As an Atheist, what do you tell your little kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an atheist, one of my strongest convictions to my children is NOT lying to them about magic sky daddy or having them believe fake things to comfort them. Obviously ymmv, but that was one thing I hated about religion and one thing I was determined not to do to my kids. So I don't really get the point.

I mean, that’s what I think for kids once they’re older. But for me, I think (and maybe that’s a me problem) my kids would feel better thinking there’s something else out there…just while they’re really young. Since Christmas just passed, I keep thinking of this like Santa…

Do some research and listen to anyone that has deconverted from or deconstructed their religious beliefs . One of the hardest things for them to give up, sometimes the very thing that causes them the most pain, is the belief that there is a life after death. I think making them believe that (which is what you are doing because you are their parent and they will believe what you tell them) and then expecting it to be ok is very wrong . It is NOT like finding out there is no Santa . It is extremely harmful .
Thinking there is no life after death is scary on some level, but it also lends more value and beauty and importance to the one life we KNOW we are all living right now

[Anonymous]

This is an interesting perspective and I’ll definitely do some research, thank you PP! Luckily, I’ve only played this card once when my son was 2 and we had to put down our old dog. He asked where she was and I panicked and said heaven. He doesn’t remember the dog at all and there hasn’t been any other death (close to us) so I think I lucked out. When it happens to my parents (who I’m sure will have a Catholic funeral because it’s what they want) or in-laws, I’ll be better prepared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t sound like an atheist, you sound like someone that needs to heal their relationship with their perception of religion.

OP sounds like an atheist to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an atheist, one of my strongest convictions to my children is NOT lying to them about magic sky daddy or having them believe fake things to comfort them. Obviously ymmv, but that was one thing I hated about religion and one thing I was determined not to do to my kids. So I don't really get the point.

I kno an atheist whose Adult children thanked her for not making them believe in fairytales, including religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not feel comforted by a god at all. I think if there is one, god is too busy to pay attention to me. And when someone dies I'm either comforted that they're "done" (they were old and finished living) or they're not tortured anymore (eating disorder, addiction, mental illness), or I'm not, but I miss them just the same.

You're trying to decide that not only should your kids believe in a god, but how they should feel about its presence. That's ... a lot.

Okay, that’s fair, I’m assuming they’d be comforted by the presence of God while they’re little. I figured it’s sort of like Santa?

God is not Santa. WTF? The two are nothing at all alike. Why are you assuming they will believe in god when little? Do you know anything about child development? Young kids have a VERY hard time understanding abstract concepts, which god is. Why are you assuming someone who can see them but they can't see will feel comforting rather than creepy and weird? You seem to have very firm preconceived notions about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not an atheist -- I'm Jewish -- but FWIW, I don't generally feel like anyone is out there watching over me, nor have I taught my children that.

Same. Are they watching me when I poop?! When I make a dirty face at a recipe I don't understand? Like, they're watching over me to do ... what, with the information they gather?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an interesting perspective and I’ll definitely do some research, thank you PP! Luckily, I’ve only played this card once when my son was 2 and we had to put down our old dog. He asked where she was and I panicked and said heaven. He doesn’t remember the dog at all and there hasn’t been any other death (close to us) so I think I lucked out. When it happens to my parents (who I’m sure will have a Catholic funeral because it’s what they want) or in-laws, I’ll be better prepared.

"The dog was finished living so the vet took her body away after it stopped working. The dog's heart stopped, so blood stopped pumping, ..." etc. Heaven means nothing.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think my kids would be comforted by a higher power watching over them, because if you’re not raised with religion, that’s pretty creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think my kids would be comforted by a higher power watching over them, because if you’re not raised with religion, that’s pretty creepy.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is an interesting perspective and I’ll definitely do some research, thank you PP! Luckily, I’ve only played this card once when my son was 2 and we had to put down our old dog. He asked where she was and I panicked and said heaven. He doesn’t remember the dog at all and there hasn’t been any other death (close to us) so I think I lucked out. When it happens to my parents (who I’m sure will have a Catholic funeral because it’s what they want) or in-laws, I’ll be better prepared.

"The dog was finished living so the vet took her body away after it stopped working. The dog's heart stopped, so blood stopped pumping, ..." etc. Heaven means nothing.

Excellent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think my kids would be comforted by a higher power watching over them, because if you’re not raised with religion, that’s pretty creepy.

Okay, that’s fair. This is all really helpful for me to hear. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an atheist, one of my strongest convictions to my children is NOT lying to them about magic sky daddy or having them believe fake things to comfort them. Obviously ymmv, but that was one thing I hated about religion and one thing I was determined not to do to my kids. So I don't really get the point.

Your hostile terms for the deity you claim not to believe in suggest both deeply held belief and disappointment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not feel comforted by a god at all. I think if there is one, god is too busy to pay attention to me. And when someone dies I'm either comforted that they're "done" (they were old and finished living) or they're not tortured anymore (eating disorder, addiction, mental illness), or I'm not, but I miss them just the same.

You're trying to decide that not only should your kids believe in a god, but how they should feel about its presence. That's ... a lot.

Okay, that’s fair, I’m assuming they’d be comforted by the presence of God while they’re little. I figured it’s sort of like Santa?

God is not Santa. WTF? The two are nothing at all alike. Why are you assuming they will believe in god when little? Do you know anything about child development? Young kids have a VERY hard time understanding abstract concepts, which god is. Why are you assuming someone who can see them but they can't see will feel comforting rather than creepy and weird? You seem to have very firm preconceived notions about this.

That’s exactly why I’m posting this, because I have no idea if they would think god or some natural energy watching over them would be scary. Many of you have said it would creep them out - which is valuable feedback. This has helped me think through this - thank you! (And okay, maybe god isn’t similar to Santa…maybe Jesus would have been a better comparison).

My parents, on the other hand, routinely give my kids religious tokens that they get for free in the mail (think a cross with Jesus, prayer cards, picture of Pope, etc.). They pray before every meal, and my son looks at me like “WTF are they doing?” They also asked me why I didn’t set up the Christmas nativity set they gave me. Ughh. I’m wondering how to explain this all to my son while still being respectful to my parents and siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m an atheist but I want my kids (5 and 2.5) to feel comforted, like there’s something else out there watching over them whenever they’re scared or sad. And I want them to be comforted when someone dies.

I love the idea of heaven, and have told them our dog went to heaven when she died. I’m treating heaven like Santa (which should buy me some time). Instead of praying before bed or a meal, my son and I sometimes list all the things we’re grateful for in this life (health, modern medicine, cookies, toys, our house, family, friends, school, etc).

By way of background, I was raised Catholic - baptized, communion, confirmation, and church every Sunday. My two siblings are also religious. Then there’s me…I could never get into it, thought it was boring and difficult to understand, disliked all of the contradictions and HATED the whole “you’re a sinner and damned if you do/don’t do abc/xyz…go to church, have sex before marriage, are gay, etc). I will admit, however, that when I’ve been in very scary situations, I’ve asked “God” to keep me safe which made me feel better in the moment. My parents told me things would change once I had kids and “I’d come back to the church.” Well, that obviously hasn’t happened. I never baptized my kids, nor do we belong or go to a church. As far as Christianity, I believe Jesus was probably a great guy and/or an excellent politician. I don’t believe in the immaculate conception or any of those other stories (turning water into wine, etc.)). I just can’t deal with all of the BS that goes with Christianity or any other religion.

I love the idea of a “higher-power” - perhaps I can call it an energy? Love the cosmos and science behind it all. So what do you call this? Being spiritual? How do other people handle these situations with kids? Should I call it God, a spirit, energy, or something else?

If you’re an atheist, what do you tell your little kids when you want them to feel like a higher power or energy is watching over them?

Seriously?
You don't know what higher power is watching over your own kids?!!?!

[Anonymous]

Let the man preach