Strivers — this is what you are up against

[Anonymous]

My grandfather was a war refugee with PTSD who was an alcoholic and lived in public housing and couldn’t hold a job.

My dad was at one point on a list of folks considered for a hard science Nobel.

Don’t make up narratives about what you can and can’t accomplish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandfather was a war refugee with PTSD who was an alcoholic and lived in public housing and couldn’t hold a job.

My dad was at one point on a list of folks considered for a hard science Nobel.

Don’t make up narratives about what you can and can’t accomplish.

Also my dad didn’t even go to a fancy undergrad btw. (He did go to a respected but not top PhD program and then fancy, top post-docs. But he wasn’t identified as a talent until early 20s and had only decent high school grades - not surprising given fraught home life).

[Anonymous]

I sense an undertone of envy/jealousy. We don’t know what goes on in any family, privileged or not. And then there are individual things that come into play. Someone can be handed everything and not do a thing with it. And then there are those who succeeded against all odds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was reading about Olympian Kristen Faulkner, who went to Philips Exeter, than Harvard for CS major and competing in crew etc. then of course the Olympics, and all that entails.

I was curious about how she achieved so much, and if you read up on her family history, they ALL went to Philips and Harvard, going back to 1842. Her N-grandfather started a mill, and his sons went to Harvard and ran banks, and real estate development. It goes on for generation to generation.

https://keenenh.gov/sites/default/files/bioAH.pdf

I have hopes for my kids to do well in life, but we are barely middle class and my grandfather couldn’t read, and this is their competition. Oh and AI.

Don't worry. My family is a downwardly mobile version of that Faulkner family because we all love intellectual pursuits more than money, and the MA woolen mill closed due to the rise of cotton in the South, and being carpetbaggers didn't work, and the second wife got all the remaining money, and N father went into the ministry, and the next one married FGLI for love, etc. etc. Throw Williams, an Ivy x 6, and a fancy prep school in for good measure.

We're all educated and happy and medically better off than royals from any time in history up to the 1950s. We have good, meaningful lives but aren't rich. It's honestly o.k.

So my kid might see your kid at a state flagship! They'll make great friends. And on that note, I think two things that are really important to success are:

1) Simple knowledge of opportunities and how to get them. As well as who might fund them for you if you can't pay. The Internet is the inside contact your ancestors never had!

2) Good EQ. My family is thinky, blunt, and not extroverted enough to be successful in today's economy. It must have been a tremendous advantage to be college educated in the 1800s. Today, not much at all. So cultivate people skills as well as academic skills.

Love this perspective/outlook!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m from an immigrant family (2nd generation) and wouldn’t trade our “striver” life for the perks of being more “established”. Everyone has their struggles- they just take on different forms in different milieus. Something l picked up on at my highly selective private college. When my kid went off to their highly selective private college, I warned them that they’ll encounter a lot of privilege there but that doesn’t mean that their own life is lacking or that the privileged “established” classmates’ lives are perfect.

Agree.

I'd add that established people have something to lose, while strivers only have something to gain. There is a HUGE psychological difference between these.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you mean “up against?” It’s precisely such students that draw the strivers to these colleges like moths to a flame.

Agree. Those people are literally the measuring stick of self worth for the striver.

[Anonymous]

There's a popular phrase in track and XC. Run your race.

Constantly looking at other people on the course is going to divert energy and headspace to the task at hand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was reading about Olympian Kristen Faulkner, who went to Philips Exeter, than Harvard for CS major and competing in crew etc. then of course the Olympics, and all that entails.

I was curious about how she achieved so much, and if you read up on her family history, they ALL went to Philips and Harvard, going back to 1842. Her N-grandfather started a mill, and his sons went to Harvard and ran banks, and real estate development. It goes on for generation to generation.

https://keenenh.gov/sites/default/files/bioAH.pdf

I have hopes for my kids to do well in life, but we are barely middle class and my grandfather couldn’t read, and this is their competition. Oh and AI.

Don't worry. My family is a downwardly mobile version of that Faulkner family because we all love intellectual pursuits more than money, and the MA woolen mill closed due to the rise of cotton in the South, and being carpetbaggers didn't work, and the second wife got all the remaining money, and N father went into the ministry, and the next one married FGLI for love, etc. etc. Throw Williams, an Ivy x 6, and a fancy prep school in for good measure.

We're all educated and happy and medically better off than royals from any time in history up to the 1950s. We have good, meaningful lives but aren't rich. It's honestly o.k.

So my kid might see your kid at a state flagship! They'll make great friends. And on that note, I think two things that are really important to success are:

1) Simple knowledge of opportunities and how to get them. As well as who might fund them for you if you can't pay. The Internet is the inside contact your ancestors never had!

2) Good EQ. My family is thinky, blunt, and not extroverted enough to be successful in today's economy. It must have been a tremendous advantage to be college educated in the 1800s. Today, not much at all. So cultivate people skills as well as academic skills.

Love this perspective/outlook!

Yes, my family are similar to yours, PP. Downward mobile. We are introvert and will never be rich. We too have a sense of humor about it.

[Anonymous]

Grandparents didn’t graduate high school. Dad was a cop. I went to a mediocre K-12, graduated magna cum laude from an Ivy, and am now a c-suite exec. Lack of generational wealth has actually been a tremendous motivator for me because there’s nothing to fall back on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a popular phrase in track and XC. Run your race.

Constantly looking at other people on the course is going to divert energy and headspace to the task at hand.

Yup, so all we want is fair and clear rules of the games.

[Anonymous]

It's not a game with rules.

[Anonymous]

OP's example is not a good example of privilege driving success because the Olympian's family clearly is superior. Some people are just smarter and smarts are largely genetic. This doesn't discourage me in the least.

[Anonymous]

OP’s example is just so strange.

Her family isn’t super wealthy in the scheme of things…not even close to Forbes 400.

Surpassed 100x by thousands of ambitious strivers that made their money within the last 30 years.

I honestly don’t get the point at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Big deal. They just started earlier.

With a lot of money

That the family made. OP, why are you stressing about a family you don't even know? All of you T20 or bust people are so narrow minded and pathetic. I feel sorry for your kids.

It’s one lame-o poster.
No life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's a popular phrase in track and XC. Run your race.

Constantly looking at other people on the course is going to divert energy and headspace to the task at hand.

This is all that people do on here though. And then they wonder why their kids didn’t get in to their top schools.

Because they were focused on the wrong race.