Exhausting To Pretend I’m Poor

[Anonymous]

Never been in this situation. No one at work has ever asked me about a car payment. If they did I would say my cars are paid off (and also they are older). If someone complains about their car payment I would just listen. Why do you feel like you need to pretend to be in the same situation? You can be sympathetic without lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh noooo…it’s so hard…
Get some perspective, for one. This is not a problem.
Second, I have a hard time believing you really need to pretend to be poor. Can’t you choose to not discuss your financial situation like most normal people do?

OP is probably the sort to be mentally rigid and emotionally immature. She must have heard some comments about wealth and now she's gotten it into her head that she'd better lie about her situation. A normal person wouldn't do that, but a hyper anxious or neurodivergent person might.

You need a therapist, OP.

And you need to stop diagnosing strangers on the internet. It’s offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m getting really tired of hiding my financial situation at work to avoid making people uncomfortable. It’s perfectly fine for people to talk about how bad their finances are, but people definitely hold it against you if you are doing well. I don’t have a car payments, bought them with cash. No debt other than mortgage and my parents and in-laws regularly give us money. It’s really annoying to pretend like I have a car payment and credit card debt, and struggling to pay my mortgage. Does anyone else have any tips on how I can be more convincing at pretending like I am struggling financially?

Don't discuss finances. Just say we are managing okay so far.

[Anonymous]

Yes good choices help but at the end of it, its all luck because circumstances can change drastically.

[Anonymous]

Why lie? You like drama.

[Anonymous]

Adopt a houseful of illegals.

[Anonymous]

Maybe just try not to be a jerk and see how that queue out for you..

[Anonymous]

Why would you talk about your personal finances with co workers!! Please don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m getting really tired of hiding my financial situation at work to avoid making people uncomfortable. It’s perfectly fine for people to talk about how bad their finances are, but people definitely hold it against you if you are doing well. I don’t have a car payments, bought them with cash. No debt other than mortgage and my parents and in-laws regularly give us money. It’s really annoying to pretend like I have a car payment and credit card debt, and struggling to pay my mortgage. Does anyone else have any tips on how I can be more convincing at pretending like I am struggling financially?

Why are you taking about things at work. I’ve never discussed debt or car payments with anyone i work with.

Same, that has never come up. We talk generally about "hey, can you believe how expensive eggs are?" but we've never talked about credit card debt, car payments or mortgages.

[Anonymous]

I swear you post once a month. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

It is tough, but KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.

[Anonymous]

Why would you be discussing your mortgage, car payments, or disposable income with people? I don't know why people you know are discussing it either, but you don't have to respond in kind.

Money is a boring and divisive subject. I only discuss it with my closest friends, with whom I can be very real and not worry about judgment.

[Anonymous]

I echo the others confused why this is even coming up. I don’t think I have ever discussed whether I have student loans or a car payment with my coworkers.

Besides, I don’t think either of those things are reflective of someone’s financial status. I don’t have student loans (thanks to my grandparents) or a car payment (because I drive an older car and paid it off quickly) but I know people wealthier than me who have loans (a doctor who makes $400K a year) and car payments (my very wealthy MIL leases a car).

[Anonymous]

Why on earth would you feel like you have to do this? And why would you think someone with car payments is poor?

We have always bought cars with cash even when we're not doing amazing. Our only debt is a mortgage. We get 10K from my parents at Christmas. Our HHI is about 450K and I would estimate my colleagues' HHI averages about 150-220K with some even lower for individuals. They all know I have a higher HHI because they can see my house on Zoom and know where I live and where my kid goes to school and where we travel. Paying cash for a car would NEVER come up, ever. Why would this matter at all?

[Anonymous]

Just keep your big mouth shut when you have nothing honest, useful, or helpful to contribute.