How do you explain this parent behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course it is strange that they did not respond- nearly all normal people would at minimum say something like “oh no! So sorry! Hope he feels better soon!! (Or whatever). I would say that to a stranger, even.

But it isn’t worth over analyzing. Maybe they were in the middle of something & meant to respond further but forgot. Or maybe they are going through something themselves (you never know what is going on in someone else’s life). Also some people are just socially odd for various reasons.

I wouldn’t waste another moment thinking about this. Be happy your son has a good friend, they seem to enjoy hosting him, are responsible hosts (presumably) & leave it at that.

I agree. The OP said they generally like her kid. I do not think their reaction to the accident, which was callous, is a reflection of their feeling's about the OP's child. It has to do with their personalities or something going on or they have a low EQ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They racist

I am a white European by the way. I am sure I am stil invisible to these parents and I don’t care. I don’t have any desire to be friends with them as these episodes show we are worlds apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They racist

I am a white European by the way. I am sure I am stil invisible to these parents and I don’t care. I don’t have any desire to be friends with them as these episodes show we are worlds apart.

Perhaps they sound elitist? It would be irritating to have to interact with such people but yes, it’s good your kid has some nice friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. I am just rethinking that reaction in light of the more recent incident related to friend 2.

Yes, relationship with parents is transactional but friendly. In the same way I was complimented about my DC (beyond the transactional messages), I could have received an expression of concern.

I am not looking for trouble. In fact my DC relationships with friends continue as usual, and my behavior with both parents is unchanged too (friendly).

Carry on!

[Anonymous]

How to explain their behavior? Who knows? Plenty of possible explanations here. You can choose to believe they are callous unfeeling users or you can choose to believe they are just busy or whatever.

Are you overreacting by being sad and posting about it here? Yes.

[Anonymous]

Well, overreacting would be something like cutting ties or anything in real life. Posting about it anonymously doesn’t sound like it..

[Anonymous]

I agree with you that it does feel odd, and as if they only care about your child as a fun companion for their child.

My kid is best friends with a kid whose parents are very busy and not available for much conversation. But even they, when I told them about my child's medical troubles, knew to express the right level of concern and sympathy.

Well at least you know what to expect going forward. Sorry the parents aren't all you expected them to be, OP.

[Anonymous]

Highly possible they did not even read it closely. I do not read these kinds of things with full attention as I’m usually multi-tasking/on a conference call/whatever. Also possible they meant to reply but got pulled away. Regardless, I always give benefit of doubt on text communications and instead go off in person interactions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re way overreacting and expecting too much. Your text probably caught them at a busy moment and they made a plan to follow up later, or just forget. Or they asked their kid and their kid said “oh yeah, he’s fine” or who knows what. You ask too much of people.

+1

[Anonymous]

Could friend #1 have told his parents already about the car accident and told them your son is physically OK? They may not have wanted to make a big deal out of it if they already heard he’s uninjured. I can see them potentially not wanting to be embarrassingly over effusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could friend #1 have told his parents already about the car accident and told them your son is physically OK? They may not have wanted to make a big deal out of it if they already heard he’s uninjured. I can see them potentially not wanting to be embarrassingly over effusive.

OP here. Parent of friend 1 typically reads and replies to messages (all kids-related) promptly. I doubt they didn’t read. And my child did get injured, although they recovered, and has a scar to this day. Anyway this behavior shows lack of respect and consideration for sure towards me and I think my son too. If somebody they value more had written the some message they would have not replied with a like. They would have probably taken the initiative to ask about my child’s health when they heard about the accident from somebody else, as it happened with other parents.

Anyway I really don’t care about people like this. It’s just makes me sad to raise my kids in this kind of village with such cut-throat people. And I have not told you about the incident related to friend 2, which is even worse.

[Anonymous]

I agree that was rude of them, OP. Some people lack basic empathy and tact. I’d distance myself. Curious to hear about the second friend. Btw, my kids have stopped being friends with kids who were rude or mean, snd often, but not always, their spoiled behavior reflected their parents. No loss if you ask me.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids. I have probably been on both sides of not being the not giving sad emoji or alarming text emoji person during Covid and receiving end when taking a child to ER. Yes, the normal thing is to say that he feels better soon.

There are some kids my kid is friends with that I have no relationship with parents besides driving. Then there are others whose parents are my adult friends. You never know what is going on in that house or at that moment. Were they with other people and sent the text for their son? My daughter constantly asks me to text so and so’s mom to ask if she can come over. Sometimes I am driving when I receive responses or if I’m at dinner, I don’t look at my phone. They could be fighting, on a work call, so many things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They racist

I am a white European by the way. I am sure I am stil invisible to these parents and I don’t care. I don’t have any desire to be friends with them as these episodes show we are worlds apart.

How injured was he?

I think the parents may think the injury was no big deal depending if it was a bruise or a broken bone. I would react like a normal person but some people may think it was not serious.

It doesn’t sound like you are friends with parents. Kids can continue to be friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could friend #1 have told his parents already about the car accident and told them your son is physically OK? They may not have wanted to make a big deal out of it if they already heard he’s uninjured. I can see them potentially not wanting to be embarrassingly over effusive.

OP here. Parent of friend 1 typically reads and replies to messages (all kids-related) promptly. I doubt they didn’t read. And my child did get injured, although they recovered, and has a scar to this day. Anyway this behavior shows lack of respect and consideration for sure towards me and I think my son too. If somebody they value more had written the some message they would have not replied with a like. They would have probably taken the initiative to ask about my child’s health when they heard about the accident from somebody else, as it happened with other parents.

Anyway I really don’t care about people like this. It’s just makes me sad to raise my kids in this kind of village with such cut-throat people. And I have not told you about the incident related to friend 2, which is even worse.

Honestly you sound exhausting and like a full drama queen. That doesn’t mean you can’t find your tribe and live a happy healthy life, but I wouldn’t be the right close friend for you and I would probably be able to tell pretty quick. The parents may just be keeping a healthy distance. If I were your friend, you would be constantly dragging me into conflicts about what I did or didn’t do right by you and it would fizzle quickly.

If you posted the full car accident text, I bet it’s dripping with drama and the other parent just treated it like a hot stove.