Is it responsible to spend 90K/yr in education?

[Anonymous]

The real problem is that families who decline public college don't get a tax deduction for donating their seat to another student.

[Anonymous]

I do not regret sending my kid to an expensive private uni. I'm not doing it in the hope he will find a higher-paying job. He has autism and with that comes a lot of anxiety. It was very important to find the right fit for college. My goal is to keep him on a successful path until he can fend for himself... which I hope will happen at some point.

And since I do this for one kid, I will do that for the other as well - she will be able to choose whatever college she wants.

With the money we have, I believe we can afford to do this, but would it be better to invest that money in the stock market instead? I don't know. There is no way of knowing whether outcomes would be different if they'd gone/will go to community college, or State U. I'm trying to do the best I can with the data at hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest DS was accepted to both Northwestern University (90K/yr), and University of Virginia (40K/year) in 2020, and he decided to attend Northwestern University. The total cost of attendance is around 360K. His cousin attended UVA in 2020 (he was also accepted by Northwestern), and both he and DS received the same job at the same company. They both studied the same major, but his cousin has 200K in savings for not going to Northwestern. He will take my DS a long time to save up to 200K in post-tax money.

My younger DS is a HS senior, and I explained to him that if he should go to UVA, if accepted, because it would set him up much better financially for the future. I will invest that 200K towards his retirement. Not sure if I am doing the right thing here. Thoughts?

Unless your son was so academically advanced that the UVA Honors program would be a letdown, he was stupid. But it's hard to blame a kid for not understanding lifetime finances. That's on you. You basically played the role of a predatory loan officer, but you weren't even paid for it. You played your self and your family.

[Anonymous]

You can't eat money.

What did you need that $200K?
Northwestern is better than mindless consumerism.

[Anonymous]

Even my 10-year old knows not to blow his inheritance on expensive university when cheaper one will do.
The older one will go to CC first before transferring somewhere else.
They also know not to buy a home in our neighborhood, but rent it instead and invest the down payment and the extra it takes to own.
It's math for us as there are no special needs and neither of them need any help by going to a better university or be among 'better' peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest DS was accepted to both Northwestern University (90K/yr), and University of Virginia (40K/year) in 2020, and he decided to attend Northwestern University. The total cost of attendance is around 360K. His cousin attended UVA in 2020 (he was also accepted by Northwestern), and both he and DS received the same job at the same company. They both studied the same major, but his cousin has 200K in savings for not going to Northwestern. He will take my DS a long time to save up to 200K in post-tax money.

My younger DS is a HS senior, and I explained to him that if he should go to UVA, if accepted, because it would set him up much better financially for the future. I will invest that 200K towards his retirement. Not sure if I am doing the right thing here. Thoughts?

First, yes Northwestern is an amazing school (Proud Alum). But unless you can truly afford the 90K, no school is worth it. By afford I mean, you have it all saved/earmarked for education, have fully saved for retirement (no scrimping on being prepared for your retirement so kid can attend elite school) and are not in massive debt otherwise. If not, then you attend UVA and enjoy not being in debt and/or having extra money for grad school/first car/down payment.


Because yes the fact is, plenty of kids will attend other schools and get the exact same job (often with the exact same pay) as your kid at a T25 school.

I only attended NU because I got significant FA making it cheaper than all of the state schools and other OOS schools I applied to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is incredible how expensive college is in this country. Even if you are a multi millionaire and money is not an issue, we should not normalize $100k/year for a college education.

It's not normal. It's elite luxury.

Community college, state university, and private means-based pricing all cost far less than $100k/yr

It only costs $100k/yr if you are so rich you can easily afford it, or if you are upper middle class and are paying extra to try to fool people into thinking your kid is smarter than they are at a reach college where they are below average.

If you have saved for college, also saved properly for retirement and are not is massive debt (no debt beyond mortgage and cars), then sure go for it. But in reality, I wouldn't do it unless I also had no debt for cars and mortgage. I'd rather my kid have $200K for grad school or starting out life (car/down payment). Because yes, you do NOT make anymore because of the elite school. Debt is not worth it.

[Anonymous]

I saved enough in 529 plans for my kids to go to Northwestern, and I don't plan to gift them money beyond their education and a car. If they don't use it all on undergrad, they can go to graduate school, or I'll give it to their children someday. I think the gift of a fully funded degree is enough to get them going and save their own money while their peers are paying off loans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't eat money.

What did you need that $200K?
Northwestern is better than mindless consumerism.

I went to Northwestern and there's a degree to which high sticker education is consumerism and then leads to more consumerism. I went to NU when it was half the cost it was today and there was an extent to which the fact that most of my classmates were high income led to other consumer pressures. When I went over 20 years ago, more than 60% of kids came from families with incomes over 200k/year. People expected you to have money for expensive outings and food and such. There were things like summer programs I would have liked to do, but financial aid didn't cover them and I didn't have the money.

Those of us who were the financial aid kids generally knew each other because we ran in the same circles getting extra money. Business studies, psychology studies, giving tours, work study jobs, etc.

Point is, I did the thing, have the degree to show it, but I'm somewhat cynical about it. I know people from NU who did well, I know people who still relied on their parents post graduation. I do think the financial realities I faced prepped me well post college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s silly, no matter how much money you have.
If kid is brilliant, they will get merit scholarship .
If they are not, then college not for them.
Just my opinion.

The best schools either don't offer merit or only offer a couple a year.

Well gosh, it sure is unfair that not everyone can go to to the "best" schools.

Wherever your brilliant kid goes is the best school, because your kid is there, getting top grade in advanced courses and working with brilliant professors who give special attention to your star.

Just like everything else in life---not everyone can afford everything. Most kids don't go to the "best public schools" because their parents cannot afford to live in that district. But they still can get a great education---because 90%+ of education starts at home with the ethics and attitudes taught by parents.

Most people don't drive a $75K+ vehicle, most drive a 20-30K vehicle because that is what they can afford. They still have a safe vehicle to transport them around.

You spend what you can afford, as with all things in life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest DS was accepted to both Northwestern University (90K/yr), and University of Virginia (40K/year) in 2020, and he decided to attend Northwestern University. The total cost of attendance is around 360K. His cousin attended UVA in 2020 (he was also accepted by Northwestern), and both he and DS received the same job at the same company. They both studied the same major, but his cousin has 200K in savings for not going to Northwestern. He will take my DS a long time to save up to 200K in post-tax money.

My younger DS is a HS senior, and I explained to him that if he should go to UVA, if accepted, because it would set him up much better financially for the future. I will invest that 200K towards his retirement. Not sure if I am doing the right thing here. Thoughts?

OP, you made a big mistake with your oldest DS even allowing an expensive out of state option on the table.

Our DD faced a similar dilemma. She was adamant about attending NYU and was accepted into both UVA and NYU. We forced her to go to UVA, which easily saved $45K per year / $180K total.

Then, she turned around and got an MS from NYU after her BS from UVA and still had plenty of money left over.

So:

Option 1 = BS NYU w/ no money leftover

Vs.

Option 2 = BS UVA + MS NYU + $50K leftover for jump starting career

The choice is obvious. DD was so happy we forced her hand. She graduated last year, now lives in Manhattan, and is making $245K per year in Finance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even my 10-year old knows not to blow his inheritance on expensive university when cheaper one will do.
The older one will go to CC first before transferring somewhere else.
They also know not to buy a home in our neighborhood, but rent it instead and invest the down payment and the extra it takes to own.
It's math for us as there are no special needs and neither of them need any help by going to a better university or be among 'better' peers.

That's terrible financial advice. What other investment lets you have as much leverage and gives you tax breaks on both the interest and the capital gains?

[Anonymous]

Your kid didn’t get any scholarships from northwestern? Vast majority of college students get *some* aid or scholarship money. If not, don’t go to that school unless you got the money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid didn’t get any scholarships from northwestern? Vast majority of college students get *some* aid or scholarship money. If not, don’t go to that school unless you got the money

NU doesn't do merit scholarships. They offer financial aid (I got financial aid) but it's income based. Given this poster can give their kid 200k, I doubt they qualify for income based aid.

[Anonymous]

This is not even a question. UVA all the way.

Private school tuition is for the birds. Unless money is no object, it is really not worth it. A UVA grad will get just as far (perhaps further without debt) than any Northwestern grad.

My kids are not allowed to apply to private schools. There's no point