How often do you call your DC in college?

[Anonymous]

Title says it all. DS is not very talkative and rarely calls, usually when he needs something. When I call he is polite and chats a little, then says he has to go, class, study etc. How often do you call your DC if they are not necessarily thrilled to hear from you?

[Anonymous]

We basically told DC (college senior) said we're happy to pay tuition, but we require a weekly "proof of life" call to check in. We do leave it up to DC to call us rather than the other way around because then the conversation is happening at a time when my kid is available and willing to talk. If I have something I want to share I'll typically text rather than call, and request a call back ASAP if needed. It's a system that has worked well for us.

[Anonymous]

99.9% text. The first couple of weeks, we texted a couple of times per week. I also get the school newsletter, and I'll forward something on to him that I think he might be interested in. He wasn't aware of some of what I sent him, so he was thankful as it was helpful.

He's pretty self reliant most of the time (now cooking up a storm in his own apt), responsible (I give him the funds from the 529, and he manages the rent, food, utilities; tuition fees still come to me), and an excellent student (straight As), so I don't hover.

Now, DC#2 will be a different story. Anxiety, some depression, not that great of a student, has migraines, etc.. so I'll be texting more often.

[Anonymous]

Not often. Mostly texting.

[Anonymous]

Usually 3 times a week, all very short. Just to say hi or ask a question about lifting weights (talks to dad), help with computers (talks to sister), everything else is for me. He doesn't text much.

[Anonymous]

Two of them -they text every day, FaceTime call average 4 times a week, sometimes 3 times a day! Depends on what’s going on. But contact from them every day.

[Anonymous]

OMG, I talk to her so darn much. It's actually crazy how much I hear from her. I had to tell her yesterday to please go to dad with her problems because I just couldn't hack it anymore.

That said, she's already been through an ER visit, a horrific roommate situation and then move, we've been sourcing stuff from the community for her new room (like fridge/microwave, TV, etc) so I have to connect her to them from 8 hours away and then yesterday she said she was very sick (likely sinus infection, but also something in her throat). Then, at the end of the day, she called to say she lost her ID. After paying $50, she of course got the email that her original ID had been found. Sonuva ;P

OMG, the drama, y'all - I need a break

[Anonymous]

2 boys -

DW texts them goodnight every night. They respond with a good night text.

We exchange selfies 1x/week

We ask them call on Sundays for a quick check in.

[Anonymous]

I have a daughter and she calls all the time and gets upset that I never call her!

[Anonymous]

Once per week, with random texts on specific things interspersed (i.e., schedule to come home for Fall break, need to order something from Amazon, etc.).

[Anonymous]

We ask him to call once a week. That usually happens on Sundays.

[Anonymous]

I hardly ever call but they do call at least once a week. To the texter who says goodnight every night, I would just wonder if that is too invasive---do they really need to be thinking about their parents every single night going to bed (or whatever they are doing?).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We ask him to call once a week. That usually happens on Sundays.

Same. And a few texts during the week. random and he often goes AWOL in the middle of the chat.

Sunday facetime calls, or he doesn't get his allowance for the week (he lives off campus, so this is for food etc.)

[Anonymous]

About once a week and occasional texting on between.

[Anonymous]

I text my college students every day - one responds every day, the other is less reliable. Probably actually talk to them 2 or 3 times a week, they also sometimes come to family zoom.

I'm fine if they are busy or only talk as they walk to class---I'm trying to be available and not push them so they want to call more often.

I also text a lot of photos of the dog......which of course they respond to.