Don’t want to cut off, but also no desire for a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Trdefrnd child as needed, but otherwise, treat like the coworker you hate. Avoid as possible, don't engage. I wouldn't even discuss with other relatives because they'll try to convince you to understand and make nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, your relative is Jewish and your children are not?

Other way around, lol. But thanks for reiterating yet again the background anti-semitism!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, your relative is Jewish and your children are not?

Other way around, lol. But thanks for reiterating yet again the background anti-semitism!

DP. I was thinking relative was evangelistic Christian and kid was Jewish since that has been my experience with this intolerant behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, your relative is Jewish and your children are not?

Other way around, lol. But thanks for reiterating yet again the background anti-semitism!

DP. I was thinking relative was evangelistic Christian and kid was Jewish since that has been my experience with this intolerant behavior.

relative is a limousine liberal who was making a hip anti-Semitic comment he thought was amusing. Like wink wink nod nod all Jews are sneaky

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dysfunctional family systems will do anything to try to preserve the big family gathering and pretend things are fine. You now know they are not going to be supportive. Just detach from the problematic person and if they rest of the family tries to push you together maintain silent boundaries. Let them have their denial. Show no emotion. Just say "no, I won't be going to Lulu's house." When they tell you Lulu has been through a lot and she is just a victim, just show no emotion and either make an excuse to go to the bathroom or change the subject.

[phone] x 5

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, your relative is Jewish and your children are not?

Other way around, lol. But thanks for reiterating yet again the background anti-semitism!

DP. I was thinking relative was evangelistic Christian and kid was Jewish since that has been my experience with this intolerant behavior.

relative is a limousine liberal who was making a hip anti-Semitic comment he thought was amusing. Like wink wink nod nod all Jews are sneaky

I don’t know any liberals who wouldn’t find that highly offensive. Anti semitism isn’t hip in liberal circles at all.

The guys a jerk. Ghost him and don’t engage with relatives who try to push you into playing nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, your relative is Jewish and your children are not?

Other way around, lol. But thanks for reiterating yet again the background anti-semitism!

DP. I was thinking relative was evangelistic Christian and kid was Jewish since that has been my experience with this intolerant behavior.

relative is a limousine liberal who was making a hip anti-Semitic comment he thought was amusing. Like wink wink nod nod all Jews are sneaky

I don’t know any liberals who wouldn’t find that highly offensive. Anti semitism isn’t hip in liberal circles at all.

The guys a jerk. Ghost him and don’t engage with relatives who try to push you into playing nice.

Antisemitism is absolutely part of the new woke. I say this as one who tended to lean progressive until the aftermath of October 7th.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could also try not being so sensitive and realize that the guy made a bad joke. Remember a time when people could say dumb things and we would just be like hey man that sucks!? Instead of all this talk about cutting someone out of your life forever.

Looks like someone's being sensitive. Wah, wah, people are calling me out on my misogyny and prejudice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, your relative is Jewish and your children are not?

Other way around, lol. But thanks for reiterating yet again the background anti-semitism!

DP. I was thinking relative was evangelistic Christian and kid was Jewish since that has been my experience with this intolerant behavior.

relative is a limousine liberal who was making a hip anti-Semitic comment he thought was amusing. Like wink wink nod nod all Jews are sneaky

I don’t know any liberals who wouldn’t find that highly offensive. Anti semitism isn’t hip in liberal circles at all.

The guys a jerk. Ghost him and don’t engage with relatives who try to push you into playing nice.

Antisemitism is absolutely part of the new woke. I say this as one who tended to lean progressive until the aftermath of October 7th.

I was prepared to talk about Gaza actually but not for the casual anti-Semitic “joke”! I do feel like it was evidence that it’s ok in some circles to say those things now (as long as there are no Jews around). I feel like the Gaza convo would have been totally normal unless he did something weird like demand that I recite that Israel is committing genocide if I brought up my kid’s bar mitzvah prep. (which is actually the kind of thing he’d do …)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No need to have a big ‘ breakup’ conversation but what did you say when they made the offensive joke???

nothing. it was so shocking that I just went into another room and stayed there the rest of the night until they left.

Welp, that’s on you. You should have addressed it then, but now wants a big break up convo?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, your relative is Jewish and your children are not?

Other way around, lol. But thanks for reiterating yet again the background anti-semitism!

DP. I was thinking relative was evangelistic Christian and kid was Jewish since that has been my experience with this intolerant behavior.

relative is a limousine liberal who was making a hip anti-Semitic comment he thought was amusing. Like wink wink nod nod all Jews are sneaky

I don’t know any liberals who wouldn’t find that highly offensive. Anti semitism isn’t hip in liberal circles at all.

The guys a jerk. Ghost him and don’t engage with relatives who try to push you into playing nice.

Antisemitism is absolutely part of the new woke. I say this as one who tended to lean progressive until the aftermath of October 7th.

I was prepared to talk about Gaza actually but not for the casual anti-Semitic “joke”! I do feel like it was evidence that it’s ok in some circles to say those things now (as long as there are no Jews around). I feel like the Gaza convo would have been totally normal unless he did something weird like demand that I recite that Israel is committing genocide if I brought up my kid’s bar mitzvah prep. (which is actually the kind of thing he’d do …)

Ok, OP, exactly what did he say?
And how could you have not reacted on the spot??
I’m Christian and at least would have uttered an ‘WTF dude’
Also, people can acknowledge and realize that Oct 7th was horrible and terrorism is awful and not tolerated , Hamas should be held accountable AND think that what the Israeli government is doing is genocide.
Those ideas are not mutually exclusive, not anti-Semitic and not fodder for a joke or a slight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, your relative is Jewish and your children are not?

Other way around, lol. But thanks for reiterating yet again the background anti-semitism!

DP. I was thinking relative was evangelistic Christian and kid was Jewish since that has been my experience with this intolerant behavior.

relative is a limousine liberal who was making a hip anti-Semitic comment he thought was amusing. Like wink wink nod nod all Jews are sneaky

I don’t know any liberals who wouldn’t find that highly offensive. Anti semitism isn’t hip in liberal circles at all.

The guys a jerk. Ghost him and don’t engage with relatives who try to push you into playing nice.

Antisemitism is absolutely part of the new woke. I say this as one who tended to lean progressive until the aftermath of October 7th.

I was prepared to talk about Gaza actually but not for the casual anti-Semitic “joke”! I do feel like it was evidence that it’s ok in some circles to say those things now (as long as there are no Jews around). I feel like the Gaza convo would have been totally normal unless he did something weird like demand that I recite that Israel is committing genocide if I brought up my kid’s bar mitzvah prep. (which is actually the kind of thing he’d do …)

Ok, OP, exactly what did he say?
And how could you have not reacted on the spot??
I’m Christian and at least would have uttered an ‘WTF dude’
Also, people can acknowledge and realize that Oct 7th was horrible and terrorism is awful and not tolerated , Hamas should be held accountable AND think that what the Israeli government is doing is genocide.
Those ideas are not mutually exclusive, not anti-Semitic and not fodder for a joke or a slight.

Gaza actually wasn’t part of the conversation but thanks for the lecture. I’m sure relative also would love to lecture me about what is and is not anti-Semitic, which is partly why I didn’t respond. And he had already gone off at me on an unrelated matter, so I had zero interest in discussing it with him at that time and creating more conflict at the holiday gathering. I just left the room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No need to have a big ‘ breakup’ conversation but what did you say when they made the offensive joke???

nothing. it was so shocking that I just went into another room and stayed there the rest of the night until they left.

Welp, that’s on you. You should have addressed it then, but now wants a big break up convo?

That’s not what I said … And no, I didn’t want a big confrontation at that moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, your relative is Jewish and your children are not?

Other way around, lol. But thanks for reiterating yet again the background anti-semitism!

DP. I was thinking relative was evangelistic Christian and kid was Jewish since that has been my experience with this intolerant behavior.

relative is a limousine liberal who was making a hip anti-Semitic comment he thought was amusing. Like wink wink nod nod all Jews are sneaky

I don’t know any liberals who wouldn’t find that highly offensive. Anti semitism isn’t hip in liberal circles at all.

The guys a jerk. Ghost him and don’t engage with relatives who try to push you into playing nice.

Antisemitism is absolutely part of the new woke. I say this as one who tended to lean progressive until the aftermath of October 7th.

I was prepared to talk about Gaza actually but not for the casual anti-Semitic “joke”! I do feel like it was evidence that it’s ok in some circles to say those things now (as long as there are no Jews around). I feel like the Gaza convo would have been totally normal unless he did something weird like demand that I recite that Israel is committing genocide if I brought up my kid’s bar mitzvah prep. (which is actually the kind of thing he’d do …)

Ok, OP, exactly what did he say?
And how could you have not reacted on the spot??
I’m Christian and at least would have uttered an ‘WTF dude’
Also, people can acknowledge and realize that Oct 7th was horrible and terrorism is awful and not tolerated , Hamas should be held accountable AND think that what the Israeli government is doing is genocide.
Those ideas are not mutually exclusive, not anti-Semitic and not fodder for a joke or a slight.

Gaza actually wasn’t part of the conversation but thanks for the lecture. I’m sure relative also would love to lecture me about what is and is not anti-Semitic, which is partly why I didn’t respond. And he had already gone off at me on an unrelated matter, so I had zero interest in discussing it with him at that time and creating more conflict at the holiday gathering. I just left the room.

Like I said, Well that is sort of on you.
I do not tolerate racism or anti-semitism or any -ism in my presence, especially if directed towards my child.
But that was your choice, if others want to tell you the “joke” was not offensive, tell them to kick rocks.
But now you want to make a big deal of ‘breaking off’ the relationship. Just leave his crazy a** alone. Why do you need to crowd source this with your whole extended family????
If he says something out of turn, go off on him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess, your relative is Jewish and your children are not?

Other way around, lol. But thanks for reiterating yet again the background anti-semitism!

DP. I was thinking relative was evangelistic Christian and kid was Jewish since that has been my experience with this intolerant behavior.

relative is a limousine liberal who was making a hip anti-Semitic comment he thought was amusing. Like wink wink nod nod all Jews are sneaky

I don’t know any liberals who wouldn’t find that highly offensive. Anti semitism isn’t hip in liberal circles at all.

The guys a jerk. Ghost him and don’t engage with relatives who try to push you into playing nice.

Antisemitism is absolutely part of the new woke. I say this as one who tended to lean progressive until the aftermath of October 7th.

I was prepared to talk about Gaza actually but not for the casual anti-Semitic “joke”! I do feel like it was evidence that it’s ok in some circles to say those things now (as long as there are no Jews around). I feel like the Gaza convo would have been totally normal unless he did something weird like demand that I recite that Israel is committing genocide if I brought up my kid’s bar mitzvah prep. (which is actually the kind of thing he’d do …)

Ok, OP, exactly what did he say?
And how could you have not reacted on the spot??
I’m Christian and at least would have uttered an ‘WTF dude’
Also, people can acknowledge and realize that Oct 7th was horrible and terrorism is awful and not tolerated , Hamas should be held accountable AND think that what the Israeli government is doing is genocide.
Those ideas are not mutually exclusive, not anti-Semitic and not fodder for a joke or a slight.

Gaza actually wasn’t part of the conversation but thanks for the lecture. I’m sure relative also would love to lecture me about what is and is not anti-Semitic, which is partly why I didn’t respond. And he had already gone off at me on an unrelated matter, so I had zero interest in discussing it with him at that time and creating more conflict at the holiday gathering. I just left the room.

Like I said, Well that is sort of on you.
I do not tolerate racism or anti-semitism or any -ism in my presence, especially if directed towards my child.
But that was your choice, if others want to tell you the “joke” was not offensive, tell them to kick rocks.
But now you want to make a big deal of ‘breaking off’ the relationship. Just leave his crazy a** alone. Why do you need to crowd source this with your whole extended family????
If he says something out of turn, go off on him.

you totally failed to read my OP. I don’t want to make a big deal - that’s the whole point. I want it to go away. my kid actually wasn’t there at the time but probably my reaction would have been different. I’m still mulling over what to do.