Call your college student

[Anonymous]

My college student texted something that sounded stressed out. I called them.

We spoke for quite some time, and they shared their worries. They had a situation at work and, while acing several classes, struggle mightily with one subject despite attending study sessions and working with a tutor.

I did my best to put a spotlight on what's going well with most of their classes. Yes, one class is not going well at all. I share this "bad" news to show this kid of mine is not perfect because so many here say they have the perfect kid attending Harvard, etc.

Mostly, I let them speak. Spouse asked if they wanted advice. They said they just wanted to talk, so we didn't give advice.

This might be a good time to reach out to your college students. See how they are. Do your best not to give advice unless they specifically ask for it. Listen to them.

I wish I'd had someone who would have done that for me.

[Anonymous]

Amen

[Anonymous]

Such drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Such drama

That attitude will have them bottle up their problems until they reach a dangerous crisis point.

[Anonymous]

A thoughtful post!

[Anonymous]

This is kind of ridiculous. So a college kid is struggling with a class. That has been going on for decades. This is not special. They can drop the class, get a tutor, fail it, ask to do extra credit, whatever. This shouldn't require a long talk with Mommy and Daddy.

[Anonymous]

Thanks! Hope this takes off some of the pressure

[Anonymous]

op -- nice post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of ridiculous. So a college kid is struggling with a class. That has been going on for decades. This is not special. They can drop the class, get a tutor, fail it, ask to do extra credit, whatever. This shouldn't require a long talk with Mommy and Daddy.

Really? Feel better? SMH. Some people literally go out of their way to be unpleasant.

[Anonymous]

Love this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of ridiculous. So a college kid is struggling with a class. That has been going on for decades. This is not special. They can drop the class, get a tutor, fail it, ask to do extra credit, whatever. This shouldn't require a long talk with Mommy and Daddy.

Even if they know their options, they still might have feelings about it and it's totally appropriate and good for children -- even adult children -- to talk about their feelings and worries with their parents.

What do your children tell you? I bet nothing.

[Anonymous]

Just listening and validating is such a huge gift, not always easy to do but so worth it

[Anonymous]

This post underscores the power of talking and having someone who will just LISTEN -- no judgement and unconditional love. It sounds like you have a wonderful relationship with your child which comes from years of hard work and being present. Congratulations on raising a well adjusted adult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of ridiculous. So a college kid is struggling with a class. That has been going on for decades. This is not special. They can drop the class, get a tutor, fail it, ask to do extra credit, whatever. This shouldn't require a long talk with Mommy and Daddy.

As an adult, do you not still reach out to friends or family to talk through options or vent about stressful times? Did you stop having meaningful conversations with your parents about what was going on in your life? Do you hope to have meaningful conversations with your adult children in the future?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of ridiculous. So a college kid is struggling with a class. That has been going on for decades. This is not special. They can drop the class, get a tutor, fail it, ask to do extra credit, whatever. This shouldn't require a long talk with Mommy and Daddy.

Even if they know their options, they still might have feelings about it and it's totally appropriate and good for children -- even adult children -- to talk about their feelings and worries with their parents.

What do your children tell you? I bet nothing.

This is what college advisors and roommates and friends are for.