Call your college student

[Anonymous]

Why were you not talking before? Don’t tell others to call their kids when you would not.

[Anonymous]

I text my son about every other day, but sometimes I realize we haven’t spoken in over a week and then I feel bad and call. It’s good to hear his voice.

[Anonymous]

This is good advice! And good timing with midterm stress. Nobody called or cared after I turned 18. When I did talk with my parents it was mostly judgment or blame why I was in some routine situation or another.

Listening without judgment or advice is so important to helping our kids thrive and for us to maintain lifelong, healthy bonds with our children. And increase the potential that they won’t be afraid to come to us when serious trouble arises.

There are lots of parents on here that will eventually be part of the 25% that their kids will go no contact. Not OP though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Such drama

That attitude will have them bottle up their problems until they reach a dangerous crisis point.

Oh spare me. Most of us don’t need to be reminded to talk to our children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of ridiculous. So a college kid is struggling with a class. That has been going on for decades. This is not special. They can drop the class, get a tutor, fail it, ask to do extra credit, whatever. This shouldn't require a long talk with Mommy and Daddy.

Do you ever talk things through with a spouse, friend, parent, or coworker? Are you an island unto yourself, 100% self-reliant?

[Anonymous]

The problem I have with OP’s post is that it’s so damned smug. Who is SHE to advise us how to parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of ridiculous. So a college kid is struggling with a class. That has been going on for decades. This is not special. They can drop the class, get a tutor, fail it, ask to do extra credit, whatever. This shouldn't require a long talk with Mommy and Daddy.

Even if they know their options, they still might have feelings about it and it's totally appropriate and good for children -- even adult children -- to talk about their feelings and worries with their parents.

What do your children tell you? I bet nothing.

Everyone, EVERYONE should have some one they can talk to, discussion options, problem solve with. If that is their parents fantastic! I don't understand this "just deal with it culture". The mental health and wellness of our college and high school age students has become a significant issue - we need to be there for them - as the OP to listen - why is this so hard to understand?

[Anonymous]

My son has always chosen me (mom) to brainstorm stuff, advice. Most of it had to do with his sport this semester . I played the same sport and he and I pretty much navigated the entire crazy up and down experience over the years.

I always found my dad to be the one I could go to with anything and up until he died he was often the first call. I’m glad to be that for my kid too. I was really close with my dad. He also could take the worst news and make a joke or say something funny that would lighten my load.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem I have with OP’s post is that it’s so damned smug. Who is SHE to advise us how to parent?

Seriously. She sounds like a parent who thinks the world revolves around her child. Since her child needs a phone call then every college child today needs a phone call.

College students are in a way too connected. I went to college 8hours a way from home and calls were infrequent. At most once a week but it was long distance so sometimes it was once a month. Now with cell phones parents are constantly texting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of ridiculous. So a college kid is struggling with a class. That has been going on for decades. This is not special. They can drop the class, get a tutor, fail it, ask to do extra credit, whatever. This shouldn't require a long talk with Mommy and Daddy.

Wow. I’m so glad both my kids know they can reach out to me when they are stressed out. They always say they feel better after. I feel sorry for your kids PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Love this post.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post underscores the power of talking and having someone who will just LISTEN -- no judgement and unconditional love. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your child which comes from years of hard work and being present. Congratulations on raising a well adjusted adult

This!!

[Anonymous]

Ignore the nasty goblins on this thread.

Be careful about spotlighting the positives. It can give an impression that you're are ignoring the concerns. Be sure to acknowledge the concerns when mentioning the positives for balance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of ridiculous. So a college kid is struggling with a class. That has been going on for decades. This is not special. They can drop the class, get a tutor, fail it, ask to do extra credit, whatever. This shouldn't require a long talk with Mommy and Daddy.

Even if they know their options, they still might have feelings about it and it's totally appropriate and good for children -- even adult children -- to talk about their feelings and worries with their parents.

What do your children tell you? I bet nothing.

This is what college advisors and roommates and friends are for.

Have you ever heard the advice teenagers give each other? Even great kids don’t have enough life skills nor experience to offer great advice. College advisors are hit or miss. Availability is important, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Such drama

NP. No, it’s good advice.