How often do you call your DC in college?

[Anonymous]

Nice 🐶

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hardly ever call but they do call at least once a week. To the texter who says goodnight every night, I would just wonder if that is too invasive---do they really need to be thinking about their parents every single night going to bed (or whatever they are doing?).

My two in college always text good night and good morning. They feel safer telling me when they get back to dorm safe and sound if out somewhere at night.

[Anonymous]

2 kids:
#1. Spoke to every few weeks, unless they needed something. Texted sporadically--maybe once a week? I sent pics of the dog just to get some reaction or proof of life. Never gave a lot of details on what they were doing, but appeared happy and successful. They studied abroad one semester and then took a job in Asia right after graduation. Super-independent since childhood.

#2. Texts every day or so, speak to 1-2 times a week, usually initiated by them. I feel overly involved sometimes and wouldn't mind cutting back a little. They had a bit of a rocky start with roommates and classes, so I think they needed me more. And they were always a more emotional and dependent kid.

I think there's no right or wrong. Let your student be the guide on what the communication looks like.

[Anonymous]

DS talks to me or his step dad everyday. If it’s guy stuff - cars, girls, working out, travel, medical, or financial, he calls his step dad. If it’s school, classes, grades, interviews, siblings, or financial, he calls me. We text most days as well.

DS seeks our opinion on things and seems to generally enjoy our conversations. My parents were AWOL when I was in college and I really struggled. They had no idea and didn’t seem to care.

DS has a 3.95 GPA, many friends, and participates in activities. It doesn’t seem to be holding him back by maintaining a close relationship with his family.

[Anonymous]

Text every couple days probably, call every couple weeks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG, I talk to her so darn much. It's actually crazy how much I hear from her. I had to tell her yesterday to please go to dad with her problems because I just couldn't hack it anymore.

That said, she's already been through an ER visit, a horrific roommate situation and then move, we've been sourcing stuff from the community for her new room (like fridge/microwave, TV, etc) so I have to connect her to them from 8 hours away and then yesterday she said she was very sick (likely sinus infection, but also something in her throat). Then, at the end of the day, she called to say she lost her ID. After paying $50, she of course got the email that her original ID had been found. Sonuva ;P

OMG, the drama, y'all - I need a break

She doesn't sound ready to be off to college. She needs to clean up her own messes.

That sounds like covid.

What was the "horrific roommate situation?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hardly ever call but they do call at least once a week. To the texter who says goodnight every night, I would just wonder if that is too invasive---do they really need to be thinking about their parents every single night going to bed (or whatever they are doing?).

I think it's sweet.

[Anonymous]

We've been FaceTiming once a week since my kid started about six weeks ago. And I'm delighted to receive the occasional text. I hope to continue the connection and make the weekly FaceTime a consistent tradition.

When I was in college, I think I probably called my mom maybe once a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all. DS is not very talkative and rarely calls, usually when he needs something. When I call he is polite and chats a little, then says he has to go, class, study etc. How often do you call your DC if they are not necessarily thrilled to hear from you?

We're on senior year and this is the conversation verbatim to this day. He's got a 4.0 and two majors so I don't cudgel him with the power of the purse unless I have to. If he was a mediocre student pursuing an Art History degree he wouldn't get that much leeway with me paying the bills. Though I do believe this will be more prominent with boys vs. girls.

[Anonymous]

My sophomore usually calls me every day on his way to class or between classes and gives me the rundown of what he has going on.

He did call noticeably less last spring when he had a girlfriend though.

[Anonymous]

Current college senior (dd), almost entirely texting. Sometimes many in a day, but normal to go multiple days without contact (and I miss her! but try to give her the adult space she needs.) Most of the calls (there have been just a few in 4 years) have been for an urgent problem, so if I see she's calling me my heart races. But just recently she has called me for something non-emergency just to talk it through and get advice, I think that's a first. It was sweet.
Current high school senior (ds) - I'm guessing we'll hear from him much less. But we will definitely make use of the "dog picture" strategy to get a reply

[Anonymous]

Once a week for a 30-60 minute call. Sporadic texts during week.

[Anonymous]

A couple of times a week (and, if I don't call her, she'll call me). She talks with her mom basically nightly.

[Anonymous]

One Facetime call on Sundays and texts as needed to convey info during the week. some of which go unanswered (on my end).

[Anonymous]

Text a couple times a week, usually about something funny one of us has seen. Call... less than once a week for me, a little more with my husband.