and left. No, I would not have bought it and I'd put it away an not let him have it. |
Anonymous
The problem is that the kids hate hate hate grocery shopping. They never went during Covid and it took us ages to habituate them to the idea of running errands. So I feel that while this would work for most kids, leaving and driving away would function as a reward for my particular kids. That’s why I want to do a timeout in the car and then walk back in and finish shopping. |
Anonymous
| Just got to the store alone. There’s no need to make it a family activity. |
Anonymous
Good point. I didn’t even notice, but that’s another area where DH and I differ. I just buy the stuff. DH wants to get them to try all sorts of new foods. |
Anonymous
That may be the temporary solution until I get DH on board. I just don’t want to leave it here. Kid needs to be able to go on errands and behave. |
Anonymous
Drive away and go home. Then drag them back out to the store. Yes it's a pain, but it shows them you mean business, and bad behavior won't get them out of shopping. |
Anonymous
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Ignoring and time out are both good options, IMHO.
Buying it for him once he calmed down? Oh HELL no. You pitched a fit. No. |